Last week, I realized it was time to embrace that being a small part of something big is enough.  As I pondered what this meant in my real life here's what I came up with:

• Passion matters more than being seen

If I'm passionate about the small part I'm best at, I can make a significant contribution to the whole, even if that's not the part others will see or remember.  I don't need recognition, just the knowledge that I did my best in an area that I really cared about.

• I can't know it all, and no one else can either

I hope I'm not alone in feeling like everyone else must know more than I do.  In fact, I surmise, that I know a similar amount to others, but we just know and excel at different things.  

• What if's about the past don't help, but what if's about the future empower

When I ask myself over and over what if I would have done this or that in the past, my focus is compromised, but when I ask what if I do this or that in the future, I can decide what my focus should be going forward.

• I can create momentum through focus

That word, focus, is one that I want more of!  I've often felt like a "jack of all trades, master of none."  Choosing a small amount of things to focus on would help propel me forward.

• Feeling overwhelmed doesn't diminish your worth

We all have a purpose and value.  (Say that  to yourself a few times!)  

• I don't have to be a leader all the time

"You're a natural born leader," they say.  What I want them to say is, "It's ok to follow sometimes."

​What about you?  Do you feel like you have to be on top to matter or have you already mastered the art of teamwork and honing your specific skills so that you can compliment others with a common, big-picture goal?  I'd love to hear from you.  Comment below or email info@mylifeinorder.com.

My husband and I have been talking about a kitchen remodel for years, and when the doors to our cabinets literally began to fall off, we knew it was time!  We are still a ways from a final product, but I'm very happy with how the process has gone so far.  I planned more for this project than any other home improvement project, and it's been worth it!  

What I've learned so far:

• Start WAY in advance

Home improvement projects always take longer than expected, so start much earlier than you think is necessary.   A kitchen may be the most difficult of all remodeling projects and the timelines are longer than I ever would have expected.  5-6 weeks for cabinets to get in and ANOTHER 4-5 weeks for counter tops once cabinets are installed seems extreme, but once you know what to expect, you can begin the planning process.

• Ask lots of questions

Do your research!  Ask professionals and, more importantly, friends who have been through a similar project.  Ask for your family's input, too.  They will be the ones living with you in the space, so you want to make sure it's functional for them as well.  Things you want to learn about are style, color, materials, functionality, and durability.  

• Visualize the final product

Look at magazines, watch some home improvement shows, browse home home improvement stores, and of course create some Pinterest boards to help plan out your final design.  When you have a design in your mind, it's easier to make all the choices required for a remodeling project.

• Make your temporary space work for you

When you are remodeling a section of your home, it's an inconvenience not matter how you slice it.  Take a little extra time to set up the necessities in another area in your home.  Our family has been using our breezeway between the kitchen and garage as our temporary kitchen complete with our fridge, microwave, toaster oven and kitchen table.  Yeah, I washed dishes in my bathroom for a couple of weeks, but other than running water, I had everything I needed!

• ​Do first things first

Based on all the questions you asked earlier, you should know the pieces of the project that take the most time.  Make yourself a timeline so you don't have to put your project on hold or have your house torn up longer than necessary.  For example, we took measurements first, then found our installer which allowed us to get his input on materials and be aware of his availability.  Next we ordered cabinets so they would be delivered in the right window of time.  We knew we need to have our cabinets torn out, floor repaired and floor installed first, and we didn't want to have a kitchen's worth of cabinets taking up our garage space for longer than necessary.  

• Find the right person to do the work

Some of you are able to do home improvement projects on your own...and then there's the rest of us!  Finding someone who does quality work when they say the will do it at a reasonable price is one of the hardest parts of home ownership.  This is why asking around to others who have been through the same type of project you're doing is so valuable! Learn from their experience (and their failures!)  and ask for and take recommendations.  

• Be willing to wait for quality

Along the way, there are going to be surprises (especially if you live in an old house like mine!)  Try not to get frustrated if your well-laid plans get pushed back.  It's more important that the job get done right than get done fast.  Make sure to plan in some "fluff" time so that you don't end up having the painter scheduled to paint on the same day your counter tops are being installed because the cabinet installation was delayed due to unexpected issues with the floor.  If you build in some buffer days, your project will flow much more smoothly!

• Don't forget progress pictures!

It's so much fun to see those progress pictures.  It helps you appreciate how far you've come even when the project seems to be going slow.  When I look back at my green linoleum and what was under it, I'm even more grateful for my new, level floor!  We have a few more weeks before we can call the project complete, but we've come a long way!

I took a spring break from my blog.  I'll be honest - for these past couple of weeks, I didn't know what to write because I've been feeling very "out of order,"  and I felt a little like a fraud for even having this blog when I felt so out of control.  Control, that's a little word that seems to cause me so much trouble!

Last Sunday at church, was the first time in a while that I felt like it was ok to just sit and be.  I was allowed not to worry, not to feel guilty about all I should be doing, and didn't feel inadequate for the things I've been trying so hard to do and not succeeding at.  I was reminded that most of the minutia of my life, in the grand scheme of things, isn't really a big deal.  The things that ARE a big deal, well, I can't really change the outcome in any way by worrying or fixating on them. The Bible verse, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" from Luke 1225 is so true, so simple, and yet so hard to put into practice!  

Like so many of you, I'm a faithful This Is Us watcher, and a couple of episodes ago, Randall and Beth were shown as young parents, playing the "what's the worst that could happen" game.  I loved the reminder that even though there are always bad possibilities, the likelihood that they are going to happen is very slim, so it's not worth my energy to worry about them.  ​

Most of us have had times in our lives where we wake up with a sick feeling in the pit of our stomachs thinking about what could happen today, and sometimes we convince ourselves ahead of time that we know what the outcome will be.  I've learned through experience that there are two things I definitely can NOT do and those are predict the future or go back in time.   Because I can't do those things, I'm trying to make it a habit to focus only on what I can control and not what I can't.  It helps me to actually write out a list of each.   When I spend my time on what I can control, it makes it easier not to fret about the rest.  I realize now that being out of control is ok, is natural and once I accept it, can actually be freeing!

I found that the number of things  I can control is much less that what I cannot.  But that's what makes it manageable!  My general list of what I can control is just this:

• my bedtime and time I get up in the morning
• food that goes into my mouth
• words that come out of my mouth and my tone of voice
• if I wear a smile or a scowl
• the content of the written messages I send 
• the time I spend working vs. time spent (distraction free) with my family
• how much I move
• how much I read vs time I spend on a screen
• what I think about
• how I react
• how I plan ahead

I'm making it a new practice during my weekly review, to write down how I want these areas of my life to look in the next week.  Give it a try yourself! For example, this week I looked at my calendar of commitments and responsibilities and decided I could CONTROL going to bed by 10:30 and getting up at 6 this week, and I could CONTROL the snacks I pack in my lunchbox, and I could CONTROL going on a walk during my kids' sports practices this week, etc.  

I'm a real life pinball machine.  I feel that little ball pinging around inside of me.  There are flashes of light competing for my attention, and I'm constantly pounding on the buttons that control the flippers to keep the ball from escaping the course.  There are times I can remain focused, keep my eye on the ball and keep it from being lost.  I feel proud of being in the groove and seeing my 'score' going up and up.  But just when it seems like I've figured out this game called life, somehow I level up, and now instead of one ball to keep track of, there are two.  And so it repeats until the pinballs have multiplied and become unmanageable and overwhelming.  As my stress level increases, I can feel them in my chest, and I have to remind myself to stop and breathe.  My head doesn't stop considering all of the demands and expectations.  They are ever present - even in my sleep.   I want to stop pounding the flippers and just let all of them slide, unopposed, down the chute. That would allow me to start a new game, a fresh one, where it's really possible to keep track of my responsibilities.

Rather than quit, we need to come up with strategies to make us better.  Here are four ideas to get you started:

1.  Recognize why you are overwhelmed
Are you always "on", always connected?  Are you saying yes too often?  Do you avoid delegating?  Do you over promise or set unrealistic deadlines?  If you answered yes to these, try disconnecting some of the time, saying no, sharing the load and giving yourself some margin!

2.  Remove distractions
When you try to do too much, it's easy to try to multi-task to get it all done.  When we try to do more than one thing at once, what we're really doing is building in distractions for ourselves.  Work on short bursts of real focus.  Try the Pomodoro Technique where you work without a break for a period of time, and then get up and away from your work for a short break time.   Turn off notifications or even (gasp) close your email and instant messaging programs for a while so you are not tempted to check for incoming messages.  If you work from home, designate an area that is your "office" and use that space only for working.

