There have been many times throughout my career that I've thought, "If I didn't have kids, I'd be a rock star at my job," or "If my kids were older, I'd have more time to devote to my work," or "If I were single, I could be married to my job." And then I'd snap back to reality and realize I AM a wife, I AM a mom, and my kids ARE young - and I'm SO HAPPY about those facts! Those facts are what make me a whole person are the areas of my life that I love the most.
So why is it I feel like when I embrace my role as a wife and mom, that I can't be amazing in a professional role, too? The reason is simple - because I can't be incredible at everything at the same time - no one can. I can be laser focused at work, but them my home life suffers, or I can be all in all the time at home, and my work life suffers. It's a conundrum that I think all working parents face. It's a big source of what you often hear called "mommy guilt." Working moms tend to try to just DO more to make up for the fact they are away from their families at a job during many hours of the day, but this can lead to over-working and over-scheduling. In an interview with clinical psychologist, Nicole Grocki about this topic, the Mindful Return website explained, "Here we’re grappling with the mom’s belief that if a mom does more, and ignores the guilt, the better she will feel. But this behavior can lead to burnout and becoming physically unwell."
I, like many, turned to productivity to help me figure out the secret formula (spoiler alert - there isn't one!) I wanted to do all the things, be great in all areas, and appear like it was easy. When I dove in, I realized that one of the biggest secrets to productivity is not to do it all, but to do the right things. No matter how productive you are, you can not do it all. A productivity system can help you get more done in less time - that's true - but it cannot create more hours in the day, it cannot develop meaningful relationships with your kids, it cannot foster camaraderie with your co-workers, it cannot magically make you smarter or more knowledgeable. All of those things take time and dedication. If you are simply checking things of of a list - read the kids a bedtime story (check), read a business book (check), make a dinner reservation for date night (check) - you may not be fully experiencing the joys of life.
"No matter how productive you are, you can not do it all."
I don't want you to feel discouraged though, because I have a few suggestions for you!
Many of you may have begun working from home in the past couple of weeks and may be doing so for the foreseeable future. If you've never worked at home before, it can be a big change and a big challenge! I've heard from some of you that you are struggling in various ways — from staying focused on your work to not letting your working hours bleed into your personal time. I have worked from home on and off for years, so I wanted to share with you some tips that may help you be more productive at work, more comfortable when you are working, and give you the ability to separate work and home life.
1. Get ready for work
You may think working from home means you get to roll out of bed and go straight to your laptop in pajamas and bedhead, but I suggest you actually get ready for work similar to how you would if you were going into the office. Depending if you are required to video chat or not may determine how much time you spend on your appearance, but at least do the following:
Get up early enough to get these things done before you're supposed to be logged on and ready to work. Over the past couple of weeks, circumstances were extraordinary and there were days that I got woken up with issues at my day job that continued all day so that I never had the time to do these basic things. I felt out of sorts and out of control all day long! I'm a true believer that how you look impacts how you feel (so much that I wrote an entire post about it!) Set yourself up for success by being awake and ready to face the workday — even if you're just walking to another room in your house!
"Set yourself up for success by being awake and ready to face the workday - even if you're just walking to another room in your house!"
Cloud, Henry and John Townsend. Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No - To Take Control of Your Life. Michigan: Zondervan, 1992. Print.
A woman with many roles in life who knows the necessity of keeping things in order!