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Order Part 3: Who's in Charge?

10/1/2017

5 Comments

 
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​We've talked about doing things in chronological order and arranging items within boundaries, so what else is there to a life in order?  One more aspect I want to discuss is being authoritative - order your time, your stuff, and your self to do what you want them to do!

When my kids talk back, my first response is, "Who's in charge?" And I repeat it until they sheepishly say, "You are."  Another often repeated phrase in my house is,  "You're in charge of you" -- which may seem contradictory to my required answer of the "who's in charge" question.  But I think it's important to recognize in my kids (and in myself) that we all choose our own behavior. The other day, after I said for the fourth time, "Who's in charge?" And one or the other of my boys said "You are."  I started to wonder if I believed that about my own life.

Sometimes I "talk back" to my circumstances, frustrated and upset and even mad.  Who's in charge of me?  As a Christian, I believe God is in control and have faith that He will care for me.  If you're not of the Christian faith - don't stop reading - this principle applies no matter your beliefs.  Within the framework of my worldview, I believe that I have free will and the responsibility to be in charge of my life, my decisions, my reactions, my thoughts, and my relationships.

"You're in charge of you.
So when I get whiny about my circumstances, I should say to myself, "Who's in charge here? I am, I'm in charge of me."  As an adult and a parent and an employee, boss, volunteer, daughter, aunt and on and on, sometimes, what we are in charge of overwhelms us.  What I am continuing to learn, and still trying to take responsibility for, is that I truly am in charge.   As much as I feel stuck, I am the one who can order my time, my priorities, and my stuff to do what I tell them to do.  I am the authority in my own life.  I can say, “Self,​
  • put your kids needs above work ​
  • say no - just because you CAN doesn’t mean you SHOULD
  • donate those clothes that don't fit so you don't feel bad about yourself every time you see them
  • eat better - sweets and fried foods do not jump in your mouth
  • delegate and use the gained time wisely
  • take a stab at your dream because you deserve a chance
  • don't go to that event, and then don’t feel guilty about it
  • take the time to do something for yourself to recharge
  • when someone asks how they can help, give them a specific way to do so
  • speak up when you don't agree
  • even when you are frustrated, show respect
  • clutter on your counter and weeds in your garden doesn't mean you failed
  • spend time with your kids instead of working, cleaning, looking at your phone, watching TV, etc."

I know you've identified with some of these - - or is it just me? The point is that we can, and should, tell our stuff, our time and ourselves what to do in an authoritative way.  This isn't easy, and it's a process that is complex because we don't live in a vacuum - especially if there are others in your life that rely on you.  But just acknowledging that you're in charge of you is the first step to really getting your life in order.
Sources:
Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

5 Comments
Darra Prather
10/5/2017 08:00:55 pm

Wonderful Claire!! Keep them coming!!!

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Claire
10/5/2017 09:10:11 pm

Thanks - so glad to have you reading!

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Bets
10/7/2017 09:23:14 am

I loved the comment about weeds meaning you didn't fail. It's ok for the people around us to see our imperfections. If they don't like it...I need different people around; and my kids need to see me be ok with some imperfection. It helps them not feel like they have to have everything together too. Well said, Claire!

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Claire
10/8/2017 09:55:46 am

So true about setting the 'imperfect is ok' example for our kids! I think my kids are in good shape, because it's obvious that I'm not perfect :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!

Reply
Elin Fair
10/23/2017 04:03:22 pm

Sweets and fried foods don't jump into my mouth! Haha loved this. I am going to start asking whose in charge. Love that. Also love you are in charge (evil mom laugh!) arge of you! My kids are going to love that! Hahahaha

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