3.  Take a break
Take short breaks like described above during working hours, but also consider taking a longer break from some responsibilities.  It may be time to prune your schedule to allow for some free time in your week.  Scheduling time to do nothing does not mean you are a slacker!  Consider an actual vacation where you can really disconnect from your day to day responsibilities including the technology that ties you to them.

4. Practice 
Practice really does make perfect.  If there's something you want to accomplish, you have to get better over time.  Learn from your mistakes, and systematically improve.  Make lists, read books, seek advice from those who have been successful already.

I'm excited to share a very special post from my first guest blogger, Csaba Vadadi-Fulop from www.productivity95.com.   I met Csaba when we were both part of the 10 Steps to Ultimate Productivity book launch team.  He has great content on his blog, and in this post he shares tips on remaining productive while parenting.

Productivity and Parenting 
By Csaba Vadadi-Fulop

When your baby is born, a lifelong odyssey begins. You quickly realize that you must harness your down time more than ever before. Maybe you experience a paradigm shift in your life in terms of how you perceive your world: you might be more selective in what's important and what isn't. Both happened to me.
 
You, however, can't prepare for having a newborn―no matter what people say. But you can make significant adjustments to your life both before and after the birth of your baby and that's the topic I want to discuss in this post.
 
By the end of this post, hopefully, you'll get valuable insight about how you can channel your life back into order.
 
 
Adjusting Your Lifestyle
 
It goes without saying that you'll likely develop sleep debt, exercise debt, and the like. What's less obvious, though, is that it's much more than time. It's about your space-time continuum. The arrival of a baby and the events downstream will consume your space and time in a non-linear fashion.
 
It's beyond the scope of this post to discuss nursing, psychology, time management, and the like. Nor am I capable of giving such advice. I just want to share with you how becoming a parent literally changed my life in terms of how I operate on a daily level.
 
First, it forced me to switch from the PC to a MacBook. I've flirted with the idea for years, but it was the birth of my baby when I realized that the PC simply consumes too much space, cables are in mesh, and I have less flexibility to work. The MacBook was a game-changer. I was able to work practically everywhere at any time with the comfort of a king.
 
Second, when I purchased my wireless headphones I quickly discovered that I won't miss my loudspeakers anymore. I can listen to inspiring podcasts or my favorite band and take care of my duties, simultaneously. Washing the dishes, taking out the garbage, lifting my dumbbells? No problem, I just put on my magic headphones―with my iPhone laying on the kitchen table (!)―and my favorite podcast is with me all the time, regardless of whether I'm in the bathroom, bedroom, or yard. And my baby would still be sleeping or wondering what the heck dad wears on his shiny head.
 
Luckily I switched to consuming eBooks a couple of years ago, and I can say it was a good deal. EBooks don't take up any place; they're sitting in the cloud (Kindle cloud, by the way). So I can reserve some shelves for the storybooks dedicated to my little baby.
 
I've been extraordinarily resistant to changes for years including those related to the above-mentioned (portable device, headphones, eBooks). I always had an excuse―be it finance, reluctance, or fear―preventing me from diving into new things. Having a child is a perfect time to say no to your reluctant self!
 
Let's discuss the tech side of all those changes a little bit...
 
 
Adjusting Your Techniques
 
I use Nozbe as my task manager that's highly flexible to keep my life in order. I created a Baby project in Nozbe to home tasks that are related to parenting. When my wife was in the hospital with our newborn, I made a grocery-like checklist in Nozbe to ensure that I buy and deliver to the hospital everything my new family needed.
 
It was a highly demanding period: the born of your baby is psychologically demanding itself; on top of that you're supposed to take care of a lot of things, including the certificates of your baby, among others. Nozbe was a great partner in this period, too.
 
Later on, I kept important deadlines in Nozbe about vaccination and the like.
 
I still have my Baby project with a traveling checklist, recurring tasks such as weight recording, and more. This project will never end. Maybe I’ll rename it to, say, "Parenting" for the next twenty years.
 
It's one thing that you keep your tasks in a trusted system, another thing is finding a system to organize your notes.
 
Evernote is the note-taking app that I use on a daily basis to record and keep my notes, clip articles, save my journal entries, and the list is almost endless. I keep a lot of parenting related stuff in Evernote: baby first aid guides, nursing guides, weight journal, notes from the pediatrician, consultation hours, screenshots of diapers and medications, and much more.
 
Keeping a record of the baby's weight is a must. I created automation on my iPhone with the Workflow app: each week when my wife and I are recording the baby's weight, I just push a button on my home screen, enter the weight, and it will automatically appear in my Evernote weight journal with the appropriate date and time.
 
Sounds good? I still have much to improve...
 
 
Future Commitments
 
There's always a place to improve and adjust your productivity system.
 
Selecting the clothes that I like the most is still ahead. The rest is best to go for a charity that will open up a lot of space in my wardrobe. But, again, it goes beyond space: it will free up mental space for me.
 
Integrating regular exercise into my weekly routine is another challenge: I want to fight off this challenge with immersing into different new sports and picking the one I like the most. Without feeling anticipation, it's hard to build a long-lasting habit.
 
It's my sincere hope that you got some ideas and motivation to adjust to dad life (or mom life). Parenting is a lifetime commitment; productivity is a never-ending journey: why not combine the two for multiple outcomes?

A while back, I wrote about my struggle with my weight, and I'm still working on it!  I have a trip coming up in a couple of months which is a great motivator for me to set a goal and crush it!  I've been trying to figure out how to keep track of my progress and while also setting myself up for success.  

Research says habits are broken down into three parts:

1. Triggers
2. Actions
3. Rewards

Identifying triggers can help us to avoid them or come up with strategies to cope with them.  I've always thought my triggers were stress and free food, but what I've been noticing is that the lack of a plan or accountability seems to be what really gets me in trouble.  

I don't know about you, but I'm really good at rewarding myself, but I struggle to find a reward that is appropriate and doesn't undermine my intended outcome.  For example, I often feel like when I've lost some weight, I "deserve" a milk shake or a candy bar or some jalapeno poppers!  I think the reason I feel like I've earned some "bad" food is because I've felt deprived during the short stint of weight loss.  ​

I've been brainstorming a way to help address my triggers and my feelings of deprivation.  I ran across James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, who says that the first step to successfully developing a habit is to make one so small it's almost impossible fail.  I like the idea of not failing, so I decided to give this miniature habit thing a try.  I chose just one thing to focus on for a very short time period of time.

I saw an intriguing idea on Pinterest about tracking habits with a very simple chart with dates for an entire month listed down the left side of the paper and habits across the top.  This would create squares that could be colored in to indicate completion of a task.  Using different colors to indicate different actions gives a quick visual representation of your actions.  I decided to create my own chart, and even though I fantasize about producing a beautiful bullet journal (and maintain a Pinterest board about it), I took a shortcut and created a printable that I could just color in.  My chart is a little different, and instead of various habits across the top, I listed the hours in the day to help me see patterns in my eating throughout the day.

I wanted to track one goal at a time, every day and see my progress in small increments - as small as every hour.  Each hour, I can color in the corresponding box with either green (I did good), red (I did bad) or blank  (I didn't do anything related to my goal.)  Then over just a few days, I can quickly see how I'm doing and if there are any particular days or times of days that are tripping me up.  By focusing only on one goal, I am much more likely to be successful, and then I can eventually add additional goals after my first one has become a true habit. 

My first goal was to avoid white flour.  I tracked my progress for the last few days of February, and the picture above is  how I did.  What I noticed was that by focusing only on one goal, I didn't feel deprived and thus didn't feel the need to reward myself with food for a job well done nearly as much as I had during previous weight loss efforts.  I also noticed that even though I was focusing on only one goal, it made me very conscious of my other food choices, and I ate better overall than I normally did.  I love being able to look at my chart and immediately be able to tell that I have a good breakfast and morning snack routine going, but I eat lunch at all sorts of different times, and my problem time is evening and late nights!  The jury is still out if this plan will work for me long term, but I'm excited to give it a try.  Who knows, maybe this will work so well I'll eventually add in some exercise to the mix!  

​Check out the free Habit Tracker printable, and give it a try!  You can come up with your own color system and make it as elaborate or as simple as you'd like. ​ Print out just one or use multiples as you add to your goals and habits. I will be reporting back before my trip in May to let you know how this system is working for me.  I'd love to hear from you if you test out this system and would especially like to see pictures if you draw a really pretty one in your bullet journal!

Sources

Quora. “The Science Behind Adopting New Habits (And Making Them Stick).” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 13 Feb. 2018, www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2018/02/13/the-science-behind-adopting-new-habits-and-making-them-stick/#4f1430e843c7.

