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Accountability Is Where It's At!

1/4/2021

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 Are you in the "honeymoon period" with your New Year's resolution? It's early enough in January that most are still enjoying that feeling of accomplishment and haven't fallen off the wagon yet.  Unfortunately statistics say that 80% of resolutions fail by the second week of February.  

I want you to be in the 20% that succeed, and the best way to do that is through a little accountability!  Your first step to success is to announce your goal to at least one person.  That simple action will increase your chances of achieving your goal by 65%!  It makes sense because when your goal is only in your head, it's so easy to procrastinate even starting your journey.  It's impossible to meet your goal if you never start, so I encourage you to take that tiny little step outside of your comfort zone and tell someone else what you want to achieve.

Now to really up your game, commit to check in regularly with someone or a group of people to report on your progress.  By doing this, you automatically up your chances of succeeding by a whopping 95%! You can choose a trusted friend as your accountability partner, or you may want to consider a group of like-minded people you don't know personally.  Sometimes losing the fear of what a close friend may think of your progress (or lack thereof) takes some of the pressure off and allows you to move toward your goals more quickly.  
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Accountability may sound scary, but it actually takes the burden off of your shoulders to keep yourself moving in the right direction.  When you find the right person or people to help steer you toward your goal, you will fell empowered and gain momentum - and what makes it even sweeter is when you can help others in your group achieve their goals at the same time!

I'm passionate about helping others achieve their goals, so about a year ago, I started leading the encouragement and accountability group called Achieve!  A small group of women meet for six weeks for an hour a week on video conference to discuss goals, strategies to meet them, progress, and challenges.  Each group has its own private Facebook group to stay connected and share resources.  I facilitate the sessions and document milestones and check in with members each week to help keep them on track.  It's exciting to see what amazing progress can be made and relationships built in just six weeks' time!  If you are interested in participating this session (January/February 2021) or a future session, please click below for more info or to register. 
Get More Info About Achieve!

Sources
Luciani, Joseph. “Why 80 Percent of New Year's Resolutions Fail.” U.S. News & World Report, U.S. News & World Report, 15 Dec. 2015, health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/eat-run/articles/2015-12-29/why-80-percent-of-new-years-resolutions-fail. 

Wissman, Barrett. “An Accountability Partner Makes You Vastly More Likely to Succeed.” Entrepreneur, 20 Mar. 2018, www.entrepreneur.com/article/310062.

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

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Hindsight 2020

12/22/2020

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The time around Christmas and New Years is perfectly made for reflecting on the past and planning for the upcoming year.  I'm calling this year's exercise "Hindsight 2020" because when we look back we can see things more clearly.  2020 has been a year of the unprecedented, so it's been next to impossible to navigate it well and see things clearly while we've been in the middle of it.  Soon, we will have a little space between us and 2020 to give us the perspective we need to plan for a new and better year.

I haven't had 20/20 vision since I was about 7 years old, but I never really knew why good vision was described that way.  According to the American Academy of Ophthalmology,  a person with 20/20 vision can read what the average person can on an eye chart when standing 20 feet away .  The top number is the number of feet from the eye chart and the bottom number is the number of feet away from the chart that the average person can read the same line.  For example, if my vision is 20/200, at 20 feet away, I can read only what an average person can read at 200 feet away.  We often think of 20/20 as perfect vision, but it's really just average because someone could actually have better than 20/20 vision.  A person with 20/15 vision they can see as well at 20 feet away as the average person can at 15 feet.
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The analogy of the eye chart gives me a little comfort.  The standard of 20/20 is not perfect - it's average.  In our daily lives, we are pushed to perfection and it seems being average is not good enough.  All of us have been using the phrase 'hindsight is 20/20' to mean that when we look back we can see perfectly what we should have done.  I'm really happy to re-frame the expression to mean that when I look back, I'll have a better idea of what was actually happening or how things could have gone better, but I don't have to expect my view to be perfect - just better than it was when I was right in the middle of the experience.  

