Over the years, I’ve broken many New Year’s Resolutions by mid-February. There are also many resolutions I've kept, and most of those have all had something in common - they weren’t centered on me, but instead were focused on others. Once I began to make some of my annual resolutions externally focused, I was able to create habits rather than just a temporary routine. ​

An example of an externally focused goal was the resolution to stop thinking so hard about if I should help someone. I decided that if the opportunity presented itself, and I had the ability or means to help someone, I would just do it instead of mulling it over and delaying a decision. Though this was initially focused on others, the benefit to me was great as well - I wasted less time overthinking and learned to confident in my decision making skills.

I’ve also made goals about investing in relationships, and though that benefits me as well, I’m more likely to keep up with it because I feel like I’m letting someone else down if I don’t follow through. Sometimes it’s easier to keep promises to others than it is yourself.

In Gretchen Rubin's book, The Four Tendencies, she explains that everyone responds to expectations differently. She identified four main personality types based on how they respond to inner and outer expectations. Upholders can easily meet outer and inner expectations; Obligers have trouble meeting inner expectations but thrive with outer expectation; Questioners need to ask questions to help make sense out of outer expectations, thus turning them into inner expectations; and Rebels don’t respond to inner or outer expectation - they kind of do what they want when they want. Take the quiz to see what your primary tendency is.

Even if your goal is 100% about you, outward expectations can still help you be successful if you find an accountability partner or join an accountability group. Research shows an increased chance for success when you announce your goal and report on progress regularly. It’s a little harder to let others down than it is to let yourself down - that’s unfortunate, but often true.

But what about a goal that is so private that you don’t want to share it with anyone? Try thinking about your “future self.” This allows you to look from the outside in and think of your future self as almost a different person. You can make a promise to her that you don’t want to break. I love the concept of the future self for goal setting but also for short term motivation. For example we all know it makes sense to prepare the night before to make your mornings go more smoothly, but yet many of us don’t do the prep work regularly. Try thinking about what you owe your future self and how she will feel when you make preparations that will benefit her. This can be for things as insignificant as peeling your orange at home instead of putting whole orange in your lunch bag. Think, “Future me will be so happy she doesn’t have to make a mess peeling this orange at her desk tomorrow when she’s hungry for a snack, and it will help her eat healthier too!”

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The future self concept gets really, really interesting even beyond the ways we can motivate ourselves in the short term. Harvard psychologist, Dan Gilbert, explains in his TED talk the difference between the ease of remembering and the difficulty of imagining. Most of us can remember who we were but it’s harder to imagine who we are going to be in the future. Gilbert says, “Then we mistakenly think that because it’s hard to imagine, it’s not likely to happen.” You’ve heard the phrase, ‘I can’t imagine that’ and usually this is because of the poor imagination of the person saying it, not the unlikelihood that it will actually happen. That excites me - my future truly can be beyond my imagination!

Whether you become accountable to your future self, to your best friend, or to a group of strangers, that accountability will help you create a long term promise that will form your behavior and decisions in the present and the future - and the beauty is the past doesn’t have to be a limiting factor.   Goals could be in the form of an educational or professional pursuit, a healthy lifestyle, learning a new skill or hobby, or even focusing on developing or improving a relationship. It might be time to rethink this year's resolutions and determine how to make them outwardly focused - even if that focus is yourself in the future! 

Sources

Photo by Austin Kehmeier on Unsplash

Rubin, Gretchen. The Four Tendencies. Random House USA, 2018.

Wissman, Barrett. “An Accountability Partner Makes You Vastly More Likely to Succeed.” Entrepreneur, 20 Mar. 2018, www.entrepreneur.com/article/310062.

​Photo by Taylor Smith on Unsplash

Gilbert, Dan. “The Psychology of Your Future Self.” TED, Mar. 2014, www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_the_psychology_of_your_future_self.

The dictionary definition of productivity is “the effectiveness of effort as measured in terms of the rate of output per unit of input.”  Basically, it means getting the most done in the least amount of time possible. It is tempting to rush to get things done so we can appear productive, but if you do things fast, you may not do them well.

In my eyes, true productivity is getting as much of the right things done — and done well — in the right amount of time while giving yourself grace and time to enjoy your life!  “Right” is a subjective word that varies from person to person.  The “right” things should be tasks that move you forward toward your goal, and the “right” amount of time is the minimum amount of time that it should take to plan, complete prerequisites, and complete the task.

Many times busywork takes most of our time, but doesn’t move the needle.  Email is something that many of us who work in an office setting spend WAY too much time on, but it doesn’t propel us forward.  Unfortunately, tasks like email still need to be done, but they need to be seen as secondary to our true objectives. Developing a system for secondary tasks is crucial so they don’t pile up and impede our progress toward our end goal.  For ideas on how to control your email, read my previous posts on Email Organization and How to Clear Your Inbox After Vacation.

Even when you’ve created a system to handle your secondary tasks, there is still another key to becoming truly productive — planning!   Brian Tracy, author of Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time, says, “Every minute you spend in planning saves 10 minutes in execution; this gives you a 1,000 percent Return on Energy!”  I’ve recently noticed a metaphor in my life that shows how a lack of planning can make a task take longer and have a lower quality outcome.  

I like to bake, but I don’t like to wait for the oven to preheat, so usually, I just turn on the oven when I think of it and as soon as I’m ready, shove the cookies or cake in the oven.  It’s not until several minutes AFTER I’ve put the food into the oven that I hear the beep indicating that it is up to temperature. Chef David James Robinson from Learn How to Cook (and Eat Your Mistakes) explains the importance of preheating, “It’s like stretching before a run, or warming up the car, or letting the water get hot before you shower.  Food cooks unevenly in a cold oven. Your poor dish starts in a cold oven, then it has to deal with a warm oven, then finally a hot oven, it doesn’t know what to do!”

After I’ve put food into a only partially preheated oven, I wait for my food to bake. At the end of the cooking time from the recipe, I check if my food is done.  It’s usually not, so I then have to check on it every couple of minutes until it’s finally firm in the center. The total baking time is longer than the recipe called for because it wasn’t baking at the proper temperature from the beginning. 

A Cook’s Illustrated article told of an experiment comparing preheated and non-preheated ovens.  Cookies that were added to non-preheated oven spread out much more than ones in preheated oven because they were inserted before the oven was at the proper temperature for the dough to set.  Cakes put in too soon came out with crispy or even burnt on the edges by the time the center was cooked through.  

Think about how this applies in your own life.  If you just start without any planning, the total project can end up taking longer because you may have to start over or change course in the middle.  You may not realize all of the supplies or resources you need to be successful so that causes you to pause in the middle and possibly lose your place or your momentum.  In addition to taking longer, the quality of your outcome may suffer because you were unprepared or trying to complete a project without the correct tools.  

Taking the time to “preheat” can help you to recognize potential obstacles and make a plan to overcome them before they become barriers.  You can also avoid mistakes that could require you to start over or repeat work. Additionally it can allow you to work at a steady pace instead of a frenzy at the end when you realize that a lack of planning caused a delay that threatens your ability to meet the deadline.
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Next time I bake cookies, I am going to preheat that oven just like next time I have a project, I’m going to take the time to plan to save myself time and headaches in the end!  What about you?

Sources
​Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

Robinson, David James. “Do I Really Have to Preheat the Oven?” Learn How To Cook (and Eat Your Mistakes), 2 Feb. 2011, eatyourmistakes.com/in-the-kitchen/do-i-really-have-to-preheat-the-oven.
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“Why You Should Fully Preheat Before Baking.” Cook's Illustrated, www.cooksillustrated.com/how_tos/10431-why-you-should-fully-preheat-before-baking.

It's that time of year when most of us are trying to stick to our New Year's resolutions.  Chances are that if you're a woman and you made a resolution, it had something to do with eating healthy or losing weight.  According to an article on inc.com 71% of people who made a New Year's resolution focused on diet or eating healthy. 

Only about 8% of people who vow to make a change in their habits for the New Year are actually successful, so how can you be one of those who meet your goal?  There are many factors in meeting a goal including setting a S.M.A.R.T. goal, creating milestones, monitoring progress, developing new habits, finding someone or a group to encourage you and keep you accountable, and avoiding obstacles.

Today I'm going to focus on two of these factors - developing new habits and avoiding obstacles - and how organizing your refrigerator can help you accomplish your resolution to eat healthier!  ​

Avoiding Obstacles
One way to avoid obstacles is to remove temptation.  When you give into temptation, you might say you have no willpower.  Give yourself a little more credit - it's not that you have NO willpower, it's that willpower is a limited resource.  An American Psychological Association article suggests that willpower is similar to a muscle that can get fatigued from overuse.  We use willpower all day every day whether it's forcing ourselves not to daydream when we should be paying attention in a meeting, not blurting out what we are really thinking when it would be inappropriate, or choosing an apple over a chocolate chip cookie.  All of these instances take energy, and the more we can remove temptation, the less work it is to make good choices throughout our days.

In your refrigerator, you can easily remove temptation by cleaning out the items that are unhealthy or not on your eating plan.  Well....this is easy if you live alone and no one else has to eat out of your fridge!  But even if you have a family not on the healthy eating train, you can still make this work (especially if you are the one who buys the groceries!)  First, eliminate the items that no one needs.  Examples could be sugary drinks, desserts, condiments high in sugar, etc.  Then designate a few areas of the fridge that you are "allowed" to eat from.  Guard these areas and only allow foods that you should eat to go in them.  In my fridge, I eat mostly out of the crisper drawers and the bottom shelf.  This concept applies to your pantry as well.