Clear, James. Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones. Cornerstone, 2019.

​

Music doesn't only make me cry, it inspires me.  There are all sorts of music - some with lyrics that would make you blush, some that only sound good with a major twang, and some with a better beat than melody.  I love all that this abstract thing we call music is - music is math, it’s art, it’s emotion, and it’s everywhere! Music brings people together, transforms us, allows us to express what’s deep inside, and displays God’s perfect design.    

2.  Set an alarm you can't ignore (or two)  
I used to be a serial snoozer.  I could hit a traditional alarm clock's snooze button every 9 minutes for a good hour before finally rolling out of bed.  I tried using my Fit Bit as an alternative and set multiple alarms that would vibrate until I turned them off.  That worked better, but I soon learned, I can turn them off in my sleep!  I think I may have found the best solution for me - I have been setting an alarm on my Google Mini and when it goes off it the morning, I have to actually speak to turn it off, "Hey Google, cancel alarm."  Even if I don't get out of bed immediately, having to talk out loud seems to wake me up enough so I don't fall back asleep. ​  I like setting backup alarms to make sure I'm out of bed in time.  Additional alarms throughout the morning can also keep you on track - try an "it's time for breakfast" alarm, an "it's time to dry my hair alarm", or an "it's time to load the car" alarm.  Remember all those little things you do in the morning that could be wasting time - like checking email or social media on your phone or watching the news.  If you want to build those into your morning, give yourself a set time so you don't get carried away!

5.  Limit the number of times you open doors and drawers
I try to only open a drawer or a door twice a morning - once to get out what I need and a second time to put those things away.  I open my top bathroom vanity drawer to get out my contacts, my hairbrush, and my makeup bag.  Then I close the drawer and don't open it again until I'm done with all of those items.  I open the door under my vanity to get out my curling iron and/or hair dryer and hair products, and then I close it.  I don't open it again until I'm ready to put those away and while I have it open I spritz myself with body spray before closing the door for the final time.  

6.  Put things away as you go
I like to wake up to a clear bathroom counter and leave for work with a clear bathroom counter.  It allows me to start the day with a little control.  When you do your makeup, try taking out all the items you will use out and set on the counter.  As you use them, put them back in a makeup bag, so when you're done, everything is back in your bag and it's easy to just put it back in its place.  Try a heat proof bag or container for curling irons or straighteners, so you can put them away as soon as you're done instead of leaving cords all over the place!  Keep a wastebasket next to where you get ready so you can throw away cotton swabs, tissues, cotton balls, etc. as you go.

7. Empty your head
Whenever you think of something you need to do, either write it down in a place you will see before you walk out the door or set a reminder on your phone that will create a notification so you can feel confident you won't forget.  If I need to take food for a carry in or return a library book or drop my car off at the repair shop, I set a reminder for early that morning so that when I look at my phone before I walk out the door, I'll see the notification.  This helps me sleep better not trying to remember what I have to do in the morning.  I also set reminders at times all throughout the day for things I need to buy, errands I need to run, phone calls I need to make, etc.  It's nice to get them out of my head and into a system I trust.  

I've said it many times before, I'm not great with time, which is why I try to come up with systems and habits to help me.  I'm not going to lie and say I'm never late or I always have a calm morning, but these few tips have helped me greatly reduce the amount of mad rush mornings!  ​

Now that my youngest is in 2nd grade, I think this year will be the first where neither kid has any doubt that their admirer is their mom, but I don't care, I'm still going all out! If you want to do something similar for your kids (or friend or significant other) here are the basics:

• Decide how many days you are going to give gifts. I usually choose 7 days, but it may be fun to do it longer (and don't feel bad if you can only make it happen a couple of days!)
• Purchase or make small gifts for each day. I hit up the dollar store or dollar bins for little trinkets. Some examples of items I've purchased are balloons, stickers, mini toys, notebooks, small stuffed animals, candy, snacks, books, and Valentine's socks. I've also made handmade cards, written little poems, drawn pictures or made cookies. I like to include a note with something I love about the kids along with each day’s surprise.
• Decide on a 'reveal' gift. I usually pick something a little larger for the day I announce that it is indeed me, their mama, who has been showering them with gifts. This year they are getting a larger piece of candy and a t-shirt. I got them t-shirts last year, and I was just noticing this week how often my youngest wears that Hogwarts tee from last Valentine's Day, so I decided on a repeat!
• Plan out how the gifts will be delivered. You could go as easy as setting items on the kitchen table at night before you go bed, leaving them at your back door, hiding them in the house, or you could really throw your kids off your trail by mailing them! This year, I put each day's item in an envelope marked with their name and the date it should be opened and put all of those envelopes inside a giant bubble mailer, and one evening, I'll bring it in as if it were dropped off at our house. I'm excited at the anticipation it will bring when they open the package see all the envelopes! I did not include the 'reveal' gift in this envelope, but instead got a very glittery gift bag to give each kid before school on Valentine’s Day including a card explaining that I'm their not-so-secret admirer.
• Enjoy! It’s a lot of fun to make someone else’s day, especially if it’s someone you love!

It's easy to let your medicine cabinet get out of control - as long as you can shut the doors, you can ignore whatever is going on in there, right?! You can become blind to your own clutter, or so overwhelmed by it that you don't even use your medicine cabinet anymore. I was tired of the fear that all of the expired medicine would fall on me and annoyed that I felt like I was running out of space in my bathroom. This weekend, I did a major medicine cabinet purge in both of my bathrooms and then made a trip to one of my favorite stores, Dollar General, to stock up on a few items that would fit in the narrow cabinets and provide the organization I was looking for. Here are 5 items that you might not think of using in your medicine cabinet that can help you get organized and only cost a few bucks!

1.  Plastic Cups
​I needed some vertical storage, so I looked for some tall plastic cups.  I found 4 for $1!  Make sure to measure your shelves first and measure the diameter of the bottom AND top of the cup to make sure you can close the door all the way.  I used cups to store an entire bag of cough drops, tubes of toothpaste, small bottles of lotion, and my husband's electric trimmer.  To make it easy (dare I say foolproof) for my family, I labelled the cups!  I like the idea of cups because if they get gross, they can be popped in the dishwasher!​

2. Drawer Organizers
I bought a set of modular drawer organizers and was able to use the small and medium sizes in my cabinets (I used the large ones in my vanity drawers so they didn't go to waste!) I put things like nail clippers, first aid ointments, and bottles of medicines in these organizers and added a label as well!

3. Small, plastic food storage containers
I found a 3 pack of food storage containers for a great deal. I didn't need the lids, but the oblong size was perfect. I like clear storage so you can see what you're getting. This is especially helpful for top shelves. Consider taking items out of their original packaging to store in a more accessible way. I emptied all the adhesive bandages out of their cardboard boxes and separated into large and small sizes (and of course, labelled the containers!) I also emptied out flossers into one of these containers. Since there is a wide mouth opening, it is more likely that my kids will grab one and actually floss their teeth than if they had to get them from the original package.
​

4. Command hooks
I got a set of Command hooks for the inside of one of the doors and used them to hang a razor. My door has an inset area that was perfect to tuck the razor in! You could even hang toothbrushes or tubes of toothpaste with a binder clip attached to the end of the tube. Take note of where your shelves are situated to make sure there is room for the items you want to hang from inside the door. I also like to tape a little inspiration on the inside of my doors - a sweet note from my kids and a picture of me at my ideal weight!

5. Small decorative candle holder
I found adorable little lantern shaped glass tea light candle holders that were just shallow enough to fit in my cabinets for a dollar each! I used them for our thermometers. Because the container is glass, it won't tip over. I used the second one for a few of my random items I use on a daily basis.

My medicine cabinets look a little bare right now because I purged so many expired items.  I have a short list of the things I want to replace, but now I have plenty of space and a plan for where each item will go.  Just as with every area that you organize, it is important to purge first, determine the best location for what you have left, and then purchase or repurpose storage solutions specific to your own needs!  

I cracked open my brand new journal on my birthday this week.  My first entry is titled "38 Things I Want to Accomplish While I'm 38."  Last year, I wrote down one less goal for a 37 year-old's version of this list.  I made the list with various types of goals - some fun, some frivolous, some personal, some professional, some physical, some spiritual, but all just for me.  I made some easy and some a real challenge.  I was thrilled to mark off one of them very early in the year - I beat my husband at chess!  Sometime in my first three months of being 37, I was able to check off another one - I found an appropriately sized and stylish black purse - I call that a win! I didn't buy a new shower curtain or finish reading the whole Bible, though.  In fact, I only completed 20 of the 37.  Let me rephrase that, I completed 20 of the 37 things I wanted to do last year - that's over half, and some of them were really big! ​

5 reasons you should make your own birthday goal list this year!
​
1.   It's fun
The goals can be anything - they can be meaningful or can be purely indulgent  I kept mine private so I didn't feel embarrassed about how silly or insignificant some may have seemed to others.  