I want to appreciate the year 2020 for what it was, what it gave me,  and what it taught me.  But I think the most powerful part of 2020 was what it WASN'T.  Recognizing what we missed, what disappointed us, and what we regret can teach us so much about how to live in the future. 

An exercise I do every year is to ask myself some simple questions about the past year and then some similar questions about the upcoming year.  I then look at the themes I see through these answers to help narrow my focus for the next year.  Finally, I set goals around those areas of focus to help me be successful. ,

This year I tweaked the questions a little bit, and I also asked my kids these same questions and shared some of my answers with them (though this is a very personal exercise, and you should't feel the need to share your answers with anyone unless you want to!)   These questions led to a great discussion with my kids, and helped me solidify even more what I wanted to focus on in 2021.  Try it out!

About 2020
1. What made you feel proud or successful this year?
2. What made you happy this year?
3. What caused you stress this year?
4. What are you disappointed you did not do this year?
5. What did you do this year that you regret?

About 2021
1. What would your fantasy self accomplish next year?
2. If your wildest dreams came true next year, what would happen?
3. If money were no object, what would you do next year?
4. If you didn't care what others thought, what would you do next year?
5. What are some key things you want to avoid next year?

If you are looking for support in setting goals and achieving them in 2021, check out the accountability group I lead called Achieve!  The next session starts in mid-January.  Spots are limited, so if you are interested, please reach out for more information!
Get More Information about Achieve!

​For some more reflection, planning and goal setting, check out past posts on the topic:
  • Plan Your Focus for the New Year
  • Be S.M.A.R.T. About Goal Setting
  • Review, Reflect, and Refocus
  • Achieve in 2020
  • Goals and Grace

Sources
Vimont, Celia. “What Does 20/20 Vision Mean?” Edited by David Turbert, American Academy of Ophthalmology, 10 May 2020, www.aao.org/eye-health/tips-prevention/what-does-20-20-vision-mean. 

Photo by Wesley Tingey on Unsplash



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14 One Day Organizing Projects

3/14/2020

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Many around the world are hunkered down at home to help slow the spread of COIVD-19.  I think this is the perfect time to get some projects done at home!  During times of uncertainty, it's easy to become anxious and overwhelmed about the things we can't control.  Small, achievable projects can give us a way to keep our minds off of the sometimes scary reality and also regain some control in our lives.  Many of you may be off work or working from home for the next 14 days, so read on for 14 organizing projects you can get done in one day or less!

1. Switch your wardrobe from Winter to Spring

At least the timing is about right for putting away winter clothes and getting out your Spring/Summer wardrobe.    Make sure to donate winter items you didn't wear this year and try on the Spring/Summer items to make sure they fit.  Don't waste space with things that no longer fit or you no longer love!  For more ideas read, The Seasonal Switch post!

2. Clean out and organize your medicine cabinet

This is a great time to think about what medicines in your cabinet may be out of date and determine which ones you are out of.  Make sure to clean the shelves and any organizing containers thoroughly.   You may be able to use items from around the house to combine like items.  Find some low-cost organizing ideas in the post, 5 Dollar Store Ideas for Your Medicine Cabinet.

3. Organize your junk drawer

Everybody has one and without occasional attention, the junk drawer can get out of control!  You may store some essentials in this drawer like batteries, flashlights, and hand sanitizer, so make sure you add any items you need to replenish to your shopping list.  Read more in 7 Steps to the Junk Drawer of Your Dreams.
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​4. Catch up on paperwork

You probably have a pile of papers to go through "when I have time."  Well, you've got some time now!  Separate into things you will do; things you will defer; things you can shred, recycle or trash; and things to file.  From there it's pretty simple, do the do pile, file the file pile, trash the trash pile, and find a home for what you deferred (though think about just doing everything you possibly can instead of keeping a pile for later!)  If you already have a good system in place, read 6 Steps to Get Caught Up on Paperwork  but if you need some help knowing where to start, check out The First Big Win: Wrangling the Paper or TheBinder System.