The second way to avoid obstacles is to make it more convenient to make good choices.  Rearrange your fridge so good foods are easy to access.  Consider a small lazy susan to help you get to items in the back of the shelves more easily.  Remove packaging and prewash and cut fruits and veggies.  Having clean, cut strawberries makes it much easier to choose them over a packaged treat when you don't have to spend extra time cleaning and cutting them when you are hungry!

Group foods that you use to together.  For example if you make smoothies for breakfast like I do, put all of your refrigerated ingredients together.  Use bins to make it even easier on yourself so you can simply pull out one bin, put it on the counter, and have everything you need for your breakfast.  I prefer clear bins so you can stack items, but still see what is in the bottom.   If you make a lot of salads, you could use one crisper drawer for all of your cleaned, cut up veggies and proteins.

Developing New Habits
Another critical component to achieving a goal is developing new habits.  Don't think of a habit as something big like "eating healthy," but rather the tiny things you do that lead to milestones along your journey toward your goal.  When it comes to a healthy lifestyle, little habits related to your refrigerator can be very helpful.
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Some of these habits do double duty and also help you avoid obstacles - win, win!  

• Go through leftovers and produce at least weekly and throw out the old BEFORE you go to the grocery store so you know what you need and have room for.
• Meal plan BEFORE going to the grocery store by planning around what you already have in your refrigerator or freezer.
• Clean fruits and veggies (and cut up if necessary) before putting them away.  Add a paper towel to the container you store them in to absorb the moisture from washing.  You can change the paper towel every few days to help your food stay fresher longer.  I even do this in bags of pre-washed salads.  Don't be afraid to store fruits in the plastic, clam-shell containers they come in.  Just wash them well, put a paper towel on the bottom, and add clean fruit.  I like to write CLEAN in sharpie on the top to remind myself these are good to go!
• Cut produce to make it fit in your space.  For example, I often cut the tops off of celery if it is too long to fit in my crisper drawer.  It's annoying to fight with the drawer, and if it's not easy to access, you may avoid eating the good food it contains!
• Remove packaging from foods before putting them in fridge.  If items are more convenient when they stay in a box, tear off the flaps for easy access.  Recycle any cardboard packaging.
• FIFO - first in first out.  When you are down to your last yogurt and buy a new package, make sure to put the oldest one at the front so you don't let it spoil.  Using all that you buy keeps your grocery bill down and removes the obstacle of "healthy eating is too expensive."  I also use this concept for eggs if I have more than one carton, newest ones go under the oldest ones.  You can stack several egg cartons and use vertical space on your shelf!

• Keep like items in bins (preferably clear ones) so it's easy to put away and find items.  When you use bins, you can better use all the space in the back of your fridge because you can just pull out the front bin to access what's in back instead of having to juggle items while you try to access the back.
• Add items to a grocery list when you notice them getting low.  If you wait until you're completely out of something, it's very easy to revert to unhealthy eating when you don't have a good option in front of you.  I use a Google Home speaker so it's really easy to just say aloud what needs added, and then I can access the list on my phone at the store.
• Keep clips near the fridge so it's easy to securely fasten partially used items.  This helps food stay fresher longer.  I use freebie chip clips and even cheap wooden clothes pins to secure bags of pre-washed salads.
• Use stackable containers for leftovers.  I love my stackable Rubbermaid containers with lids that fit multiple sizes of containers and stack securely.  They are also clear so I can see what's in them.  Stacking items uses the vertical space on your shelves and allows you to fit more healthy food in your fridge.
• Label foods that are in solid colored containers or ones you want to make sure you know how old they are.  I like a label maker, but a piece of masking tape and a sharpie work just as well!

 
If you can get into these refrigerator related habits, you will have a better chance of being successful with your healthy eating plan!

If you would like to increase your chances of meeting your goals by joining other women for encouragement and accountability, consider joining the Achieve! program.  Registrations for the February/March 2020 session are still open! 

Sources
Economy, Peter. “10 Top New Year's Resolutions for Success and Happiness in 2019.” Inc.com, Inc., 1 Jan. 2019, www.inc.com/peter-economy/10-top-new-years-resolutions-for-success-happiness-in-2019.html
Weir, Kirsten. “What You Need to Know about Willpower: The Psychological Science of Self-Control.” American Psychological Association, American Psychological Association, 2012, www.apa.org/helpcenter/willpower.

It's the first full week of the new year, and I'm on-fire motivated to meet my goals.  I'm so darn excited about what I want to achieve this year that I want it all to happen right now!  I was reminded yesterday that just because I haven't seen immediate progress on my first goal of the year, doesn't mean I'm a failure or that I'm not going to achieve it.  Thank goodness for good friends who can see things from the outside looking in and remind me of that!  This got me thinking about what strategies I could employ this year to not only be successful at achieving my goals, but also to give myself grace along the way.  Here's what I've come up with:

Give Yourself Time
​The T in a SMART goal stands for time bound, and I need to remember that even though I may be able to complete each of my individual goals in 6 weeks, I can't do them all in the SAME 6 weeks.  I want to keep that fire in my belly, so I need to be careful not to let it burn to quickly and extinguish that flame.

Recognize All Achievements
Even small victories are worth celebrating.  Though I may not have gotten 100 people to attend my webinar on the first day it was launched, I did have one person who watched!  That's something to be proud of, learn from, and build upon.

​Keeping a "done" list is a great way to remind yourself of how far you've come and how much you've accomplished.  A done list is the to-do list's counterpart.  You can still keep your traditional to-do list, but start a list of everything you've completed.  This will give you a sense of accomplishment, and it tends to create momentum.

Walk Away
Sometimes when you get head-down into a goal, you become so focused on a certain outcome that you don' take time for your other responsibilities or relationships.  Laser-focus is a great thing, but not at the expense of what matters most to us.  Walking away from your goal even for an hour or two and spending that time doing something productive or interacting with your family or friends will provide you a better perspective and a refreshed sense of purpose when you get back to it.

Another option is to set certain time frames that you dedicate to your goal so that during other parts of the day or week you don't feel like you're losing precious time. This can also set expectations with your family and friend so they aren't upset when you are busy working toward your goal.

Tell Someone
This is the best (and easiest) tip by far — get a mentor, a sounding board, or better yet join a group of them!  Achieving your goals increases by 95% when you check in regularly with someone about your goal.  This person or group can keep you accountable no only for working toward your goal, but for being realistic with your own expectations.  If you're looking for a group like this to encourage you and keep you accountable, check out the Achieve! program that launches in February.
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I can't believe this is my 100th blog post!  I looked through what I call my "blog log" which lists the date, title, and number of every one I've written, and I have to say— I'm really proud of what is included in these past 99 posts.  When I say proud,  I don't mean boastful, but rather a feeling of deep satisfaction that resulted from hard work, honesty, and perseverance.  It has been important to me from the start that I be transparent and not claim to know all the answers.  I'm in this with you — I have many of the same struggles as you, and I'm continuing to figure out how striving to live a life in order can help me gain and maintain control.  I truly believe that productivity and organization is not only for those born naturally orderly, but that it gives the rest of us the freedom and space to really enjoy our lives.

I asked my oldest son, who is nearly an all-knowing teenager, what I should write about for my 100th post.  He gave me some sage advice, "write about how you stuck with your blog all of this time."  I thought his suggestion was brilliant!  Yes, that's something I want to explore — stick-to-itiveness!

I kind of went down a rabbit hole researching what this word meant.  I went from stick-to-itiveness to tenacity to tenacious to "persistent in maintaining, adhering to, or seeking something valued or desired."  What I realized was the reason it was easy for me to stick with my blog is because I value it! 

Many of us were required to read What Color is Your Parachute by Richard N. Bolles in a college job readiness course.  This book explored how to determine what job is right for you and how to get it.  No matter if you are looking for a job, a hobby, or just your next fun project, the principles are the same — you should search for your key passions and strive to use them daily.  The more passionate you are about something, the more likely you are to see it through, and be happy along the way. 

A pioneer in this type of strengths philosophy was Bernard Haldane, an English doctor who moved to New York in the 1940's.  After realizing he didn't meet the U.S. requirements for working in medicine, he began helping veterans recognize their own strengths and transferable skills from their military experience.  He encouraged them use those skills to rejoin the non-military workforce after returning from the war.  Haldane's work inspired others in the field and led to many books and programs encouraging people to determine not only what they were good at, but what they loved doing and would provide them with feelings of pride for having accomplished.  He was clear that this didn't mean it was all sunshine and rainbows along the way!  There will always be parts of a task or a process that one will dislike or cause them to work outside of their comfort zone, but he proposed that both the journey AND the outcome should provide satisfaction.

Starting My Life In Order came out of something I was passionate about — getting my own life in order and helping others do the same.  It consisted of things I enjoy — writing, technology, connecting and helping others achieve their goals.  I have one little secret that has helped me stick with it to this milestone 100th post — I give myself a LOT of grace!  I try to remember that this venture is supposed to be fun.  Though I feel a responsibility to publish blog posts regularly and be active on social media, I also give myself a pass sometimes.   The world won't end if my blog post is a little late or if I am MIA on Facebook for a day.  By giving myself permission not to be perfect all the time, it is much easier to keep on keeping on!  If I felt like if I didn't publish a post every 7 days that I was a failure, I would have quit a long time ago!  Imagine what you can accomplish if you can find that thing you are great at, fuels your fire, AND can give yourself some grace!  