2.   It's low pressure
This birthday goal list was in addition to areas of focus for the year and related goals, so they weren't high stakes to me.  They were just for fun and some were long shots - like I wanted to get 1,000 likes on my Facebook page - I made it to 335.  I'm not upset because it was just an arbitrary number and working to get there got me to where I am!
​
3.  It provides you multiple small wins
When you create lots of small, easy to attain goals, it makes you feel good about yourself as you check them off.  This gives you momentum and motivation to attack larger goals!  When you make attainable goals that are split up into digestible and measurable pieces, you set your self up for success.  For example, don't set a goal to "read more" instead, set a goal to read a book.  That's not too hard and once you've done it, you will likely want to do it again and again.    

4.  It allows you to dream of your future self
It's fun to daydream about where you will be in a year.  Thinking about how we want our future self to look, feel and act can be fun, but also help us to set goals to help us get there.  I often think about my future self - what would my future self appreciate me doing now (like stashing a dark chocolate Dove bar in my car's console so that I find it on a day I'm starving on my drive home and unexpectedly find this treat!); how will my future self feel when I've gotten through this tough season that I'm dealing with in the present (pride, joy, relief, or will I regret how I handled it?) ; or how will my future self benefit from this thing I'm doing today (exercising, eating right, etc.)  If you've never considered the concept of your future self, listen to this Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast episode.

5.  It gives you perspective and helps you give yourself grace.
Since I made this birthday goal list last year, I was able to read through what I wrote last January and reflect on why those things were important to me then.  I realized some of them are no longer important to me now, and there are new things are in my life now that weren't even on my radar then.  I did transfer a few of the undone items from last year to this year that I still care about.  But I was also able to easily let go of some of the things I didn't accomplish.  I gave myself permission to just not do them - just like that - no guilt or explanation needed! 

Let us know in the comments if you make a birthday goal list this year! 

​One thing that I had no idea would happen in 2018 when I did my planning last year was that I would dip my toe into sales through Clever Container (and be pretty successful at it!)  Though this experience only lasted about 6 months - you can read about how I handled my disappointment about that here - it got me really excited about 2019! What is ahead for me that I can’t even fathom right now??  It also helped me realize that the unknown doesn’t have to be scary, it can be exhilarating! Be wary of counting on things to just fall into place, though. I really believe reflection and planning are still critical to our own success and well-being.  ​

It doesn’t matter that January 1 has come and gone - that’s just an arbitrary date that many people use to give them a clean slate, but you can do this exercise anytime!  Give it a try - ask yourself some questions about your past and your future.  It is really enlightening to see what commonalities appear and how you can get laser focused on certain areas of self-improvement and set yourself up for growth in ways you can’t even imagine at this point in time.

I’ll share my 2019 areas of focus with you below, but I want to be clear that these are just categories or cues for specific goals that I will create and review throughout the year.  Read about some goal setting tips here. This year I want to focus on:

• Shared experiences - I noticed last year that this is how I got to know people better, connected more with my family, and made lasting memories

​

• Home - I consistently desire more time at home and a more welcoming space - it’s time to make that happen!

​

• ​Creativity - I enjoy the creative pursuits I have tried, but just don’t allot enough time for them.  I also want to stretch and try something new.

​

• Calm - Stress wreaks havoc on my mind and body, and I want to slow down and spend more time in calming environments and learn strategies to control how I respond to situations.

I’d love to hear about your plan for this year!  Were you able to come up with just one word to drive your whole year, or do you have several areas to focus on?  What are you most excited about for 2019?  Share with us below in the comments or join me on Facebook!

On a whim, back before I'd even had the courage to publish my first blog post, I applied to be part of a book launch team for a new productivity book from the founder of the task management software I use, Nozbe. I was thrilled when I was selected as one of approximately 100 people worldwide who would have the opportunity to review and offer suggestions for this book. At that time, I had no idea that I'd actually be quoted in the book! It's been over a year, but the book has been written, edited, and published! 10 Steps to Ultimate Productivity by Michael Sliwinski is now available for purchase!! I'll give you a summary of some of the great content from this book below. Make sure to read to the end for info on how to get entered for your chance to win a copy!

The first thing you need to know about this book is that its author definitely has the authority to be writing it!  I had the honor tointerview Michael Sliwinski last year and learned about why he's a true productivity expert.  Click here to read the post for more background on the man who created a productivity platform that nearly half a million people use daily!

Each chapter of the book is one of the 10 steps to ultimate productivity.  For each step, you will be taught why it is important, learn from some real life examples, receive tips about how to put the step into practice in your own life.  There are also bonus materials that you can access online to help with your own personal productivity system. 

The ten steps are:​

1. Clear Your Mind
2. ​From Tasks to Projects
3. Focus on What's Most Important
4. ​Be Productive Anytime and Anywhere
5. Delegate Tasks to Achieve More - Work in a Team
6. Group Your Tasks and Shift Gears
7. Take Control Over Your Documents
8. ​Check Your System Regularly
9. Master Your Emails
10. What Else Can You Improve?

I'm so excited for you to read this book that I'm going to give you the chance to get one for FREE!  There are two ways to enter (and you can do either or both for an additional entry!)  ​A winner will be drawn on Thursday, January 17, 2019.

• Visit My Life In Order on Facebook, like the page if you haven't already,  and follow the instructions on the pinned post! 
• Follow My Life In Order on Pinterest, and repin the pin about 10 Steps to Ultimate Productivity from the Productivity and Time Management Board!

I have two weeks off for the first time since before I entered the workforce (of course I'm not counting maternity leave because that is NOT vacation!)  To say I'm excited is a severe understatement.  Many people have asked me what I'm doing and where I'm going.  My answer is nothing and nowhere - and that's by choice and why I'm thrilled!  I love the holidays - the decorating, the Christmas sweaters and socks, the cooking and baking, the gift giving and the family gatherings are all fun!  But just as much as I love the holidays, I love the fresh start of the new year that follows.  

I have a busy life just like most of you.  A wife, mother, daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt, cousin, friend, volunteer, employee, boss, entrepreneur, piano teacher - there are so many roles I play.  I enjoy having all these varied experiences, but there is one area that I tend to neglect - ME!  

This week between Christmas and New Years is one of the best times to recharge your battery.  During my time off, I plan to reflect on the past year, plan for the new one, rest, relax, enjoy things I want to do, make memories with my family, declutter and purge, and reorganize.  Try this quick list of tasks to help you transition from the holidays to the new year!

1. Un-decorate - I prefer to leave my Christmas decorations for a few days after December 25, but no later than the weekend after New Years Day.  Once your decorations are down, you can see the new start that the new year brings.

​2. Purge - after receiving Chirstmas gifts, you are more likely to be willing to part with old items around the house.  I start with my kids' rooms where most of the new "stuff" from the holidays tends to end up.  We do a system of 20 minutes at a time of hard core work, going through every item and nook and cranny.  I have two kids so while one kid is decluttering with me in their room, the other gets some screen time.  We alternate until we are done.   I can't wait to complete the purging process in my own space as well - look out small appliances, your days may be numbered!  

As 2018 comes to a close, there are many decisions to make, but one of the biggest is which 2019 planner is best for you?  I'm kidding (a little) but if not one of the most important decisions, it's definitely one of the most fun! 

Planning saves time and helps us feel in control.  There are many options for planning tools from a simple notebook to a pretty planner to slick digital apps.  There is no perfect method for planning your days, but there several questions that you can answer to help you choose the right planner for you!

1. Do you prefer digital, paper or both?
2. Do you want to keep personal and professional plans separate or do you prefer one overarching system?
3. What do you want to include in your planner?  Appointments, tasks, ideas, and/or notes?
4. Where will you need to access your planner?  Will you carry it with you or leave it in one location?

Once you've answered these basic questions, you can move on to the more detailed options based on your paper vs. digital preference.  ​

Paper

• How big?  do you want to be able to fit it in your pocket or your purse, or do you carry a work bag or backpack?
• Does color matter?
• Do you like pages to lay flat?  Do you prefer spiral bound planners?
• Do you want the pages of your planner to be pre-printed or would you rather draw/write everything more like a bullet journal?
• Do you want calendar pages to have the dates filled in for you, or do you want to add your own dates?
• Do you want to have space for monthly, weekly and/or daily planning?  Is it important to have your days broken into timed increments?
• Do you want a to-do list on a separate page from your calendar or all in one area?
• What weight do you want your paper to be?  
• Do you want a hard or soft cover?  So you want the cover to be wipeable?
• How much do you want to spend on your planner?