5. Purge and organize craft and hobby supplies

We all have a hobby of some sort, and those of us with kids likely have supplies for all sorts of crafts and hobbies!  The first step is to PURGE!  Get input from everyone who has used the supplies in the past about what they'd like to see done with them.  Choices are keep it all, keep some, donate, or trash.  Set up a few boxes - one for keep, one for donate, and one for trash.  Go through everything first and then begin determining where items will go and how you will store them.  I'll be doing a whole post soon on craft/hobby room organization!  In the meantime, you can read Can Creativity Be Orderly.

6. Organize your bedside table

Having a clear surface next to my bed gives me a sense of calm!  It's very easy to let your bedside table get cluttered because you are usually tired when you are near it.  Go through everything in and on the table and relocate anything you don't need within arms' reach at night.  Don't forget to add items that would be handy to have close by like hand lotion, chap stick, pain reliever, headphones, a book, a flashlight, etc.  In my E-book, Get Organized Head First, I share a how to get your entire bedroom cleaned and organized.  Having an orderly bedroom creates a sense of calm and control that translates to other areas in your life.  Get a copy of Get Organized Head First for only $2 when you use code: ORGANIZE at checkout!

7. Organize a closet

Pick a closet, any closet! This could be a coat closet, a linen closet, or your clothes closet.   Use the steps of purge, sort and store.  Purge what you no longer need or want, sort so like items are kept together, and then store in logical and accessible ways.  Read for more ideas in these posts The Seasonal Switch and Personalized Organizing
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​8. Organize sports gear

Spring soccer is just beginning.  Though practice schedules are up in the air for the time being, we will eventually get back to the days of cleats, shin guards, and soccer socks all over the place!  Consider setting up a zone in your home or garage where all the sports equipment and supplies go.  Items that we only use for a couple of months at a time don't tend to have a "home" like items we use all of the time.  This makes it more likely that they get left in a pile or create clutter.  Read How to Create an Organized Sports Zone for more ideas.

9. Clean and organize your laundry room

What a great opportunity to catch up on laundry (see how I'm trying to look on the bright side!)  It feels like laundry never ends, but I'm hopeful with less outings will come less laundry!  Take a day to assess what the problem areas are in your laundry room — it may be the lack of folding space, a cluttered shelf for cleaning supplies, or a hamper that is too small.  Read A Laundry Experiment Part 1 and A Laundry Experiment Part 2 for more ideas!

10. Purge and organize your board games

My family loves games!  We play family games at least a couple of times a week and are planning on a lot more while the kids are off school for the next few weeks.  Some of our favorites are Llama Drama, Exploding Kittens,  One Night Ultimate Werewolf, Unstable Unicorns,Yahtzee, Boggle, Bananagrams, Catch Phrase, and  Hearts.  This is a great time  pull out some games you haven't played in a while to determine if they are keepers or not.  Go through each box and assure you have all the pieces.  Keep all extra or random pieces in a small container so that they are easy to find later.

11. Purge and organize kids' toys

If you have kids who are going to be home from school for a few weeks, you are likely already dreading hearing them whine, "I'm bored!"  Going through their toys is a great way for them to rediscover fun things they may have forgotten about.  Use the same system as you did with the closet — purge, sort, store.  One of my favorite toy organizing projects was in this blog post, Lego Storage Under the Stairs
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​12. Write down your goals and a plan to achieve them

The Coronavirus outbreak has caused many of us to think about what and who is really important to us.   Think of this as an opportunity you've been given to reconsider your priorities and set new boundaries and goals for your life.   I encourage you to physically write down your goals and find someone to share them with so you have the accountability you need to achieve them.  Read about S.M.A.R.T. goals here and get a free, printable goal setting worksheet.  Learn about how to set and achieve a goal in as little as 6 weeks in this free, 10 minute webinar.  And if you are interested in some structured accountability, consider the upcoming Achieve! session - learn more here!