You may be thinking, "Yeah, this all makes sense —if I love something I can stick with it, but what if I don't love it or just downright dislike it?"  Learning to persevere even when it's not fun is where real success begins!   Start by asking yourself the who, what, when, where, why questions.
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I've been a daydreamer as long as I can remember.  As a child I would make up what I called "stories in my head." They weren't wild or unrealistic, but instead, they were detailed accounts of things that could actually happen.  When I was very young it could be about a toy I wanted, and I'd daydream about how I might earn enough money to buy it or how someone might give it to me as a gift.  When I was a little older, and I liked a boy, I would daydream about how we might be in the same place at the same time.  ​

As the holidays approach, you've likely been hearing more about gratitude than ever before.  The research is abundant about how gratitude affects not only our attitude, but also our relationship with others and our mental, physical and spiritual health.

A Harvard Health Publishing article explains what happens when people begin to acknowledge the good things in their lives.  "In the process, people usually recognize that the source of that goodness lies at least partially outside themselves. As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals — whether to other people, nature, or a higher power."

Neuroscientists at USC have studied the impact of gratitude on the brain and have learned that there are actually links between being grateful and our brain structure.  They have found that gratitude can prompt the creation of brain chemicals that increase feelings of  being connected to others.  It is important to note that the changes in the brain, and consequently in our lives, don't happen immediately, but actually accrue over time.  This is actually kind of exciting because once you learn to incorporate gratitude into your routine, it becomes an automatic mood booster that is only going to grow as time goes on.

Practicing gratitude doesn't only benefit ourselves, but there is research to suggest that grateful people are more likely to be generous and altruistic.  University of Oregon neuroscientist, Christina Karns, researched the connection between gratitude and generosity and learned that they are both controlled by the same area of the brain.  Think about the snowball effect this has - the more grateful you are, the more likely you are to be giving, which could provide reason for others to be more grateful and give.  This cycle could go on and on!

I'm going to be honest — I don't always love my two hour per day commute, but since that's how long it takes me to get to and from my job, I have learned to make the best of it.  Those hours in the car are where I really zoned in on my love of productivity, cultivated some important relationships, did a lot of deep thinking, came up with some great ideas (like starting this blog), was entertained, learned new things, and managed my busy schedule.

​How do I accomplish all of those things while driving?  Very safely, I assure you!  There are 5 key ways I have found make a commute more productive.  

1. Podcasts and Audio Books
When I first began my long commute, I realized that I'd essentially lost two hours of my day getting to and from work.  I wanted to find a way to change those two hours a day from a source of frustration to at least partially productive.  I started with an audio book that I only allowed myself to listen to on my commute.  What this did was actually make me look forward to the drive so I could find out what happened next!  I also used a Bible app and, instead of reading Bible passages daily, I listened to them.  

Then one day, it all changed when I searched "productivity" on the Podcast app on my iPhone.  I discovered The Productive Woman podcast, and I was hooked!  I devoured all the back episodes and learned about other productivity and organization podcasts that I could enjoy like Organize 365, The Productivityist, and Beyond the To Do List.  Soon I was branching out to other podcasts about parenthood (The Longest Shortest Time), happiness (Happier with Gretchen Rubin) and eventually even true crime (Serial, Crime Junkie) and fictional stories (Limetown).  There are so many more great podcasts out there on every topic.  You can be entertained, educated or inspired every day on your way to work!

3.  Voice Commands
Between my job and my personal life, there are always emails and text messages to return.  I rely on my iPhone and Siri to help me get some of those taken care of on the road.  "Hey Siri" helps me listen to emails or text messages and send replies.   I typically only send voice to text messages to people I know can overlook typos, though!  

I also use voice commands to create reminders on my Reminders app.  This is likely the most helpful of all these tips.  When I think of something I need to do at home that evening, I just say, "Hey Siri remind me at 8 p.m. to ..."  I can also create appointments on my calendar just as easily.  

 4. Talking
Hands free phone calls are a great use of time in the car.  I talk to my mom almost everyday on my way to work.    It's a routine that we've developed, and it makes the time on the road go quicker and be meaningful.  I also try to catch up with other friends and family on the way home in the evenings.

I use the app, Voxer, to leave voice messages for friends that aren't available at the same time I'm available to talk because of time zones or different schedules.  The ability to talk and listen when I have time has allowed me to be more connected and develop stronger relationships.  Even though we aren't talking in real time, we are talking.  I look forward to having messages to listen to, and it's great to be able to talk to someone when I need to talk — even if they aren't available.  I also use group Voxer messages when I want to tell two or more people the same thing at the same time, but they aren't both available. 

In addition to having meaningful conversations, I also use this time for making mundane phone calls like making appointments — especially ones where you may have to be on hold for a while.  After making an appointment, I just use voice to text to add it to my calendar, and viola! I've marked a task off my to do list!

More Tips
When you spend so many hours in the car, you start to develop habits or hacks to make it more tolerable.  Here are just a few more of my tips.

• ​Keep leftover fast food napkins in your glove box in a cheap zippered pencil pouch.  They are perfect for eating in the car or as a tissue in an emergency, and the pouch keeps them clean and easily accessible
• Keep a dishtowel in your vehicle to wipe up spills, cover your lap when you have to grab a meal in the car, need to wipe the inside of a foggy windshield, or even want to keep your steering wheel from getting too hot on a summer day.
• Keep a few extra straws, plastic forks and spoons in your glove box for times when your drive through meal doesn't come with what you need.
• Keep an extra hat and gloves (or a few pair) in your console for when you forget yours on the way out of the house on a busy morning.
• Keep a small pad of paper and a pen easily accessible
• Keep a few snacks in your console for traffic jams.  I try to think of my future self every once in a while and stash a few pieces of chocolate so when I find them later I'll be excited!
• Keep gum, tissues, dental floss, and chap stick in your vehicle for when you need them!
• Keep an emergency kit in your vehicle in case of a flat tire, or getting stuck in the snow.
• Always keep a phone charger in the vehicle!

As my boys grow out of the little kid stage, I have become more and more aware of how fleeting childhood is.  I have to admit it makes me kind of sad to think about my little boys growing into young men.  The things that use to seem annoying  — silly cartoons, endless games of pretend, so many Legos®, little socks without mates, countless drawings covering the refrigerator, or lots of toys lining the side of the bathtub — now, I long for more!  

​I'm realizing now that what matters most to me is time together, shared experiences, and memories made.  The memories are in my head and heart, but having tangible things to see and touch, help me remember more vividly.  It is very easy to get into a state of mind (like I am as I write this) that you want to hold onto your children or your life as it is now and never forget it — and to do that, we feel like we should save everything!   It's funny how something very small or seemingly insignificant can jog your memory and bring back emotions you felt at the time you first had the experience.  A little note in scribbled handwriting, a self portrait drawn in Kindergarten, a story written by an imaginative elementary student, a photo, a ticket stub, a program from a school concert, or a spelling test with a big red A+ all will transport you back in time, if only for a moment, to re-experience the event you were commemorating by saving the item.  Hanging onto all of our kids' stuff can quickly become a dangerous practice unless you can afford to add on a wing to your house for mementos!

I've found that time is the best way to determine if something is really worth saving.  Once you throw something away, it's gone, so I have made the decision that if I have a slight feeling of attachment to an item, I will save it — at least for a while. Way back when I started My Life In Order, I wrote about paper organization and shared a workflow that helped me stay on top of all the paper that comes into our home.  A big part of that process is about how I handle items that I consider mementos.  Today, I'm going to share with you my current system for memento organization, and in a later post I will explain how my system is evolving as my children get older.

​Step 1:  Keep or Trash?
Commit to making quick decisions about everything that comes into your home.  There are really only two options with mementos — keep or trash.  Just because you choose to keep an item in this first step, doesn't mean you have to keep it forever, so don't spend much time worrying about the quantity of items you save in this step.  

I used to save too little in this step, and my little guy would often rescue his beloved artwork or a worksheet he was particularly proud of from the recycling bin.  I've finally found a happy medium between saving everything and trashing the majority, and the key has been asking my kids about what they would like to save.  Sometimes I'm surprised what they want to save but also at what they DON'T want to save.  

I have an inbox in my kitchen specific for mementos.  This is the perfect spot for me, because all paper flows through my kitchen! But before I put items in that inbox, I review them for things I obviously don't need to keep.

​Step 3: Review and Prune
Every once in a while, you will need to review and prune your mementos so you don't run out of space.  The added benefit of this review is that you can experience the memories that go along with these items again.  In reality, the only mementos I do this with regularly are the kids'.  The natural time to review is between school years.  It's kind of fun to spread everything from that drawer where we put items throughout the year all over the floor and go through them together.  If there's an item that neither of us can remember what it is or why we saved it, that's a sure sign that it should be trashed!  At the end of a school year, I also have more clarity about if I saved WAY too many spelling tests or drawings, and then with the help of each child, I can choose the best of the best to save long term.  

Each year I purchase a small container, and only allow myself to save the amount of paper that will fit in that bin.  This finite amount of space helps to keep the mementos to a respectable amount.  I realize that with two kids and one container per school year, this will add up fairly quickly.  Currently I have the back of one closet dedicated to these items, but I know that as more time passes, I'll be able to repeat the review and prune process a few more times to get the kids' mementos down to an even more manageable amount.  The more time that passes, the easier it is to determine what is worth saving.  Don't forget to go through this process with the over-sized items from Step 1 that you may have stored elsewhere.

Much of Step 3 depends on the amount of space you have.  Don't overwhelm today with all the stuff of yesterday. You will need to determine how much space you are willing to dedicate to mementos and be sure that they don't interfere with living your daily life to the fullest.  

What's Next?
I'm planning to pare down my kids'mementos even more as time goes on.  The truly important mementos will automatically show themselves — you'll remember what they mean while you may forget why in the world you saved some of the other things! My oldest is turning 13 in just a few weeks, so I'm using this milestone to motivate me to create a system for him that will allow us to continue to save important mementos in a way that will be easily accessible when it's time to make a high school graduation party display and small enough for him to take to his own home someday.  I'll be working on this over Christmas break, so stay tuned for Memento Organization: Part 2!