Digital

• Do you want a calendar only or do you need a task manager as well?
• Do you want to be able to share the contents of your planning system either for others to view or to delegate?
• Do you want a free tool or a subscription based tool?  How much are you willing to spend?
• Do you want to be able to use your digital tool on a computer, a tablet, and/or a smartphone?
• Is it important to you to link to other apps? For example, do you want to integrate a task manager with your calendar or note taking apps?
• Do you want the ability to import and export information?
• Does the tool have the ability to categorize and color code items?

​I like a hybrid approach and use a digital calendar, digital task manager with digital reminders, as well as a paper planner.  I prefer to keep personal and professional somewhat separate, but do combine them in one view.  For example, on my iPhone's calendar app, I have my personal Google Calendar, my "side hustle" Google Calendar, and my work Outlook calendar overlaid on one another so I can see everything at once.  For me, I want to capture time bound meetings and appointments, deadlines, and special dates like birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar and to-dos in a task list.  I need a place to jot down notes and ideas, and a place to store a piece of notepaper as well.  It may seem redundant to have tasks in both a digital and written format, but the physical act of writing things down helps me process and remember them better.  When I transfer items from my digital task list to my physical planner during a regular planning time, it helps to cement in my mind what is truly a priority.

I am so excited that this year, I have the 5x8 size of the Simplified Planner by Emily Ley.  I'd been eyeing this online for quite some time, and then a few weeks ago, a friend who knows me well surprised me with a super cool and pretty 2019 planner!  I will set aside some reflection and planning time between Christmas and New Years to begin filling out this colorful notebook!  Here are a few tips I've learned over the years for written planners:

Buy a special writing utensil to use with your planner.   A mechanical pencil may be your best option - it's erasable, the tip will always be sharp and it won't bleed through the pages.  But there's something fun about using a special pen that writes so smoothly...  Just make sure to test pens on a small section of paper to make sure it doesn't bleed or smudge.  Different types of paper react differently to different types of ink.  Consider a couple of colors of pens/highlighters to use and make a system of what each color means.  For example, if you decide to add both work and personal obligations, you may want to use one color for work and one color for personal.
 
Create a way to keep your place.  Find a reliable bookmark, fun binder clip, or reusuable sticky note tab to mark your place in your paper planner.  My planner comes with tabs for each month, but I will still want to mark which date I'm on to make it that much quicker to do my planning.  

Decide how far out you will plan.  Most people do well to put in the big events for the whole year on the calendar and then plan around those on a monthly or weekly basis.  A quick review of your calendar and digital tools before bed allow you to write down your appointments and must dos the night before in your paper planner.  This will allow you to rest easier knowing you haven't forgotten anything and that you have a solid plan for the next day.    

Set a regular planning meeting with yourself and your family.   My husband and I both work full time and have a significant commute, plus have some volunteer commitments, lots of parenting commitments and also appreciate some downtime.  We have to have at least a weekly check in to figure out who's going to pick up the kids, what we will have for dinner, etc.    This doesn't have to be a formal meeting - ours is usually after a meal and we both whip out our phones and check who has to go in early, who has to stay late, and what kid's activities are coming up that week.  This allows us to plan our grocery shopping list and arrange childcare for the week ahead.  ​We invite each other to events using our digital calendars so know what is expected of us. 

I hope you can find your ideal planner in the next couple of weeks so you can start off your 2019 feeling like a planning rockstar!  If you have another planner you love, please share with us in the comments.

The title of my my blog is My Life In Order, but I have to admit, this weekend, I did not feel very orderly!  One of the things I enjoy most is ending - in a quick and unexpected way.  I learned this weekend that Clever Container is going out of business in just a couple of weeks.  Clever Container is a company I have worked for since June selling organizing supplies. It has been more fun and fulfilling and I was more successful at it than I ever expected!  I had plans for a long future and a lot of growth with the company, and it all just ended with one phone call. To say I’m disappointed is a severe understatement. ​

Over the weekend, I felt like doing a whole lot of nothing.  All my grand plans for Saturday got derailed when I learned this news.  I didn’t feel like cleaning, wrapping gifts, doing paperwork, or even spending quality time with my friends and family.  I really kind of wanted to just crawl into bed and binge on Netflix while eating chocolate, but instead, I trudged on reluctantly. I soon realized this disappointment was interfering with my productivity in a big way, and that made me kind of mad!  My future had already been changed by this news, and now I was struggling to do some basic tasks and to enjoy the things I normally look forward to. I had a couple of choices. I could be upset and wallow in it or I could control the things I could control in the moment.  For me, a clutter free house, organized paperwork, and a productive day are things that I can directly control. After giving myself some alone time to mope a little, I spent time doing things that had a visible impact in my house. I needed some quick wins to make me feel back in control.  Clean laundry and dishes, clear surfaces, and a to-do lists with lots and lots of checks were just what I needed!​

Next I wrote down part a Bible verse that most of us know “All things work together for good.” (Romans 8:28)  I knew this intellectually, but emotionally it was hard to accept! You’ve all heard the first part of this famous quote, “When one door closes another opens;”  but I had never heard the second half which is really profound,”but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”  Alexander Graham Bell, you were wise! Thinking about this, led me to write three words that gave me some hope:​

Around the holidays, I always get the urge to purge!  Life gets so busy between Thanksgiving and Christmas around my house with school programs, parties, shopping, decorating, family gatherings, etc.  It seems extra difficult for me to stay on top of the regular tasks like laundry, dishes and clutter, so this is the time that having less stuff is really appealing.  Whenever this feeling strikes me, I take advantage and get out some trash bags and cardboard boxes!  ​

I like to do pre-holiday purging in the areas that I'm most likely to acquire new stuff.  The prime location to begin, kids' rooms!  It's ideal to involve your kids in this process, explaining that if they want to enjoy new toys or gifts, they have to make some room.  I like to give the kids 5 options on every item in their room:

1. Keep for everyday use
2. Keep as a keepsake
3. Give away to someone we know
4. Donate 
5. Trash

For me and my sons, it works best if I'm in the room with them, holding up each item, but if you have older kids, they may be able to do this process on their own.  Since there are 5 options, we use 5 containers - a combination of trash bags, boxes and storage bins.  To be very thorough, have your smallest child crawl under the bed or to the back of the closet to make sure you get everything!  I have found that option 2, keep as a keepsake, has helped reduce the time it takes to make a decision.  Kids are sure about the things they want to keep and get rid of, but there are some items in between.  Rather than force them to decide one way or the other, we keep a box of keepsakes in the basement.  Occasionally (but not as often as we should) we go through those keepsakes and purge  further.  I also throw in the option of giving away to someone we know because it's easier to get rid of a beloved toy if they know it's going to their younger cousin who will like it (and they may get to play with it at their house, too!) 

Just like I make my kids go through this process, I like to do it myself on my clothes, coats, jewelry, and shoes.  It works out well since this time of year usually aligns with when I do my clothing seasonal switch.  I also like to go through things like CDs, movies, craft supplies, and kitchen gadgets.  If you want to do some in-depth work on your kitchen, check out my video series, 7 Days to an Orderly Kitchen! 

I have a hard time getting rid of things that prove my kids are growing up - like kids' movies and music,  games for younger kids, coloring books, and even little spoons and cups.  This is where giving to someone I know comes in handy for me.  I can much more easily part with a Sonic the Hedgehog activity book, a plastic Spiderman plate and silverware set, or Veggie Tales DVDs when I know my nephews (and now niece!) or a friend's child will enjoy them.  

​In addition to purging, I love to use this time to get organized as well.  The key is to be realistic about how you use your spaces and to store items near where they are typically used.  Using the correct storage solutions is important.  For example, you don't want to stack bins on top of one another that you want to access often. Instead, consider a shelf with bins, hanging closet shelves, a set of drawers, or stacking bins with front access.   Make a list of what storage problems you have and then do a little organization browsing online or in person.  Select one area to focus on first and either purchase or re-purpose some organizing supplies for that area to be complete.  This will give you so much more satisfaction than getting one thing for each room.  You can slowly add to your collection of organizing supplies as time goes on.