13. Clean out your refrigerator

Being stuck at home will force many of us to get creative about what we cook.  It's a great time to look in the depths of your refrigerator and freezer for food you didn't even know you had!  You may start to realize that maybe if your fridge was a little more organized you would have known what was in there!  Get some quick ideas by reading Organize Your Fridge for Healthy Eating  and if this inspires you to do the WHOLE kitchen - check out the free 7 day video series, 7 Days to an Orderly Kitchen.

14. Purge and organize your cords and chargers

Being stuck at home will likely mean lots of electronics being used over the next couple of weeks. You probably have cords and chargers all over the place.  Gather them all together, and use the same method we've talked about before - purge, sort and store.   There are likely cords and chargers from items you no longer own as well as multiples of the same type.   Don't keep more than you need. Even if you throw or give away several cords and chargers, you will save money in the long run because you won't be buying new ones every time you can't find one — now you'll know right where they are!


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Photo by jordi pujadas on Unsplash
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Meet Your Future Self

2/15/2020

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Over the years, I’ve broken many New Year’s Resolutions by mid-February. There are also many resolutions I've kept, and most of those have all had something in common - they weren’t centered on me, but instead were focused on others. Once I began to make some of my annual resolutions externally focused, I was able to create habits rather than just a temporary routine. ​

An example of an externally focused goal was the resolution to stop thinking so hard about if I should help someone. I decided that if the opportunity presented itself, and I had the ability or means to help someone, I would just do it instead of mulling it over and delaying a decision. Though this was initially focused on others, the benefit to me was great as well - I wasted less time overthinking and learned to confident in my decision making skills.
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I’ve also made goals about investing in relationships, and though that benefits me as well, I’m more likely to keep up with it because I feel like I’m letting someone else down if I don’t follow through. Sometimes it’s easier to keep promises to others than it is yourself.

In Gretchen Rubin's book, The Four Tendencies, she explains that everyone responds to expectations differently. She identified four main personality types based on how they respond to inner and outer expectations. Upholders can easily meet outer and inner expectations; Obligers have trouble meeting inner expectations but thrive with outer expectation; Questioners need to ask questions to help make sense out of outer expectations, thus turning them into inner expectations; and Rebels don’t respond to inner or outer expectation - they kind of do what they want when they want. Take the quiz to see what your primary tendency is.

Even if your goal is 100% about you, outward expectations can still help you be successful if you find an accountability partner or join an accountability group. Research shows an increased chance for success when you announce your goal and report on progress regularly. It’s a little harder to let others down than it is to let yourself down - that’s unfortunate, but often true.

But what about a goal that is so private that you don’t want to share it with anyone? Try thinking about your “future self.” This allows you to look from the outside in and think of your future self as almost a different person. You can make a promise to her that you don’t want to break. I love the concept of the future self for goal setting but also for short term motivation. For example we all know it makes sense to prepare the night before to make your mornings go more smoothly, but yet many of us don’t do the prep work regularly. Try thinking about what you owe your future self and how she will feel when you make preparations that will benefit her. This can be for things as insignificant as peeling your orange at home instead of putting whole orange in your lunch bag. Think, “Future me will be so happy she doesn’t have to make a mess peeling this orange at her desk tomorrow when she’s hungry for a snack, and it will help her eat healthier too!”
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The future self concept gets really, really interesting even beyond the ways we can motivate ourselves in the short term. Harvard psychologist, Dan Gilbert, explains in his TED talk the difference between the ease of remembering and the difficulty of imagining. Most of us can remember who we were but it’s harder to imagine who we are going to be in the future. Gilbert says, “Then we mistakenly think that because it’s hard to imagine, it’s not likely to happen.” You’ve heard the phrase, ‘I can’t imagine that’ and usually this is because of the poor imagination of the person saying it, not the unlikelihood that it will actually happen. That excites me - my future truly can be beyond my imagination!