Sometimes it seems easier to just give up than it does to start over.  That's why some people never get their house organized, complete their passion project, or lose that weight they want to.  It's easy to get excited about the possibility of achieving a goal, but it's much harder to see it to completion. 

I'm here to tell you that I have been there — lots of times.  I'm actually there right now!  A few weeks ago I vowed to lose 15 pounds in 6 weeks. It's been —honestly, I don't even know off the top of my head how many weeks it's been — but it's been a few weeks, and I'm not even close to my goal.  It would be easiest for me to just throw my hands up in the air and say, "This is too hard.  I'll never lose weight." and just quit trying.  But I'm going to propose a different way.  I'm going to simply start over. 

I have been successful in completing goals and even achieving more than I set out to in the past, so I'm going to look closely at those instances to try to figure out how I was successful.  One example that comes to mind is the e-book I decided to write and publish in 6 weeks.  Even looking back, I'm not sure how I pulled it off, but I did!  I have a finished product that I'm really proud of, an e-book for sale on my website called Get Started Head First.  

After that experience, I was really pumped up and felt like I could achieve anything. I gave myself a week off, and then jumped right back into another 6 week sprint — the one where I was going to lose 15 pounds. Well...I've already told you this experience has yet to be successful, but why?

​

When I really sat down to think about it, the answers were very simple.  In order to achieve a difficult goal, I need a strict framework to keep me on track and focused.  I didn't have that for this attempt at weight loss.  I think we will all agree losing weight is hard for lots of reasons.  I wrote about my struggle in a previous post, Weight: A Heavy Topic.  After the high of finishing a 6 week sprint with my e-book, I think I forgot how hard it really was, so I didn't spend the time and effort in the planning stage to set myself up for success.

Here are the things that made me successful in achieving a goal in the past and how I am going to apply them in the future:

Accountability and Honesty
In my previous 6 week sprint, I publicly announced my goal and my time frame, and I did weekly live videos to report on my progress.  This time, I also publicly announced my goal and my time frame, and I did one weekly live video to report on my progress.  As soon as I realized I wasn't on track and my progress wasn't what I wanted it to be, though, I stopped checking in.  Without that accountability, it was too easy to fall back into old habits.  I wasn't even being accountable to myself because once I saw that the scale wasn't moving in the right direction (and sometimes in the wrong direction.)  I stopped weighing in and recording my weight feeling like I'd be better off not knowing how I was doing.  It soon became easy to go back to my old way of eating since no one  would know.  

This time around, I'm going to be stickler with accountability.  I'm going to check in on my Facebook page with a live video every week to let you know the good, bad and the ugly of how it's going.  I'm going to be honest with those I'm accountable to, including myself.  Ignoring my shortcomings or even lying about them doesn't help me move in the direction I want to go.  I will write down my food and weight daily even if I'm not proud of them!
 ​
Small Goals
The 6 Week Sprint Worksheet I used for writing my e-book was filled with small, bite-sized goals.  When I filled out the worksheet completely, I was successful.  I started out setting 6 weekly goals, and then broke those down into daily goals at the beginning of each week.   This time around with my weight loss goal, I did set 6 weekly goals, but when I just looked back at my worksheet, I realized I only ever set the first week's daily goals and after that, I just walked away.  

Without small, achievable goals written down so I could physically see them, I got overwhelmed and felt like I was failing at the whole goal all of the time.  If I could have focused on just one day's goal, I would likely have been able to conquer that one thing at a time.

This time around, I'm going to put a daily reminder on my calendar to review and log my progress.  In addition, I will create a weekly reminder to set daily goals for the upcoming week.  

True Focus
As much as I want to be able to do a million things at once, the truth of the matter is — I can't.  I distinctly remember after finishing my e-book, and deciding on my next 6 week sprint that I couldn't decide between two things: losing 15 pounds and improving my online presence for My Life In Order.  So what did I do?  I decided to do them both!  That was a mistake because I haven't done a good job on either of those projects.  I was afraid I would be bored if I only chose to focus on one or the other.  It's so easy to look back and see our faults, isn't it?  

What I needed was true focus.  Obviously I would still have to do all of my daily tasks and responsibilities, but to take on something "extra," it needed to just be one, focused thing. 

This time around, I'm going to choose me and my health as my true focus.  As much as I love My Life In Order and enjoy trying to figure out how to gain more followers, newsletter subscribers and potential clients, that's going to just have to fade into the background for now while I focus on my true goal of getting healthier for the next few weeks.  My hope is that soon that healthy lifestyle will become one of those daily tasks and responsibilities and no longer feels like an "extra."  When that's the case, I will take on a new project, but until then - one focus for me!

How about you, do you want to vow not to fail, but instead to start over with me? It could be anything you want it to be.  Download a free 6 Week Sprint Worksheet, and give it a try.   Just make sure you have:

• Accountability and honesty
• Small Goals
• True Focus ​

How many times have you bought a brand new, pretty journal with good intentions to chronicle your life for future generations? After about three lengthy, detailed entries in your best handwriting, did you turn to a couple of scribbled sentences for the next few days and then find it buried in your night stand weeks later? What then? Do you jump back in or just come to terms with the knowledge that you’re just not the kind of person who uses “journal” as a verb?

I’ve been through this cycle several times — I’ve tried journals with dated pages, journals with built in fancy ribbon bookmarks, and journals with lined, dotted and grid pages. I’ve even given a gratitude journal and a bullet journal a go. Each time I’ve had the same experience when I tried to do it the “right” way — I only keep up for a very short time until I give up.

What if you could get all the benefits of journaling without all the guilt of not being perfect at it? Well, I believe you can! Here’s my formula for journaling YOUR way!

Throw out expectations
The very first thing you should do is throw all of those expectations you have of regularly journaling in beautiful script in great detail out the window! I’ve learned that lowering my expectations of myself is one of the most important things I could do to help me feel more in control. I wrote a whole post about it here.

Don’t worry about how you think it should be or what others have told you is the correct way to keep a journal. Instead, quickly jot down what appeals to you about keeping a journal. For me it was getting my feelings and ideas out of my head so I could begin to understand them. My journal is for me and me only, so I decided it didn’t really matter how my journal looked or was formatted or how often I wrote in it.  Once I dropped the expectations, I began to use my journal for its real purpose a whole lot more!

Decide what matters to you
There are many uses for a journal, and you should decide which of them are meaningful to you.  Choose one or many of these 10 ideas for your journal, and then you can personalize your approach.

1. Traditional, daily account of events
2. A sentence or two about the highlight (or lowlight) of your day to help jog your memory later
3. Lists of things you don't want to forget — ideas, goals, to do's, feelings
4. Calendar entries of what you need to do on a certain day
5. Items you are grateful for
6. Notes about an event or speaker
7. Sketch of an idea
8. Letter to someone you have trouble talking to
9. Stream of consciousness of your feelings about a certain event or topic
10. Bullet journal which is a mixture of many of the things above indexed and organized with special characters.  Creator of the bullet journal system, Ryder Carroll, explains it as a way to "track the past, order the present, design the future."

Personalize your approach
Once you've identified which of the above are important to you, you can start using your journal!  The only real rule that I abide by is writing a date on the page.  This helps serve as a frame of reference when you look back at what you've written. 

I use my journal in all of the ways I shared, and I switch fluidly between uses based on what is needed to achieve my purpose for keeping a journal in the first place.  I just want to get things out of my head so I can begin to understand them from a more objective point of view.  It doesn't matter how often or rarely you write, as long as your journal is a resource for you when you need it!

My approach is obviously going to be different than yours, but that's the beauty of journaling your own way.  It is what you WANT it to be! If it's a personalized approach, it can't be wrong, just different than someone else's.  I start with a blank journal and just fill it with what meets my needs, but if that is a little intimidating, you may want to try something like The Guilt-Free Journal for Women by Jan Silvious.  Though I haven't tried this book myself, the description sounds awesome, "Here's the perfect way to break the guilt cycle! Packed with creative writing prompts and  encouraging Scriptures, this whimsically illustrated diary has no calendar references, so you can write when you want to, and enjoy it! "  
​

​Real-life examples
I like to get a new journal every January as a sign of a fresh start.  I looked back at my entries for this year so far, and here is what I saw:

• A description of what happened to me one day and how I felt about it
• Goals for the year
• Several rough drafts of blog posts
• Many task lists for specific days
• A chart I drew to track my eating and steps for that week
• An outline of a presentation I was planning
• A list of names of people who had impacted me
• The months of the year in fancy script I was learning
• A list of things I can and can't control
• A packing list for vacation
• My schedule for the coming week
• A log of my sleeping habits from a time I was having difficulty sleeping
• The outline of my 6 week sprint for writing my e-book
• A workflow diagram of a process at work  as well as a diagram of a decision I had to make
• A list of emotions I was feeling about a certain situation
• Notes from a sermon at church and from a phone call
• Sketches for my e-book bonus content pages

It's a lot of fun to read what I was thinking and feeling throughout the year.  From these entries, I can see some goals I accomplished, some areas I'm still struggling with, and find some fresh inspiration to get back to projects I've put on the back burner.  If I had put myself in a box and not used my journal if I didn't fit into it, I would not have these things to look back on and learn from.

I challenge you to stop feeling guilty about not keeping a journal the RIGHT way, but instead determine what you could gain from keeping one YOUR way!

Sources:
Photo by Ana Tavares on Unsplash

Carroll, Ryder. “Bullet Journal.” Bullet Journal, bulletjournal.com/.
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​Silvious, Jan. Guilt Free Journal. Living Ink Books, 2002.