On my last day of Thanksgiving vacation, I'm planning a fun filled day of purging!  So family and friends (you know who you are,) prepare yourself for being offered a bunch of stuff we no longer need!  I remember receiving lots of hand-me-down clothes and toys from others who had older kids, and even if I didn't keep everything, I always appreciated free stuff and knowing that someone else thought enough of us to pass down things they used to love.   Happy pre-holiday purging to all!

Anger (/ˈaNGɡər/)  - a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility.  I've never thought of myself as an angry person, but I've realized lately that 'strong feeling of annoyance' can begin to control me.  When I use so much of my energy either thinking about why I'm angry, talking about it, or trying to stuff it down so I'm not rude, I don't have much left for the things that really need to get done.  Anger also causes me to stop thinking clearly, so even if I had energy left, my quality of work would suffer.

I want to use my energy in a positive way to accomplish my goals efficiently.  So how do I stop the feelings of annoyance and anger that suck up so much of that energy and cloud my thinking?   ​

• Determine what is causing the feelings of frustration.

It's so easy to blame others, and though people or situations can be the reason we feel frustrated, no one can cause us to feel a certain way.  We all have the power to reframe our situations and change our outlook. Try as we might, there may still remain some frustration in certain environments, so if you can remove yourself from a situation or at least limit the amount of time you spend in it, this can help reduce future anger.   Can you delegate tasks, reschedule appointments, or even give up activities that are making you feel overwhelmed, annoyed, or angry?  Prepare yourself when you know you have to enter a difficult situation by making notes of what you want to say or do (or want to avoid saying or doing!) 

• ​Acknowledge the feelings, and control them instead of letting them control you

​​I like to be in control, and when I'm not, I feel upset.  When I let annoyance get the best of me, I get even more upset with myself for letting that happen.  It's ironic that a lack of control can cause anger, but yet anger begins to control me - what a vicious cycle!   What if you said in your head, "na-na na-na boo-boo you can't make me mad!"  and created a new identity for yourself as someone who is slow to anger?  When you do get angry (because you're not perfect), learn how to channel that energy in a positive way - a walk or a run, rocking out to some music, or doing something creative may help you push through the negativity while still accomplishing something.

• Go on the offensive against your anger.​  

My pastor recently suggested that gratitude may be the opposite of anger.  Gratitude is a belief that can be chosen despite how you feel.  Try practicing gratitude on a regular basis to counteract annoyance.​  A daily practice like discussing what we are grateful for around the dinner table or keeping a gratitude journal has been proven to ward off negativity and improve health and well-being.  Researcher, Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., has conducted multiple gratitude studies showing that gratitude increases happiness.  It's hard to stay angry while your happiness is increasing!

• ​Create a focus before you get frustrated!

Anger and frustration cloud our thinking, so if we don't already have a plan in place, it's going to be very difficult to formulate one with all those negative emotions swirling around.  That's why it's so important for us to plan ahead, keep an ongoing project and task list, and to create timelines and milestones for ourselves.   Brian Tracy, author of Eat That Frog!, says that "every minute spent in planning saves as many as ten minutes in execution."   I dare to speculate that if you were trying to execute while angry and hadn't planned beforehand, you would waste even more time!  If you have a system in place of where you capture your goals and related tasks, you may even be able to use some of your outstanding to-do's as a way to distract yourself from your emotions.  If you didn't already have tasks outlined or scheduled, it would be very difficult to make decisions on what needs to be done next in the midst of frustration.  Use digital tools like Nozbe, Trello, or Evernote to keep track of projects and tasks, or go the old school route and designate a special notebook for your to-do list.

Do you have other tips for keeping it together when you are dealing with a difficult situation or feeling angry?  Some readers may appreciate the tips heading into the holidays when stress levels and frustrations tend to run high!  Share with us in the comments.

Sources
Emmons, Robert A., and Michael E. Mccullough. “Counting Blessings versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life.” Journal of Personality & Social Psychology, vol. 84, no. 2, 2003, pp. 377–389., doi:10.1037//0022-3514.84.2.377.

​Tracy, Brian. “Plan Ahead and Increase Productivity.” Brian Tracy's Self Improvement & Professional Development Blog, Brian Tracy International, 22 Sept. 2017, www.briantracy.com/blog/time-management/plan-ahead-and-increase-productivity/.

As the holidays approach, I begin to think more about my Grandma who passed away on Thanksgiving Day 5 years ago.  She lived 98 years, and I had the privilege to know her for 32 of those.  Appropriately, earlier this week I saw a quote, "Be the things you loved most about the people who are gone," and it made me sad to think about three of my four grandparents who are gone.  But then I realized how fortunate I am to have had so many good examples in my life (including my other Grandma who I'm blessed to still have!)  What a great way to honor them by being the things I loved most about them!   

I have two Grandpas and one Grandma who are in heaven.  I don't know if there's anyway that they can look down on this world or not, but it's comforting to think that they might be.  I hope that if that's the case, they'd be proud to see their granddaughter living out the lessons they taught me.  One of my grandfathers died when I was only 9, but I have vivid memories and lessons learned from him just like I do my other grandpa who died when I was almost 30.  I've chosen three qualities from each of my grandparents that I want to display in my own life, and I'll start with my Grandma Lena who I had a very special bond with.

Grandpa Ralph (married to Grandma Lena)

• Fun and Adventure - He loved to travel, and liked to take a different route every time he went somewhere.  I was born when he was almost 71 years old, but even at that age, he played tag with me, taught me how to 'pump' on the swing in his back yard, and played games with me.  He was always singing and playing his harmonica or ukulele.   A few years ago, I decided I wanted to spend more time doing things that were fun to me - that included giving piano lessons and writing this blog and going on trips with my family.
• Kindness - He was the kindest man I've ever known.  As I said, I was only 9 when he died, but his kindness made a huge impression on me.  He treated me, even as a young girl, with respect.  Maybe that's why I've always talked to my kids more like they were adults than kids - I liked to be talked to and treated that way.  Grandpa had a gentle spirit and was the kind of person you wanted to be around.  That's probably why he was a good salesman and business owner.  I've recently discovered a little streak of sales in myself (I sell organizing supplies if you didn't know) and hearing my parents say I had a little of Grandpa Ralph in me made me beam!  
• Loving Marriage - My Grandpa was what I'd call madly in love with my Grandma.  From the time he was 18 and she was 13, he knew she was the one.  They didn't get married until he was 23 and she was 18, so they were married for 57 years before he passed away.  I've heard all sorts of funny stories how crazy he was about her, and it showed even when they were grandparents like when he called her 'Babe' or left her love notes.  It's wonderful to have seen a relationship that didn't get stale with age and know that's possible in a marriage. 

I'm a bit tear-stained as I write this because I miss them all so much, but it is nice to relive these memories and see how the things I loved so much about these pillars in my life still resonate in me today.  Were these people perfect? of course not, but in these few ways and many more that I don't have time to share, they provided me a framework for a really fulfilling life.  I want to apply these qualities to my life and I sincerely hope that some day my kids and future grandkids will remember some of these same types of things about my life that will help guide their future.  Take the time to list out the things you loved most about the people who are gone from your life, but certainly not forgotten.  It will make your heart feel very full!

Even though we got an extra hour of sleep this weekend, there’s still only 24 hours a day.  Sometimes it’s just so overwhelming to try to fit everything into our lives!   There are many resources out there for time management, but I wanted to share 5 simple tips that have helped me improve how I manage my time.

1.  Track your time
If you’re anything like me, you are so busy that you feel like writing down what you’re doing is just another task you don’t really have time for.  But, if you commit to just one week, 7 days, of writing down what you’re doing in 15 minute increments, you will be amazed to see how much you actually accomplish in a day’s time!  If you’re really honest when you track your time, you will see more wasted time than you like, but you’ll also see how much time of your life is spent doing things you can’t NOT do – eating, sleeping, grooming.  When you know what time you have left after those kinds of non-negotiables, you will automatically feel more in control and more motivated not to waste those remaining hours.  Take the time to track your time!  Download this free printable to track your time this week.  It’s broken up into 4, 6 hour sections, so you can visually see how much of your time is really spent during the overnight hours (hopefully sleeping), morning, afternoon and evening/night.  You’ll be amazed how many hours are already spoken for, so that’s what makes being productive in those remaining hours so important!