Whether you become accountable to your future self, to your best friend, or to a group of strangers, that accountability will help you create a long term promise that will form your behavior and decisions in the present and the future - and the beauty is the past doesn’t have to be a limiting factor.   Goals could be in the form of an educational or professional pursuit, a healthy lifestyle, learning a new skill or hobby, or even focusing on developing or improving a relationship. It might be time to rethink this year's resolutions and determine how to make them outwardly focused - even if that focus is yourself in the future! 


Sources

Photo by 
Austin Kehmeier on Unsplash

Rubin, Gretchen. The Four Tendencies. Random House USA, 2018.


Wissman, Barrett. “An Accountability Partner Makes You Vastly More Likely to Succeed.” Entrepreneur, 20 Mar. 2018, www.entrepreneur.com/article/310062.

​Photo by Taylor Smith on Unsplash


Gilbert, Dan. “The Psychology of Your Future Self.” TED, Mar. 2014, www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_the_psychology_of_your_future_self.

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Organize Your Fridge for Healthy Eating

1/18/2020

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It's that time of year when most of us are trying to stick to our New Year's resolutions.  Chances are that if you're a woman and you made a resolution, it had something to do with eating healthy or losing weight.  According to an article on inc.com 71% of people who made a New Year's resolution focused on diet or eating healthy. 

Only about 8% of people who vow to make a change in their habits for the New Year are actually successful, so how can you be one of those who meet your goal?  There are many factors in meeting a goal including setting a S.M.A.R.T. goal, creating milestones, monitoring progress, developing new habits, finding someone or a group to encourage you and keep you accountable, and avoiding obstacles.

Today I'm going to focus on two of these factors - developing new habits and avoiding obstacles - and how organizing your refrigerator can help you accomplish your resolution to eat healthier!  ​
Avoiding Obstacles
One way to avoid obstacles is to remove temptation.  When you give into temptation, you might say you have no willpower.  Give yourself a little more credit - it's not that you have NO willpower, it's that willpower is a limited resource.  An American Psychological Association article suggests that willpower is similar to a muscle that can get fatigued from overuse.  We use willpower all day every day whether it's forcing ourselves not to daydream when we should be paying attention in a meeting, not blurting out what we are really thinking when it would be inappropriate, or choosing an apple over a chocolate chip cookie.  All of these instances take energy, and the more we can remove temptation, the less work it is to make good choices throughout our days.

In your refrigerator, you can easily remove temptation by cleaning out the items that are unhealthy or not on your eating plan.  Well....this is easy if you live alone and no one else has to eat out of your fridge!  But even if you have a family not on the healthy eating train, you can still make this work (especially if you are the one who buys the groceries!)  First, eliminate the items that no one needs.  Examples could be sugary drinks, desserts, condiments high in sugar, etc.  Then designate a few areas of the fridge that you are "allowed" to eat from.  Guard these areas and only allow foods that you should eat to go in them.  In my fridge, I eat mostly out of the crisper drawers and the bottom shelf.  This concept applies to your pantry as well.
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The second way to avoid obstacles is to make it more convenient to make good choices.  Rearrange your fridge so good foods are easy to access.  Consider a small lazy susan to help you get to items in the back of the shelves more easily.  Remove packaging and prewash and cut fruits and veggies.  Having clean, cut strawberries makes it much easier to choose them over a packaged treat when you don't have to spend extra time cleaning and cutting them when you are hungry!