​Last week I wrote about how Evernote makes it easy to take, store, and access notes at work, but Evernote is also great for keeping things in your personal life organized!  Here’s a quick refresher about how Evernote works:

• Each note is like a blank document where you can type text, insert photos, record audio, attach files, insert links, create tables, add screenshots or webpages using the web clipper, and even add sketches.  It's easy to create bulleted or numbered lists and insert check boxes. 
• ​If you would like to group notes together, you can create notebooks, and for even more categorization, you can create stacks (which I like to think of as binders) where you can group notebooks together. 
• To easily find notes, you can apply tags that are searchable.  A note can have as many tags as you want.  In addition to searching by tags, you can search all text in a note as well as text in any images. 
• If you want to collaborate with other Evernote users, you can share notes and participate in discussion about them.

The uses for Evernote are endless, but I want to share some of my favorites with you:

​Gift Ideas
This was one of my BEST parenting ideas ever!  Whenever we are shopping and the kids see something they like, I whip out my phone, open up my Evernote app, and search for their note in my "Gifts" notebook.  I just type in the name of the store we are at and then insert a photo of the item they like (I try to include the price in the photo if possible.)  This takes less than a minute, but saves me SO much time — time spent listening to kid-whining and time spent trying to make up a Christmas or Birthday list for grandparents!

I keep a note for each person in my family and for close friends as well as a general one for other friends.  If I’m online and see a cool gift idea, I sometimes paste the URL in my note.  I also keep a note like this for myself — just in case my husband ever needs a good gift idea for me! ​

Shopping
I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time remembering specifics about products I like especially if they are items I don’t buy very often.  I used to have to guess what color of makeup I wore, what fabric softener scent I liked, and what type of cat litter worked best whenever it was time to restock.

I created a note for each shopping category with a picture of the product including any details like color, scent, size, type, etc.  For example, I added a "Makeup" note with a photo of the type of pressed powder I like.  I have a photo of the front and back so I can see the product name and the color information.  In this note I have a picture or pictures of every type of makeup I like — eyeliner, eye shadow, mascara, blush, concealer, foundation, powder, lip color — I also may include the name of the best store to find each item and even record what a good price is.
​
Another note is titled "Cleaning/Household Products" where I include things that my family has a certain brand preference about like laundry detergent.  I also have a note called "Clothes" where I record current sizes for each family member (my kids’ feet grow so fast, I can never remember the sizes.)   

When you are shopping for home improvement projects, Evernote is very handy to store options so you can easily compare items that are at different stores all in one spot.  Another great tip is to snap a photo of the measurements you wrote down so that when you’re at the store, you can make sure the item you want to purchase will fit in your space.  When we were remodeling our kitchen, I must have counted how many of each type of cabinet handle we needed 20 times and then couldn’t remember when I was at the store.  I finally got smart and took a picture of it, and put it in Evernote so it was easy to locate and accessible to me when I was ready for it.   Keeping photos like these in Evernote is better than just in your phone’s photo app because Evernote is searchable.

Family Activities
Keeping track of all the details of every family members’ activities is no small feat, so I use Evernote as a cheat sheet!  Many of you probably take photos of sports schedules or school field trip info, but how easy is it to find when you need it?  Insert those photos into an Evernote note and you can easily find what you need when you need it!  If the school emails you a PDF document, you can even insert that into a note.  The things I access most in this category are the school calendar and sports schedules.
​
I also have a note that lists the times that my kids have lunch at school, so if I ever happen to be home and free during that time and want to go have lunch with them, I don’t have to call the school to find out what time they eat.  I save the monthly school lunch menu in a note instead of printing it out or having to look it up on the website or in my email every time the kids want to know what’s for lunch.

I prefer to keep my work and personal Evernote accounts separate, but if you would like to have them in the same account, you could easily create a "Work" and a "Personal" stack and have several notebooks in each to keep them separate.

What I’ve shared likely just scratches the surface of what you could use Evernote for.  It’s such a flexible tool, and the basic features are FREE!  The possibilities are endless, and when you use a combination of the desktop, online and mobile app version, you can access your notes anywhere!

Did you think you'd be done with note taking when you were done with school? Depending on what type of job you have and what your responsibilities are at home, you may be taking more notes now than you did in high school history class!  

How often have you jotted something down on a scrap of paper and by the time you needed to refer to what you had written, you'd lost it?  Maybe you keep a small notebook with you at all times in case you need to make a note.  How do you possibly find the just the right note when you need it?   It may be time to consider a new way to store your notes so you don't lose them and can quickly find what you need when you need it!  ​

In today's digital age, notes can be taken in many forms - handwritten, typed, or even as a voice recording.  The best solution I have found to store and organize my notes is Evernote.  This is a free app with upgrade options for a fee that allows you to take notes in different formats on different devices, store them in the cloud, and categorize them for easy access.  

If you've never heard of Evernote or even if you have used the app for years, read on to learn some tips and tricks that will boost your productivity at work.  In a later post, I'll share some ways Evernote can help you at home!

 Evernote at Work

Planning
Evernote is one of the first apps I open in the morning because I use it for planning my day,  I created a note that includes a checklist for the day's "Must Do's"  and another checklist of my "Would Be Nice To Do's."  Below that I include a day's calendar broken down in 30 minute increments that I use to plan out my day.

First I fill in any appointments, and then I fill in the blanks with "Must Do's" and if there's any time left, I sprinkle in a few "Would Be Nice To Do's"   I then keep a "Done List" of the things I actually accomplished for the day.  I reference this note often throughout the day and add to my "Would Be Nice To Do's" as I think of them and record what I actually did on my "Done" list.  This helps me visually see what I've accomplished for the day while also helping me to better understand how long tasks actually take so I can better plan in the future.

Since I use the free version of Evernote, I can't save an actual template, but I keep a blank note and just duplicate it every day.  ​If you are interested in creating your own templates, you may want to consider the Premium plan.

Meeting Notes
I use Evernote to take notes during meetings if it's appropriate to type.  Even if I take handwritten notes, I can snap a photo of them and insert as a note.  Since Evernote can search text in images, even my handwritten notes are searchable!

Tags are a great way to easily filter notes so you can see all notes about a specific topic at once.  I suggest creating a few categories of tags like dates, people, meeting types, subjects.  To make it easy on yourself, consider a prefix for each category so you don't get confused.  Here's a few examples:

• Start all "date" tags with an ! As soon as you type an ! in the tag area, all the date tags you've previously created will pop up for you to choose from.  A note created in September 2019 would be tagged    !09-2019.
• Start all "people" tags with a :  As soon as you type a : in the tag area, all the people tags you've previously created will pop up for you to choose from.  A note created about a meeting with Susie Q would be tagged    :SusieQ
• Start all "meeting type" tags with an @  As soon as you type in an @ in the tag area, all the meeting type tags you've previously created will pop up for you to choose from.  A note created about a one on one meeting would be tagged    @1on1
• Start all "subject" tags with a /  As soon as you type in a / in the tag area, all the subject tags you've previously created will pop up for you to choose from.  A note created about a fundraiser would be tagged   /Fundraiser

Using check boxes for to do's that come up during a meeting are a great way to make sure you don't forget to do the tasks assigned to you.  In Evernote you can create saved searches, and the most powerful of these searches is the one I set up for "unchecked to do's."  I can quickly click on this and see every note that has an unchecked check box.  Then I can either do the task if it takes less than 2 minutes and check it off, or, if it will take longer, I can add it to my master task list.  

I also like to indicate when others have a to do.  You could do this by inserting a certain character, emoji or colored text to indicate whose task it is.  This is especially helpful when you share your notes with those who were assigned tasks during the meeting.

I created a meeting template for myself that I duplicate for use for meeting notes.  If you'd rather use a template that's already created, check out all the free template options.

Other Ways to Use Evernote at Work

• Consider creating a notebook about goals and using notes to record your progress toward them.  
• Save ideas and tag so you can easily find the right idea when you need it.
• Record steps in a procedure.
• Keep track of multiple projects.
• Insert notes from other apps like Google Drive, Outlook, Nozbe, and more.

I can't wait to share how I use Evernote at home.  Stay tuned for  those useful tips next time!

Sources:
​
Photo by Alejandro Escamilla on Unsplash

www.evernote.com

Today is My Life In Order's two year anniversary!  It's hard to believe that I've been writing for so long.  A year ago I published "One Year of My Life In Order" which was pretty exciting, but this year I've got something even bigger to celebrate! 

Over the past few weeks, I've been working on my 6 week sprint, and it's culminated in a product I'm very proud of — my e-book, Get Organized Head First!

The book is on sale now, and anyone who takes the time to read this full post will get to use this coupon code to get the book for just $4!  Use code: BLOG at checkout.

My boys share the responsibility of emptying the dishwasher each morning.  The oldest puts away the dishes, and the youngest puts away the silverware.  Sometimes they had a hard time telling if the dishes were clean or dirty, so I bought one of those magnets for your dishwasher that you flip over to indicate if you ran the dishwasher or not!

This is a great system - - if you use it.  I would often either forget to turn the magnet around, so when the boys got up in the morning and saw "dirty," they'd be thrilled with one less chore for the day.  Or, even worse, I would forget to run the dishwasher and leave the magnet saying "clean" causing dirty dishes to get put into our cabinets.  The magnet became so unreliable, my 8 year old son looked at my earnestly one morning, pointed at the dishwasher magnet and asked me, "Mom, does the magnet speak the truth?"  I cracked up, but it made me realize that if I didn't use the system faithfully, it became less efficient than not having a system at all.

Any productivity system has to be followed regularly and fully in order to be effective.  This can range from something as simple as a dishwasher magnet, to your shared calendar with your spouse, to your task management strategy.