2.  Time yourself
Once you’ve finished a week’s worth of time tracking, you will see patterns in your days.  There are things you do every day.  Some of those repetitive tasks will occur at the same time each day, but others could be mixed throughout your day.  In your time tracking phase, you were only recording in 15 minute increments, so you didn’t find out how much time it actually took you to empty the dishwasher or take a shower or drop off the kids at school.  Identify the things you do at least 3 times/week and then get your timer out!  Time yourself doing each of those tasks.  Don’t rush to beat the clock – just do them as you normally would and then keep a log of the tasks and the times they take.  If you want to be really scientific, do the tasks multiple times and then take an average time.  There are lots of time tracking apps out there - one free one I've used is Toggl.  What you can gain by timing yourself is a realistic expectation of what you can accomplish in a certain time-frame and the ability to insert quick tasks into random time openings in your day.  Have 10 minutes before you need to get in the car – well, now I know it only takes 6 minutes to empty the dishwasher – why not? ​

3.  Prioritize
Now that you know what you do, and how long those things take, you can now really prioritize.  Once those things are you’ll need to do a big bad brain dump!  Get out pen a paper or try the sticky note mind mapping that I tried in “Confessions of a List Maker.”  After everything is out of your head, begin categorizing all of the to-dos.  Don’t get hung up on your system, your goal is to have a master list of all of the things you will want to plug into the open slots in your days.  Last week’s post talked about how to figure out what to do next – take a few minutes to read that post.  If you set a focus for the year and related goals, take a look back at those to make sure the items that are on your list help you get where you wanted to go.  Now, review your list again and get rid of some things!  There are many things we think we need to do, that can either be done by someone else or just not done at all.  Ask yourself what would happen if you didn’t do X?  If you can live with the answer, cross it off!  Now prioritize what remains within each category so you have a next action for every category of your life.  Remember this process can be done on paper or in your favorite digital tool.

4.  Plan
Finally it’s time to put it all together.  First take a blank time tracker and plug in all of those everyday must dos for tomorrow– include everything that you have to do from meal prep to kid drop off to brushing your teeth – you now know exactly how much time each of those take.  Now take a look at your prioritized lists and choose what you’re going to fill in the blanks with.  Remember the importance of margin.  You can’t really make back to back meetings work.  What if you need to walk or drive to the meeting or even just take a bathroom break?  That means you’d have to leave one meeting early or arrive at the next meeting late.  Instead of booking yourself solid, give yourself some leeway.  I like to see at least 10 minutes between appointments.  If you have a task that you haven’t or couldn’t time, give your best estimate BUT add 25% to that estimate.  The worst thing that will happen is you finish early and you plug in another task (maybe one that you previously timed so you know that you can absolutely run to the pharmacy and back in 20 minutes.)  Fill up every box in your day’s time tracker even if those boxes say “rest” or “watch TV” or “family time.”  If you give purpose to each slot of your day, you are less likely to squander your time.

5.  Take shortcuts
Always be looking for ways to be more efficient!  Are there things that you can do in the background while you are doing other tasks? – like watching your favorite TV show while you fold laundry.  Be wary of attempting to truly multi-task because that usually leads to poor quality or longer efforts.  Read about the benefits of single tasking in a previous post.  Are there things that you just don’t need to do or can replace with something easier or quicker?  For instance, I believe with my whole heart that a damp  dishrag thrown in the dryer with a wrinkly shirt while I shower is much more efficient than ironing!  Do you really need to re-pot the flowers or is the plastic one they came in just as worthy of the position on your front steps?  Sometimes shortcuts do mean lowering our expectations – I’ve become pretty good at that – but others are just a smarter way of doing things.  Remember to enlist your family and/or be willing to pay for services that help save you time.     

I'd love to hear from you if you try these 5 steps and learn how they worked for you!  Please comment below or email me at info@mylifeinorder.com  If you want to read more about time management, one of my favorite authors who writes on the topic is Laura Vanderkam.  I read (and thoroughly enjoyed), I Know How She Does It: How Successful Women Make the Most of Their Time and have her latest book, Off the Clock:  Feel Less Busy While Getting More Done, on my bookshelf ready to read!  
 

​“I have so much to do, that sometimes I don’t even know where to start!”  How many times of you heard yourself say those words?  I know that’s how I’ve been feeling the past week.  When we have unexpected things happen, our responsibilities don’t just stop.  Things keep piling up and eventually there is this big bunch of things to do and you almost feel paralyzed because you feel like no one thing is going to make a big enough dent to actually be considered a priority.  In order to know where to start, you have to know ALL that there is to do.  That’s why it’s important to have everything that you need to do in one place, and then you can more easily decide what needs to be done first.  

​I like digital tools, but before technology can help, I have to know what I’m going to put in that tool and how I am going to structure it.  I was feeling really out of control last week, so I did what always calms me down – got out a pencil and paper and start dumping my brain onto the page.  If you try this, don’t worry about it being pretty or cohesive or anyone else understanding what in the world you’re writing.  It’s so freeing to get what’s in your head onto paper, and then you can actually SEE all the things you need to do.   Unless you are super-human, it’s nearly impossible to figure out what to do and when if everything you have to do is floating around in your head all at once.

​If you’ve read the book The One Thing by Gary Keller, you know that he says there is always one thing that’s more important than everything else at that very moment in time.  Sometimes it’s so hard to figure out what that one thing is and it’s so much easier to just do busywork and make yourself feel like you’re being productive when in fact you’re doing nothing!  A good example of this is spending the entire day working out of your email inbox just responding to messages and taking care of brief little tasks, and then putting other, bigger projects aside for “later”.  If you do that type of triage all the time, “later” never comes, and those big tasks begin to create an overwhelming pile.

​I’m trying to unbury myself and am doing this in my personal life using Trello.  It’s a free app that I use on my laptop and on my iPhone where you can create different teams (which I’m using as areas of my life) and within those teams, you can create as many project boards as you want.  These are kind of like digital bulletin boards where you can create lists and tasks.  Trello gives you a visual representation of all of your to-dos and lets you drag and drop them where they go.  I took my handwritten notes and figured out there were several areas of my life:  Me, Family/Friends, Household, Volunteer, Side Hustles, and Work.  I use a different task management system at work called Nozbe.  Some people like to use the same system at home and at work, but I prefer to keep them separate, so I decided for these purposes to nix the work category in my Trello app. 

I started getting so excited about my new system that I spent a lot of time designing it, thinking, “should I have a separate areas for my blog, piano lessons and Clever Container sales or should they all be in one area called Side Hustles?”    I realized I was going down a dangerous path spending more time designing a system than using it!  I’m giving myself permission to start where I’m at and improve as I go.  That’s one of the things I like about Trello – it’s really easy to drag and drop tasks to different lists, put things in different order, and move boards to different teams.
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Once you get going and have all your responsibilities out of your head and in your chosen system, give yourself time to review all tasks and decide what is the “one thing” is that will move you forward, and what the next one is, and the next, etc.  Consider assigning due dates and reminders.  If you have projects that you repeat, create a template so you can copy and repeat what works best for you.  Don’t worry about your system being perfect – an imperfect system is better than no system at all!

 Life isn’t always fair or fun.  It can be full of fear, sadness, and unknowns.  We often mess up, are imperfect and make poor decisions.  Lately, I’ve felt like there are so many bad things all around me - bad things affecting strangers, my friends, and my family.  Sometimes, it’s easy to be so focused on the bad, that we begin to expect it.  I even verbalized this to a friend, “all this bad stuff is happening all around me, and it’s just a matter of time ‘til it happens to me.”  I sometimes almost feel guilty (rather than grateful) when bad things aren’t happening to me. 
 
I was right in the middle of this spiral of sadness and expectation of disaster when I got a text from my cousin, Darra.  A few months ago, I'd ask her to send me the next funny thing that happened to her and I'd include it in an installment of 'My Life In Laughter.'  These are posts that include audio recordings of me telling a funny story and laughing at myself.  I recorded a few gems including Cozy Shirt, Gold Saturn, Drive Through Judgment and A Cat Litter Incident.  I did this, not because I think I'm so hilarious, but because I truly believe in the power of laughter - especially when we can laugh at ourselves!  I knew I'd soon run out of funny material, and that Darra was a great storyteller that had funny stuff happen to her all the time (she was actually on Candid Camera once!)

Well, she came through at exactly the right time!  She made me laugh so hard listening to her tell this story of travelling alone to her grandmothers’ funeral.  Doesn’t sound very funny, does it?  But it just showed me that God gave us laughter even in the midst of sadness.  And to get a little deep and metaphorical – the title of her recording “Travelling Solo” – made me think how we really aren’t alone, and giving ourselves permission to laugh – especially when we share it with others – is good therapy to get through dark times.  When we are sad, scared, angry and our lives feel chaotic, maybe a little laughter shared with those around us can bring us a joy.  Take a listen to Darra’s ability to laugh, even in one of the saddest times.  Don’t feel bad laughing with her – it helps us all to heal!