Group foods that you use to together.  For example if you make smoothies for breakfast like I do, put all of your refrigerated ingredients together.  Use bins to make it even easier on yourself so you can simply pull out one bin, put it on the counter, and have everything you need for your breakfast.  I prefer clear bins so you can stack items, but still see what is in the bottom.   If you make a lot of salads, you could use one crisper drawer for all of your cleaned, cut up veggies and proteins.
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Developing New Habits
Another critical component to achieving a goal is developing new habits.  Don't think of a habit as something big like "eating healthy," but rather the tiny things you do that lead to milestones along your journey toward your goal.  When it comes to a healthy lifestyle, little habits related to your refrigerator can be very helpful.
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Some of these habits do double duty and also help you avoid obstacles - win, win!  
  • Go through leftovers and produce at least weekly and throw out the old BEFORE you go to the grocery store so you know what you need and have room for.
  • Meal plan BEFORE going to the grocery store by planning around what you already have in your refrigerator or freezer.
  • Clean fruits and veggies (and cut up if necessary) before putting them away.  Add a paper towel to the container you store them in to absorb the moisture from washing.  You can change the paper towel every few days to help your food stay fresher longer.  I even do this in bags of pre-washed salads.  Don't be afraid to store fruits in the plastic, clam-shell containers they come in.  Just wash them well, put a paper towel on the bottom, and add clean fruit.  I like to write CLEAN in sharpie on the top to remind myself these are good to go!
  • Cut produce to make it fit in your space.  For example, I often cut the tops off of celery if it is too long to fit in my crisper drawer.  It's annoying to fight with the drawer, and if it's not easy to access, you may avoid eating the good food it contains!
  • Remove packaging from foods before putting them in fridge.  If items are more convenient when they stay in a box, tear off the flaps for easy access.  Recycle any cardboard packaging.
  • FIFO - first in first out.  When you are down to your last yogurt and buy a new package, make sure to put the oldest one at the front so you don't let it spoil.  Using all that you buy keeps your grocery bill down and removes the obstacle of "healthy eating is too expensive."  I also use this concept for eggs if I have more than one carton, newest ones go under the oldest ones.  You can stack several egg cartons and use vertical space on your shelf!
"Using all that you buy keeps your grocery bill down and removes the obstacle of 'healthy eating is too expensive'."
  • Keep like items in bins (preferably clear ones) so it's easy to put away and find items.  When you use bins, you can better use all the space in the back of your fridge because you can just pull out the front bin to access what's in back instead of having to juggle items while you try to access the back.
  • Add items to a grocery list when you notice them getting low.  If you wait until you're completely out of something, it's very easy to revert to unhealthy eating when you don't have a good option in front of you.  I use a Google Home speaker so it's really easy to just say aloud what needs added, and then I can access the list on my phone at the store.
  • Keep clips near the fridge so it's easy to securely fasten partially used items.  This helps food stay fresher longer.  I use freebie chip clips and even cheap wooden clothes pins to secure bags of pre-washed salads.
  • Use stackable containers for leftovers.  I love my stackable Rubbermaid containers with lids that fit multiple sizes of containers and stack securely.  They are also clear so I can see what's in them.  Stacking items uses the vertical space on your shelves and allows you to fit more healthy food in your fridge.
  • Label foods that are in solid colored containers or ones you want to make sure you know how old they are.  I like a label maker, but a piece of masking tape and a sharpie work just as well!
 
If you can get into these refrigerator related habits, you will have a better chance of being successful with your healthy eating plan!

If you would like to increase your chances of meeting your goals by joining other women for encouragement and accountability, consider joining the Achieve! program.  Registrations for the February/March 2020 session are still open! 
Learn More about ACHIEVE!

Sources
Economy, Peter. “10 Top New Year's Resolutions for Success and Happiness in 2019.” Inc.com, Inc., 1 Jan. 2019, www.inc.com/peter-economy/10-top-new-years-resolutions-for-success-happiness-in-2019.html
Weir, Kirsten. “What You Need to Know about Willpower: The Psychological Science of Self-Control.” American Psychological Association, American Psychological Association, 2012, www.apa.org/helpcenter/willpower.