​The key to staying regular with your systems is to develop them one at a time.  Read my previous post about how to track a new habit and get a free printable to help!  If you try to wake up one day and suddenly reinvent yourself with several new routines, habits and systems, you're not going to be successful.  Master one before adding in another.  For a system to work, you must set up in a way that is easy to maintain because if you don't consistently use the system, you won't trust it.  One  system that you have absolute trust in is your calendar!

Develop a Trusting Relationship with Your Calendar
Regardless of your preference between paper or digital, if you don't use your calendar for everything, you will lose confidence in it, and it becomes nearly useless!  I recommend a hybrid approach to a calendar with the primary tool being digital with a secondary physical calendar of some sort posted in your home.  Digital calendars allow you to capture appointments as soon as you are aware of them - enter in your kids' next dental cleaning before you leave the dentist's office and add the sports practice schedule to your calendar as soon as you receive the text from the coach.  Digital calendars make it easy to set recurring entries or record future appointments.  There are many tools available, but Google Calendar is one of the most popular (and my favorite!) 

Here are 5 ways to make your digital calendar your trusted helper:

1. View everything in one screen! - Set your phone up so that you can view any calendar that impacts your life all in one screen.  This could include your work, personal, and any shared calendars.  Each source can be set up to display entries in a different color to help you quickly differentiate between types of appointments .
2. Share! -  You are busy and likely share responsibilities with others - either at work or at home.  Set up shared calendars or use the invitation method to put items on your calendar that you need to be aware of.  For example, in our family, if my husband has an late meeting requiring me to pick up the kids, he sends me an invitation that says "Josh working late" or simply forwards me the meeting invitation from his calendar so I know where he'll be. 
3. Record EVERYTHING! - Put everything on your calendar that is time bound that impacts your day.  This includes recurring appointments, all day events, and  items that are for information only (like kids' picture day.)  Be vigilant so that you know what to expect from your day and don't waste your time trying to remember your schedule in your head.
4. Review often - My husband and I compare calendars every weekend for the upcoming week to make sure we remembered to invite each other to anything pertinent on our own schedules.   We use what is on our calendars to determine what types of food we should add to our grocery list.  Do we need crockpot meals or will we have time for meals that take more prep time?  We  verify we have all the kid-hauling covered and are able to attend any important family events.
5. Use alerts! - When you use the alerting feature on your calendar to really put your life to be on autopilot.  Set reminders far enough in advance to give you time to either prepare for your appointment or leave on time if you have to travel.  When you set recurring all day appointments with reminders for a few days ahead of time, you will never forget a birthday, anniversary or important event again!  

My motto is "If it's not on my calendar, it doesn't happen!"  This frees my mind and memory for more important tasks than just remembering where I'm supposed to be when!  ​

I like the addition of a physical calendar at home to visually display to my family what's going on for the month.  Use a ​ different color for each family member so they can quickly scan to see what appointments impact them.  Just as with your digital calendar, you have to be diligent with keeping it updated.  I look forward to filling in my cute chalkboard calendar  that I got on Etsy at the end of each month for the following month.  I use my digital calendar as my master and fill in the next 30 days for all to see.  Each evening, around dinner time, I take care of any changes on the calendar.  The first time that your calendar "doesn't speak the truth" will be the last time your family trusts it!  ​

Sources:
​Photo by Rob Hampson on Unsplash

I read a lot of blogs, articles, and books about productivity, and one of the top suggestions for success is developing habits and routines - specifically in the morning. 

Morning is a time of day I love to BE up and productive, but my problem is the GETTING up!  Many of the books say you should get up at 5 a.m., exercise, meditate, and never look at your phone.  Well... my mornings have almost always been the total opposite of that.  I've traditionally set the alarm for as late as possible to allow me a few snoozes and then scurry around until I'm all sweaty and it's a little past time to get in the car for my commute.

I've gone through spurts where I got up early and walked on the treadmill or did yoga or maybe even read an enriching book, but it never lasted much than a workweek. I'd look to other research to support my theory that maybe I'm just not a morning person.  The book The Power of When by Michael Breus is very interesting and suggests that each of us have a chronotype that dictates when we tend to perform the best.  Though there's truth that I might not naturally pop out of bed at 5 a.m. happy and looking fresh, work and school still start early in the day, so I've got to figure out how to embrace the morning!  I distinctly remember the feeling I had one crisp, fall day in college when I'd gotten up early to finish a paper and walked across campus to turn it in.  I closed my under-20-year-old eyes, breathed in the cool air, and thought, "It feels good to already be done with something this early in the morning."  I often think of what it felt like to breathe in that feeling of early morning achievement.  How do I get that feeling back?  How do I become consistent in early accomplishment?

Here's what I've come up with:

1.  Have Something You're Excited to Get Up For
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THIS is where it's at! If you enjoy sleep more than you enjoy what you do in the mornings, obviously, it's going to be hard to get out of bed. Thinking back to that feeling I had of early morning accomplishment when I was in college - what I remember most was the beautiful, cool morning air.  I used to, very rarely, and only on a weekend, go out to my deck to read if I needed some alone time.  The weather had to be perfect, the angle of the sun had to be perfect, and the timing had to be perfect so there was no dew on my chair.  All three of those things aligned a few weeks ago, and I was enjoying my book and the sounds of the birds in my backyard.  I looked around me and saw the overgrown plants, the dusty table, and the leaf-covered boards of my deck.  I decided if I was feeling so calm and enjoying my book in the outside so much in the midst of that disaster, how great would I feel with pruned plants, a clean table and a swept deck?  I spent a few hours that day cleaning things up and vowed to sit outside every morning that week before work for at least a few minutes and do something I wanted to do - read, write in my journal, work on my blog, plan in my calendar, do a devotion, just sit and listen to the morning - whatever I wanted!  What a great week it was - I made progress on my e-book, I planned, I read, I smelled my flowers!  I'm not going to lie, there was a day that all I did was take two deep breaths of morning air and then headed back inside, but even on that day, I looked forward to getting outside, which made it much easier to get out of bed!

For me, getting outside coupled with having some dedicated time to do what I wanted to do was key! I did have to adapt to the dew on the chairs (a towel to sit on or a chair from inside brought out) and the humidity (not fixing my hair until after the outside time), but because I was excited about the time set aside accomplish my personal goals, I made it work! Now that I've made going outside in the mornings a habit, I'm going to try to get up a little earlier in the coming weeks to enjoy more of that time!  Winter in Indiana may prove a little difficult for outside time, but I plan to create a nook somewhere to stand in for my deck during the worst of the weather (though I'm not going to dwell on winter weather when I still have late summer and fall still to enjoy!)

2. Do what you want to -- and what you don't 

As excited as I am about my outside, alone time to do thing things I want to do, I'm still a mom, wife, homeowner, and employee, so everyday there are tasks that aren't necessarily making me jump up and down with joy.  But since I'm allowing myself that time to do what I want to do, it makes those other tasks not as bad.  Is there a really daunting task for work that  you could get a jump start on at home, do you need to start a load of laundry or maybe even scrub the toilet?  Pick at least one task that you don't care for (and it's ok if it's a tiny one) and just get it done!  You will feel so good that you've gotten it out of the way

​3. Plan ahead 

I wrote about this topic earlier this year, but I think it makes such a difference in a morning routine that I'll sum it up for you again.  Limit your morning decisions by picking out your outfit, and either pre-packing your lunchbox or at least having go-to snacks available to pack.  Use your phone to remind you of what you need to do on a specific morning or to alert you when it's time to get in the car!  I also like to time myself so I know exactly how long certain morning tasks take. 

​Multi-task!  Normally, I'd tell you single-tasking is a better bang for your buck, but in the morning, you can do a few things at once like let your hair dry while you put on your makeup.  Quit opening up the same cabinet over and over - plan your morning attack and be efficient!  Leave something in your home clean before you exit the house for the day - for me it's my bathroom counter, for others it's their made bed.  Give yourself a quick win to start the day feeling productive!  And finally, make a note of all the stuff floating in your head rather than trying to remember it.  A note on a piece of paper, a digital note on your phone, or even a voice memo, are all great ways to empty your head without worry of forgetting so you can focus on your morning routine.  (If you'd like to read to whole post about tips to avoid a mad rush morning, click here.)

4. Sleep
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It's really hard to get up early (and do it consistently) if you don't get enough sleep.  That's not a profound statement, just common sense.  In a previous post, I wrote about a really good day I had that began with a good night's sleep, so I wanted to figure out how to consistently get that kind of sleep to create more really good days!  I've found that stress has a huge impact on my sleep, so making my bedroom as calming as possible is a must!  Even if the rest of the house isn't clutter-free, I try to make sure my bedroom and bathroom are picked up.  A bedtime goal (mine is 10:30 - 11:00 p.m.) also helps, but I've found that one of the most important parts of getting a good night's rest is to go to bed before my husband.  Reading a physical book in bed to the light of my bedside lamp with the noise machine set on the rain sound makes me sleepy.   I use a specific scent of lotion every night (and only at night) right before I turn off the lamp to tell myself it's sleeping time!  I also prepare for whatever temperature I might want in the middle of the night.  If I start out with no socks, I have a pair on my bedside table.  I have headache medicine in my bedside drawer and some water within arm's reach just in case.  The quicker I take care of small nighttime nuisances, the more sleep I can get.  My sleep goal is 7-8 hours per night.  I track it with my fit bit, and normally am just shy of 7, so I've got some room for improvement!