Last winter, my kids had a magical three days when my husband’s and my flu-like symptoms overlapped.  It’s not that they wished us poor health, but they did enjoy our lack of enforcement of the no TV during the school week rule.  We were too tired to care, so we all got too much screen time for those few days.
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When are bodies are worn down, our regular routine usually goes out the window.  It’s so easy to get behind while we are sick – dishes pile up all over the house, hampers overflow, tissues cover end tables and the floor next to trashcans, and stacks of mail begin to topple.

The best way to keep it together when we don’t feel good is to create systems to follow while we are healthy so that we can afford to take a few days off when we're sick without things falling apart.  If you do these seven simple things on a regular basis, your house will be manageable, and when you get sick, you’ll have a little latitude to slack off.  

1. Hang up jackets and put bags in a designated area when you come inside.
2. Have an inbox for all of your paper, and process it regularly.
3. Immediately put away your clothes, shoes, and jewelry when you take them off.
4. Create a laundry system that your family sticks to.
5. Put dishes straight in the dishwasher. Run and empty the dishwasher regularly.
6. Clear surfaces when you leave an area.
7. Throw away or give away things you don’t use or need.

When you are under the weather, give yourself permission to take a few shortcuts to keep your house from becoming a disaster zone. 

• Keep a few cans of soup in your cabinet so that when you get sick, you can cook an easy meal.  It’s also a good idea to keep a couple of bottles of Gatorade or lemon-lime soda on hand in case of upset stomach.  As soon as you use any of these items add them to your shopping list.  You don’t want to be home sick with nothing easy to fix.
• Use paper plates, flatware, bowls, and napkins so you don’t have to worry about doing dishes.  If you do use regular dishes or cookware, put them straight in the dishwasher.  If you use a reusable cup, consider using a plastic straw that you replace periodically or use disposable water bottles.
• Put all incoming paper into a designated inbox (ideally the same system you normally use) and give yourself the ok to skip a week of processing it. (Check out this previous post about wrangling your paper!)

• Create a “sick bin” to corral all of your supplies in like tissues, chap stick, medicine, cough drops, a bottle of water, and your phone.  It’s easy to misplace things when you’re not feeling well, so keeping them all in the same bin that you can carry with you from the couch to the bedside table will help.  A bin with a handle is a nice touch! You can also use a small gift bag as a portable tissue trashcan.
• If you still have to go to work when you’re sick, bathe and wash your hair at night so you can sleep in as long as possible the next morning.  Tame the crazy hair the next morning with a spritz bottle and quick blast with the hair dryer.

​The best thing you can do when you’re sick is rest so that you can get back to yourself as soon as possible.  Don’t feel bad asking for help while you are sick or even when it’s time to play catch up.  You’ll feel like a rock star when you are healthy again and you realize that your house didn’t fall down around you!

Staying productive is hard.  If we only had to worry about our own priorities, it would be a little easier, but in real life, we have requests and expectations coming at us from all directions.  The biggest avenue for those outer expectations is our inboxes.  Most of us have at least two inboxes – a physical paper inbox and an email inbox.  I wrote about how to wrangle your paper in a previous post, and today, I want to start a series on how to manage your email inbox.

Even though email is dying a little because of other messaging apps, it is still prevalent especially in professional settings.  Most of us have at least two email addresses – a personal and a work address and receive many messages each day.  At my day job, I easily get over 100 emails every day, and at home, I may get 30 or so.  These add up very fast, and if you don’t know how to efficiently triage your messages, you can quickly get buried and miss the important messages because they nearly disappear amongst all the junk. ​

I use Microsoft Outlook at my day job and Gmail for personal and My Life In Order email.  These platforms are very different, but both common, so I will be using them as examples in this series.  Regardless of what email platform you use, the overarching principles of email organization are the same.  Email used to be a great, time-saving tool to replace handwritten or typed memos that had to be circulated through the office, but it’s turned into an invasive nuisance that the Washington Post reports takes the average white-collar worker a little over 4 hours each day to deal with.  This equates to 20.5 hours each week and more than 1,000 hours each year!  Even with the quantity of email we get, it doesn’t need to take up half of our work day, and by implementing some of these ideas, you should be able to dramatically improve your email efficiency!
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Process your email, don’t read and re-read it
You should do 1 of 4 things with new emails - delete, file, do, or move to a task management system (we will talk about the details of this in a later post.)  Don’t just read the your messages and leave them in your inbox to come back to later because you will end up either losing it, forgetting about it or you will re-read it over and over, which is just wasting your time!  If a message is obvious junk or something you are sure you will never need again, just delete it!  If it’s reference information that you may need later, file it.  If it’s actionable use the 2 minute rule that David Allen talks about in his book, Getting Things Done.  If the action can be completed in 2 minutes or less, just do it.  If it will take longer than 2 minutes or can’t be done until you have additional information, add the action to a task management system and then either file or delete the message.
 
Unsubscribe generously
Over time, we all sign up for various newsletters either on purpose or inadvertently.  Instead of continuing to delete them each time they are delivered, take an extra few seconds and unsubscribe from the ones you are no longer interested in.  Every email marketing platform (that’s legit) has a little button somewhere at the bottom of the message that you can click on to get off of their email list.  There are also some services that will help you get unenrolled from unwanted lists.  Of course those of us who have an email newsletter don’t want you to unsubscribe (it hurts our feelings) but I care more about your productivity than my email list, so do what you’ve got to do!  If you’re too scared to make that drastic of a decision to never receive a particular newsletter again, you can use the next tip instead.
 
Also be sure to report spam so it can be blocked for the future.  Most email platforms have a mechanism to report spam.  If you get rid of most of the junk, you'll spend less time sifting through all the things that don't matter for the few messages that do.

 
Rules, Rules, Rules
If you aren’t using rules in your email, pay attention!  You can set up a variety of rules in whichever email platform you use.  This allows you to never touch a message and direct it to go right to a particular folder, to be marked as read, or even go straight to the trash.  For those newsletters you were too scared to unsubscribe from, you could set up a rule to move them to a special folder.  Set a reminder on your calendar for a couple of months in the future to look at that folder.  If you haven't missed anything important, you may feel comfortable completely unsubscribing.

You can also create rules for message you send.  I have a rule so that if I put myself in the BCC line, it moves that message to a folder I have named “Waiting.”  This allows me to remember to follow up if I don’t receive an answer to my message.  You can also set up conditional formatting so messages from your boss are displayed in a different color.  In the next installment of this series, I’ll show you some examples!
 
Shortcuts
It’s ok to be a little lazy with your email!  There are many ways that you can cut corners.  In Outlook, my favorite is to set up quick steps to use just one click to complete an action like moving a message to a folder, creating an appointment with the contents of the message in the body, forward a message to a particular address, or create a new message to a particular address.  Learn how to drag and drop messages either to a folder or to your calendar.  Explore the menu that is displayed when you right click on a message.  Add commonly used folders to a favorites area to save a few seconds each time you want to access it.  Next time, I will provide some demos of how to set some of these shortcuts up.
 
Simplify your folders
I used to have an elaborate foldering system with folders for each project with sub folders and sub-sub folders, but what I realized a few years ago was I was spending so much time deciding where to folder things and nearly that same amount of time selecting the folder to look in when I wanted to find the message later that it just didn’t make sense.  Now, I have only one folder per year with a sub-folder for every month.  Anything I don’t delete goes in the folder for the month it was received.  All email platforms have search functions, and the two I use – Gmail and Outlook – have excellent search tools, so you can find any message without having to know what folder you put it in.  Some people like to keep EVERYTHING in their inbox and just search for what they need.  Now, that makes me a little anxious, so I prefer to folder when I’m done.  I look at my email inbox like my home mailbox.  It’s just for new stuff that comes in, and just like I take in my physical mail every day or so, I like to keep my email inbox emptied. 
 
 
 Next Time
In the second part of this series, I will have some demos to show you how to implement some of these tricks, but I need your help.  I could use several of you to email my demo email address with various subject lines. Email mylifeinorderdemo@gmail.com to help me create a good tutorial for you!

Sources

“Analysis | How Many Hours of Your Life Have You Wasted on Work Email? Try Our Depressing Calculator.” The Washington Post, WP Company, 3 Oct. 2016, www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2016/10/03/how-many-hours-of-your-life-have-you-wasted-on-work-email-try-our-depressing-calculator/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.bd59896565f2.

Ansaldo, Michael. “3 Tools That Easily Unsubscribe You from Emails.” PCWorld, PCWorld, 22 Mar. 2017, www.pcworld.com/article/3181014/software/3-tools-for-easily-unsubscribing-to-emails.html.