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Goals and Grace

1/8/2020

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It's the first full week of the new year, and I'm on-fire motivated to meet my goals.  I'm so darn excited about what I want to achieve this year that I want it all to happen right now!  I was reminded yesterday that just because I haven't seen immediate progress on my first goal of the year, doesn't mean I'm a failure or that I'm not going to achieve it.  Thank goodness for good friends who can see things from the outside looking in and remind me of that!  This got me thinking about what strategies I could employ this year to not only be successful at achieving my goals, but also to give myself grace along the way.  Here's what I've come up with:
Give Yourself Time
​The T in a SMART goal stands for time bound, and I need to remember that even though I may be able to complete each of my individual goals in 6 weeks, I can't do them all in the SAME 6 weeks.  I want to keep that fire in my belly, so I need to be careful not to let it burn to quickly and extinguish that flame.
Recognize All Achievements
Even small victories are worth celebrating.  Though I may not have gotten 100 people to attend my webinar on the first day it was launched, I did have one person who watched!  That's something to be proud of, learn from, and build upon.

​Keeping a "done" list is a great way to remind yourself of how far you've come and how much you've accomplished.  A done list is the to-do list's counterpart.  You can still keep your traditional to-do list, but start a list of everything you've completed.  This will give you a sense of accomplishment, and it tends to create momentum.
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Continue Learning
Not meeting your goal the first day you begin working on it gives you time to learn more about what you are trying to achieve.  There are so many resources available about every topic imaginable.  While you work toward your goal, why not gain insight from someone who has done something similar?  You don't have to follow their blueprint exactly, but you can almost always pick out a little nugget of wisdom that will help you improve.
Walk Away
Sometimes when you get head-down into a goal, you become so focused on a certain outcome that you don' take time for your other responsibilities or relationships.  Laser-focus is a great thing, but not at the expense of what matters most to us.  Walking away from your goal even for an hour or two and spending that time doing something productive or interacting with your family or friends will provide you a better perspective and a refreshed sense of purpose when you get back to it.

Another option is to set certain time frames that you dedicate to your goal so that during other parts of the day or week you don't feel like you're losing precious time. This can also set expectations with your family and friend so they aren't upset when you are busy working toward your goal.
Tell Someone
This is the best (and easiest) tip by far — get a mentor, a sounding board, or better yet join a group of them!  Achieving your goals increases by 95% when you check in regularly with someone about your goal.  This person or group can keep you accountable no only for working toward your goal, but for being realistic with your own expectations.  If you're looking for a group like this to encourage you and keep you accountable, check out the Achieve! program that launches in February.
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Watch FREE 10 min Webinar, "Achieve Your Goal in 6 Weeks"

Sources:
Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash

Wissman, Barrett. “An Accountability Partner Makes You Vastly More Likely to Succeed.” Entrepreneur, 20 Mar. 2018, www.entrepreneur.com/article/310062.
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Achieve in 2020

12/29/2019

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I love the holiday season for so many reasons, but one of my favorite parts is looking back on the last year to reminisce about the good times, recognize accomplishments, and realize what I learned and where I could improve.  When I was a kid, I remember my mom pulling out the wall calendar on New Year's day and going through all of our appointments and outings that she'd written down.  We would talk about all of the fun things we’d done in the past 12 months.  These days, I do the same thing — only with my Google calendar. It’s amazing how much you forget about your day to day life, and it’s a lot of fun to look back and remember all of those little details.

Reviewing your previous year’s calendar is a good way to determine how you spent your time and what you prioritized.  There are entries on my calendar that I didn’t have a choice about, but there are also many things that I decided to do instead of something else.  You can easily recognize a person’s priorities by the way they spend their time. If you look back at your calendar and don’t like what you see — not enough date nights or outings with friends, too many late nights working, or not enough “me” time — you are the only one who can change it.  Sure, there are some non-negotiables like doctor’s appointments, your job, or maybe even jury duty (I spent 3 days on a jury this year!) but there are many hours that you DO have a choice about.  Don’t beat yourself up about how you did or didn’t spend your time in 2019. Instead, learn from it and become intentional about how you spend your time next year so that when you review your 2020 calendar a year from now, you will feel proud, successful, and happy.
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I’m a big proponent of choosing areas of focus for the upcoming year and then setting small, specific goals within each of those areas. I just completed this exercise, and I used my calendar to help me identify what worked in 2019 and what I want more of or less of in 2020. Though I was really pleased with what I achieved in 2019, there’s still more I want to do.  I want to build on habits I started in 2019 and create new ones in 2020.  