5.  Don't compare 

Who cares if you haven't run three miles or read a chapter of a personal development book or made your family a hot breakfast? Morning routines are about YOU, not everyone else.  Like I admitted earlier, my personal, outside time on some days is literally just breathing!  What matters to me is that I'm up, I'm motivated, and I'm growing.  I don't share my ideas and experiences with you so that you feel bad about yourself for not doing exactly the same, I'm sharing them so you can feel inspired or motivated to find your own, personal morning routine that works for you!  As much as I wish I loved exercising and could check that off my to-do list before 8 a.m., it's probably never going to be part of my morning routine (because I will continue to be red-faced and sweaty even post-shower for hours after any level of physical exertion!)  So, you know what?  I'm ok with my own routine that may not fit the "ideal" because it fits me! 

I encourage you to find what works for you and stick with it for at least 3 weeks to determine if it's going to move the needle.  I could see positive change after just one workweek of going outside in the mornings, but one workweek does not a habit make - keep it up!  I would love to hear what you find as the key to your morning - share with us in the comments or on the Facebook page!

​I've been planning to write an e-book for about a year.  I'd get super excited about it, dreaming about all the people that I might be able to give just a little bit of help or encouragement, and then I'd start doubting myself.  I came up with excuses why I couldn't or shouldn't put my content out there for the world to read, and I just plain procrastinated!  Fear of failure and rejection set in, and I put that goal aside.

Well, this week, I decided I'm going to just start and not in a "someday I'll publish this" way, but in a hard core, 6 week sprint with a for real deadline kind of way!  This spring, I listened to Natalie Eckdahl on her Biz Chix podcast talk about hitting your next goal in just 6 weeks, and I got excited.  She told success stories, and I was sure I could do it!  But soon, the excuses started again as I looked at my calendar and realized there was a vacation coming up in the next 6 weeks, and that would just throw a wrench in things. The next time I thought about it, there was something else on the calendar in the following 6 weeks, and I was a little relieved to have another "reason" not to start.

Choosing not to proceed - not to challenge myself - limited me and made me feel inadequate.  I really believe this began a vicious cycle that caused me to began procrastinating on all sorts of other things.  Not only was I not accomplishing my goals, I was feeling guilty and weighed down by all that was undone.  A good friend recently gave me some great advice.  She said to pick one thing that I could finish that day, just one.  I did it, and you know what finishing just one little thing did for me?  It gave me momentum to want to do more and more!  In Brian Tracy's book, Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time, he shares about the old saying: 'if you eat a live frog first thing each morning, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that it's probably the worst thing you'll do all day.'  Use the frog as a metaphor for that thing that you know you should do and that you know you'll feel better when you've done - and just start!

There's no magic formula, but here's what I'm doing.  Would you like to join me and do your own sprint to accomplish that thing that you've been putting off?  You can download a FREE worksheet here, but please read on for some suggestions.
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Start TODAY! 
Don't wait for a Monday or the first of the month or when things slow down at work or when the kids start school -  start TODAY!

Announce your goal to at least one other person
​If you keep your goal to yourself, it's all too easy to continue procrastinating.  Once you share it with even one other person, your chances of meeting your goal go up significantly.  The American Society of Training and Development reports that chances of success increase by 65% when you commit to completing it to one other person and chances go up to 95% when you check in regularly to report on your progress.  I am currently doing a 5 day Infinite Growth Challenge hosted by Pinterest Marketing Strategist, Rachel Ngom, and one of the daily assignments was to post in the Facebook group - for all to see - what the one thing you need to do even though you're scared to do it.  I shared that I'm going to write my e-book, and now I feel accountable to the others participating in the challenge to get it done!

Commit to make forward progress (however small) EVERY day!
How big your goal is will determine how much you have to do every day, but don't let a day go by without some action.  Create a chain that you promise yourself you won't break.  6 weeks is only 42 days - you can do this for 42 days!!  Set aside a time each day where you will record your progress and adjust your plan.  I've been spending 5-10 minutes on my deck in the mornings making my notes.

Plan backwards
Start by thinking about what success will look like.  That's where you want to be at the end of week 6.  My goal is to publish an e-book by September 11, 2019 (which just happens to be My Life In Order's 2 year anniversary!)  Now work backwards on what you have to do to get there, starting with weekly goals.   Here are my weekly plans thinking with the end in mind:

• Week 6: Publish and promote
• Week 5: Edit and format
• Week 4: Seek feedback
• Week 3: Write and format
• Week 2: Write!
• Week 1: Market research, finalize topic, research process

I've decided to make out daily goals a week at a time.  For example, this week looks like this:

• Day 1: Establish weekly goals, commit publicly
• Day 2: Gather materials from previous presentations
• Day 3: Survey blog readers about topics and pricing
• Day 4: Locate "how to write and publish and e-book" training materials
• Day 5: Review training materials
• Day 6: Review previous presentation materials 
• Day 7: Review survey results and decide on topic

Next week, I'll make daily goals around actually writing!  

​ DO IT!!!
Now the hard part, actually do the thing!  Here is a FREE printable I've created to help you be successful.  Please share with us in the comments on this post or on the Facebook page what big things you will be accomplishing in 6 weeks!  You've got this!!  I'll be sharing with you my weekly progress on social media (so be sure to follow me on Facebook and Instagram) and I'd love to hear about your weekly progress, too.  If you'd rather not share with everyone, feel free to email me at info@mylifeinorder.com .

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​Will you help me with my research by completing a 1 minute survey?  Click here!  And, if you want to be one of the first to know when the e-book is available, sign up below!

Sources:

Wissman, Barrett. “An Accountability Partner Makes You Vastly More Likely to Succeed.” Entrepreneur, 20 Mar. 2018, www.entrepreneur.com/article/310062.

Eckdahl, Natalie. “Hit Your Next Goal With a Six Week Sprint.” Biz Chix, 28 Mar. 2019, bizchix.com/363-hit-your-next-goal-with-a-six-week-sprint/.

Photo by Kaitlyn Baker on Unsplash

In less than an hour before you leave for your trip, you can save yourself five times as much time when you get back.  If your company uses Outlook and your email goes through a Microsoft Exchange server (as opposed to a mail provider like Gmail or Yahoo!), you can literally process your emails when you're far, far away and Outlook isn't even running!   It's easy - just open Outlook, and click on "File" in the menu bar in the upper left of the screen.  Choose "Automatic Replies," and after you've selected the dates and created templates for your replies, click on the "Rules " button - this is where it gets really cool!  Here you can create nearly endless rules to automatically delete, move or forward messages based on a variety of criteria like who sent it, who it was sent to, the subject, etc.  The rules run and take care of your messages automatically, so that even if your "no email on vacation willpower" fails you and you pull up email on your phone, those messages will already be taken care of.

If you use Outlook with a mail provider like Gmail or Yahoo!, you can create rules but they just won't run until you open Outlook, and you'll need to manually turn them on and off.  Just click on the "Rules" icon on the "Home" tab and then select "Manage Rules & Alerts."   If you use something other than Outlook, don't despair, you can create similar rules, too! ​

As you go through the next few steps I'm going to outline for you, this folder will be a holding tank for your later to do's.  To make it very easy to quickly move items to this folder, set yourself a Quick Step.  When a message is selected in the Inbox view, you can simply click on the Move to "Vacation Review" Quick Step to immediately move it out of your Inbox and into this folder.  

Here's how to create a Quick Step in Outlook:

1. On the "Home" tab in Outlook, click on the down arrow for more options in the Quick Steps menu
2. Click "New Quick Step," then select "Move To Folder..."
3. Name your Quick Step something like "Move to Vacation Review"
4. Choose Your "Vacation Review" folder from the drop down and if you'd like to automatically mark messages you process with the Quick Step as read, check the "Mark as Read" checkbox.
5. Click Finish
6. Now you will see your new option in the Quick Step box.  
7. To rearrange the order of your Quick Steps, click on the down arrow for more options and select "Manage Quick Steps"
8. Select the Quick Step you want to relocate, click on the up or down arrows until it is in the location you want, then click "OK"

Expand one group at a time, skipping the group of emails sent only to you - you'll handle these in the next step.  Quickly scan to decide if you can delete the whole group, and if so - go for it!  If you think that there may be something you need in that group,  get a closer look at an individual message without opening it by turning on a reading pane.  Click on the View tab and choose your favorite reading pane location.  

As you review individual emails, don't get distracted and try to do anything! You have three choices: 1. Delete (use your keyboard delete key or the delete icon), 2. Move to "Vacation Review" folder, or 3. Archive (move into your existing folder structure. To read my suggestions on a simple folder structure for email read Email Organization: Part 1.)  The only other thing I'm going to give you permission to do at this point is to unsubscribe before deleting if it's an email list you no longer want to be part of.

Now you should be left with emails that were sent only to you.  To make it easier to review, drag the "To" field back down to the Inbox grid, then follow the rules above to group, but this time right click on the "From" field.  You will instantly recognize if a sender is spam or one that you need to pay attention to.  Just like before, as you review individual emails using the reading pane, resist the urge to do anything.  Just choose from the same three choices as above: ​1. Delete 2. Move to "Vacation Review" folder, or 3. Archive.  Remember you're allowed to unsubscribe before you delete since that will help you have fewer emails next vacation.

Now your inbox should be completely empty - unless you've gotten some messages while working through this process.  It's ok to leave those few, unread messages in your Inbox for now.  The Inbox is for new, incoming messages, and your Vacation Review folder is for your backlog of things to get done.  Now you have a way to see clear progress as you get caught up.  

​Make sure your "Vacation Review" folder is set to conversation mode.  Just go to the "View" tab and check the "Show as Conversations" checkbox.  In the "Conversations Settings" drop down, make sure "Show Messages from Other Folders" is selected.

At the beginning of the year, I reflected on my past year and set a few goals for myself. One of the goals I had for my blog was to do a guest post on another productivity blogger's site. I'm proud to announce that I can check that one off of my list!

