The final way to define order is to request something be made or supplied to you - - or in short, ask for help. As women, wives, moms, professionals, caregivers, volunteers, or women who are crazy enough to try wearing multiple hats at once, we tend to take pride in the “I can do it all” gene we think we have. I know I often try to do it all, fail, and then complain about it. When I realized that making the unattainable my goal was unhealthy and just plain depressing, I stopped equating asking for help with weakness. I now put in “orders” for help all the time!
I used to use coupons, shop around, and price match, but now there’s Amazon Prime. I’m still thrifty, but now when I think of something I need that can’t be purchased on our weekly trip to local discount stores, I look it up on my Amazon app and buy it right then. How amazing is it that the item will be on my doorstep before I would make it to ‘town’ to go shopping?!
Then there are GRANDMAS - -not only can I ask them for help, but I’ve also learned to accept help when it’s offered to me by my mom and mother-in-laws (yep, that’s plural – I’m lucky enough to have two. And that is seriously not sarcasm!) Help has come in the form of house cleaning, cooking, laundry, and child care. One Christmas I got new socks from one mother-in-law and kitchen glasses from the other because they had noticed while helping with my laundry and dishes that I had holes in my socks and chips in my glasses. Before kids, I would have been offended, but I was actually touched. All three Grandmas have watched sick kids, helped with school pickup, taken them to doctor appointments, driven to sports practices, and chaperoned school field trips. These are all things I would rather have done myself, but in reality, I couldn’t, and Grandma saved the day! (Grandpas have done their share, too!)
You may not be as fortunate as I am to have parents and in-laws who are willing, able, or geographically close enough to help in this way, but we all have a variety of people in our lives that, if asked, will help in some way. A co-worker, someone from church, a child’s friend’s parent, scout leader, neighbor, etc. will likely say yes when you ask for help for one specific request.
The last example of how asking for help leads to a life in order is the cleaning lady. I learned from my mom that a little dirt never hurt and that tidy trumps a deep clean every day of the week! I like order, but don’t think of it as a synonym with clean. Dusting, vacuuming and tub scrubbing have never been on my priority list, but I like the end result! I used to clean on the weekends to avoid the guilt of having a dirty house, but then be mad about using up my precious free time.
My husband surprised me (and scored big brownie points) one Christmas when he got me a cleaning service! My house got dusted, floors vacuumed and mopped, toilets and tubs scrubbed, and sheets changed every other week! I still handled the clutter, but I like that part. The first weekend after the cleaning lady came, I sat on the couch and read a book - - READ A BOOK – on a SATURDAY MORNING – what?? It was amazing! Paying someone to clean your house does more than get it clean, it motivates you keep it picked up, takes away your guilt for not cleaning, reduces your stress, and gives you back precious time! The money for this service may not be in everyone’s budget, but there are many items I would give up to pay for a cleaning lady! Another option is to treat yourself as the cleaning lady and set aside a realistic amount of time to do the job and prepare for that time the same way you would if someone else was doing the cleaning for you. Get your family involved in the pre-work by picking up clothes, toys, and clutter. When it's time to do the cleaning, send everyone out of the house so you can clean without distraction. Treat it like you were at someone else's house (where cleaning is always more fun!) Then pay yourself either with a treat or by putting a little money aside in a special account that can grow over time.
We’ve come to the end of the series on the definitions of order - doing things in chronological order, arranging items within boundaries, telling your stuff and time what to do in an authoritative way, and requesting items to be provided to you. I’m not gonna lie, it’s hard to remember and practice all of these principles all of the time, but I want to help you find practical ways to infuse order into your everyday life. Thanks for sticking with me so far. I’d love to hear your thoughts, so please comment on a post, contact me through the site, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. There’s so much more to come - I can hardly wait to write more! Next time I'll be talking about using creativity to create order.
A woman with many roles in life who knows the necessity of keeping things in order!