I was honored when Csaba Vadadi-Fulop, a fellow productivity lover who blogs at www.productivity95.com asked if I'd be interested in collaborating. We met while participating in the 10 Steps to Ultimate Productivity book launch team. I published one of Csaba's posts on my blog in March about Productivity and Parenting, and this week, a post I wrote was featured on his blog, Productivity 9 to 5!

Please check out my post about Workplace Productivity in Real Life, and while you're at it, check out Csaba's free Productivity95 Manifesto - a kick-ass guide to supercharge your productivity.

Now I’m feeling motivated to crush a couple other of my goals - writing an eBook, hosting a webinar, and developing some productivity products! Stay tuned....

Everyone has a junk drawer (or maybe more than one!)  and most are filled with, well, junk!  Maybe we should rename it a 'miscellaneous drawer' to remind us that this drawer doesn't have to be a cluttered mess.  I'm in the midst of a kitchen remodel (read more about that here) so I had a great opportunity to rethink my junk drawer.  In my previous cabinets, I actually had about 4 junk drawers, and though they looked fairly organized, there was just too much stuff!  I consolidated everything into one large drawer and curated the contents to be only the items that didn't already have a home elsewhere.  

2. Get rid of what you haven't used in the past 3 months
​Maybe last time you went through your junk drawer, you were really into gum, but since you've settled on hard candy.  It's ok to throw away your gum if you're never going to chew it!  I keep small packages of tissues in this drawer, but whenever I pull out a package, I never choose one that isn't full, so I ended up with about 6 partial packages taking up precious drawer space.  Instead of throwing these away, I took them all and put them in my car's console so they will get used up.

3. Relocate items that have a home elsewhere
I had two containers of toothpicks in my junk drawer, but I moved them to my kitchen cabinets where I stored the other box of toothpicks I'd recently bought because I'd forgotten there were some in my junk drawer!  I also moved tea lights and votive candles to the drawer near my wax warmer where I keep all my scented waxes.    I moved some small tools to my tool box and masking tape to my laundry room cabinet where I keep packing tape.  

4. Group like items together
I used to have one container for rubber bands, paperclips, and twistie ties.  I could never find a paperclip when I wanted one because they were hidden among all of the other items.  I've now separated these things into two separate containers so now it's much easier to find what I want when I want it!

5. Get creative with drawer organizers
You can use pretty much anything for drawer organizers - products specifically for organizing drawers can be found at most stores, but you could also use dollar store plastic containers, small tins, small cardboard boxes, etc.  Remember that size is key, you want enough room in each compartment for what you want to store there, but not too much space causing you to waste precious junk drawer real estate! I found some inexpensive drawer organizers at TJ Maxx, but they didn't have any very small compartments, so I nested some smaller organizers right inside, and viola, I had just what I needed.  

Last week, I realized it was time to embrace that being a small part of something big is enough.  As I pondered what this meant in my real life here's what I came up with:

• Passion matters more than being seen

If I'm passionate about the small part I'm best at, I can make a significant contribution to the whole, even if that's not the part others will see or remember.  I don't need recognition, just the knowledge that I did my best in an area that I really cared about.

• I can't know it all, and no one else can either

I hope I'm not alone in feeling like everyone else must know more than I do.  In fact, I surmise, that I know a similar amount to others, but we just know and excel at different things.  

• What if's about the past don't help, but what if's about the future empower

When I ask myself over and over what if I would have done this or that in the past, my focus is compromised, but when I ask what if I do this or that in the future, I can decide what my focus should be going forward.

• I can create momentum through focus

That word, focus, is one that I want more of!  I've often felt like a "jack of all trades, master of none."  Choosing a small amount of things to focus on would help propel me forward.

• Feeling overwhelmed doesn't diminish your worth

We all have a purpose and value.  (Say that  to yourself a few times!)  

• I don't have to be a leader all the time

"You're a natural born leader," they say.  What I want them to say is, "It's ok to follow sometimes."

​What about you?  Do you feel like you have to be on top to matter or have you already mastered the art of teamwork and honing your specific skills so that you can compliment others with a common, big-picture goal?  I'd love to hear from you.  Comment below or email info@mylifeinorder.com.

My husband and I have been talking about a kitchen remodel for years, and when the doors to our cabinets literally began to fall off, we knew it was time!  We are still a ways from a final product, but I'm very happy with how the process has gone so far.  I planned more for this project than any other home improvement project, and it's been worth it!  

What I've learned so far:

• Start WAY in advance

Home improvement projects always take longer than expected, so start much earlier than you think is necessary.   A kitchen may be the most difficult of all remodeling projects and the timelines are longer than I ever would have expected.  5-6 weeks for cabinets to get in and ANOTHER 4-5 weeks for counter tops once cabinets are installed seems extreme, but once you know what to expect, you can begin the planning process.

• Ask lots of questions

Do your research!  Ask professionals and, more importantly, friends who have been through a similar project.  Ask for your family's input, too.  They will be the ones living with you in the space, so you want to make sure it's functional for them as well.  Things you want to learn about are style, color, materials, functionality, and durability.  

• Visualize the final product

Look at magazines, watch some home improvement shows, browse home home improvement stores, and of course create some Pinterest boards to help plan out your final design.  When you have a design in your mind, it's easier to make all the choices required for a remodeling project.

• Make your temporary space work for you

When you are remodeling a section of your home, it's an inconvenience not matter how you slice it.  Take a little extra time to set up the necessities in another area in your home.  Our family has been using our breezeway between the kitchen and garage as our temporary kitchen complete with our fridge, microwave, toaster oven and kitchen table.  Yeah, I washed dishes in my bathroom for a couple of weeks, but other than running water, I had everything I needed!

• ​Do first things first

Based on all the questions you asked earlier, you should know the pieces of the project that take the most time.  Make yourself a timeline so you don't have to put your project on hold or have your house torn up longer than necessary.  For example, we took measurements first, then found our installer which allowed us to get his input on materials and be aware of his availability.  Next we ordered cabinets so they would be delivered in the right window of time.  We knew we need to have our cabinets torn out, floor repaired and floor installed first, and we didn't want to have a kitchen's worth of cabinets taking up our garage space for longer than necessary.  

• Find the right person to do the work

Some of you are able to do home improvement projects on your own...and then there's the rest of us!  Finding someone who does quality work when they say the will do it at a reasonable price is one of the hardest parts of home ownership.  This is why asking around to others who have been through the same type of project you're doing is so valuable! Learn from their experience (and their failures!)  and ask for and take recommendations.  

• Be willing to wait for quality

Along the way, there are going to be surprises (especially if you live in an old house like mine!)  Try not to get frustrated if your well-laid plans get pushed back.  It's more important that the job get done right than get done fast.  Make sure to plan in some "fluff" time so that you don't end up having the painter scheduled to paint on the same day your counter tops are being installed because the cabinet installation was delayed due to unexpected issues with the floor.  If you build in some buffer days, your project will flow much more smoothly!

• Don't forget progress pictures!

It's so much fun to see those progress pictures.  It helps you appreciate how far you've come even when the project seems to be going slow.  When I look back at my green linoleum and what was under it, I'm even more grateful for my new, level floor!  We have a few more weeks before we can call the project complete, but we've come a long way!

I took a spring break from my blog.  I'll be honest - for these past couple of weeks, I didn't know what to write because I've been feeling very "out of order,"  and I felt a little like a fraud for even having this blog when I felt so out of control.  Control, that's a little word that seems to cause me so much trouble!

Last Sunday at church, was the first time in a while that I felt like it was ok to just sit and be.  I was allowed not to worry, not to feel guilty about all I should be doing, and didn't feel inadequate for the things I've been trying so hard to do and not succeeding at.  I was reminded that most of the minutia of my life, in the grand scheme of things, isn't really a big deal.  The things that ARE a big deal, well, I can't really change the outcome in any way by worrying or fixating on them. The Bible verse, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" from Luke 1225 is so true, so simple, and yet so hard to put into practice!  

Like so many of you, I'm a faithful This Is Us watcher, and a couple of episodes ago, Randall and Beth were shown as young parents, playing the "what's the worst that could happen" game.  I loved the reminder that even though there are always bad possibilities, the likelihood that they are going to happen is very slim, so it's not worth my energy to worry about them.  ​

Most of us have had times in our lives where we wake up with a sick feeling in the pit of our stomachs thinking about what could happen today, and sometimes we convince ourselves ahead of time that we know what the outcome will be.  I've learned through experience that there are two things I definitely can NOT do and those are predict the future or go back in time.   Because I can't do those things, I'm trying to make it a habit to focus only on what I can control and not what I can't.  It helps me to actually write out a list of each.   When I spend my time on what I can control, it makes it easier not to fret about the rest.  I realize now that being out of control is ok, is natural and once I accept it, can actually be freeing!

I found that the number of things  I can control is much less that what I cannot.  But that's what makes it manageable!  My general list of what I can control is just this:

• my bedtime and time I get up in the morning
• food that goes into my mouth
• words that come out of my mouth and my tone of voice
• if I wear a smile or a scowl
• the content of the written messages I send 
• the time I spend working vs. time spent (distraction free) with my family
• how much I move
• how much I read vs time I spend on a screen
• what I think about
• how I react
• how I plan ahead

I'm making it a new practice during my weekly review, to write down how I want these areas of my life to look in the next week.  Give it a try yourself! For example, this week I looked at my calendar of commitments and responsibilities and decided I could CONTROL going to bed by 10:30 and getting up at 6 this week, and I could CONTROL the snacks I pack in my lunchbox, and I could CONTROL going on a walk during my kids' sports practices this week, etc.