Many people enjoy identifying a single word for the new year, but I’ve always found it a little intimidating to distill everything going on in my head and heart into one word.  This year, though, I saw a theme in my areas of focus and my goals for 2020 — ACHIEVE. I want to achieve, and I want to help others achieve. I want to empower others to be their best selves and to achieve what they have struggled with up to now. I am excited to announce that I am launching a formal program around this theme! 
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In February 2020, I will begin facilitating a goal setting group program for women called Achieve!  Small groups of women will meet virtually for an hour every week for 6-12 weeks to set goals, identify and overcome obstacles, and meet milestones necessary to achieve those goals.  The group will encourage one another and offer suggestions, assistance, and, most importantly, accountability! As the facilitator, I will guide the weekly calls, document your progress, and check in with you regularly between meetings to provide resources to keep you on track and motivated to complete the tasks necessary to achieve your goal.  

If you are interested in joining an Achieve! group, please fill out the form below, and I will contact you to discuss the details.   I wish you all a very happy and productive 2020!

    Contact me with more info about Achieve!

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​Photo by 
Jon Tyson on Unsplash
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How to Stick With It!

12/14/2019

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I can't believe this is my 100th blog post!  I looked through what I call my "blog log" which lists the date, title, and number of every one I've written, and I have to say— I'm really proud of what is included in these past 99 posts.  When I say proud,  I don't mean boastful, but rather a feeling of deep satisfaction that resulted from hard work, honesty, and perseverance.  It has been important to me from the start that I be transparent and not claim to know all the answers.  I'm in this with you — I have many of the same struggles as you, and I'm continuing to figure out how striving to live a life in order can help me gain and maintain control.  I truly believe that productivity and organization is not only for those born naturally orderly, but that it gives the rest of us the freedom and space to really enjoy our lives.

I asked my oldest son, who is nearly an all-knowing teenager, what I should write about for my 100th post.  He gave me some sage advice, "write about how you stuck with your blog all of this time."  I thought his suggestion was brilliant!  Yes, that's something I want to explore — stick-to-itiveness!
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I kind of went down a rabbit hole researching what this word meant.  I went from stick-to-itiveness to tenacity to tenacious to "persistent in maintaining, adhering to, or seeking something valued or desired."  What I realized was the reason it was easy for me to stick with my blog is because I value it! 

Many of us were required to read What Color is Your Parachute by Richard N. Bolles in a college job readiness course.  This book explored how to determine what job is right for you and how to get it.  No matter if you are looking for a job, a hobby, or just your next fun project, the principles are the same — you should search for your key passions and strive to use them daily.  The more passionate you are about something, the more likely you are to see it through, and be happy along the way. 

A pioneer in this type of strengths philosophy was Bernard Haldane, an English doctor who moved to New York in the 1940's.  After realizing he didn't meet the U.S. requirements for working in medicine, he began helping veterans recognize their own strengths and transferable skills from their military experience.  He encouraged them use those skills to rejoin the non-military workforce after returning from the war.  Haldane's work inspired others in the field and led to many books and programs encouraging people to determine not only what they were good at, but what they loved doing and would provide them with feelings of pride for having accomplished.  He was clear that this didn't mean it was all sunshine and rainbows along the way!  There will always be parts of a task or a process that one will dislike or cause them to work outside of their comfort zone, but he proposed that both the journey AND the outcome should provide satisfaction.

Starting My Life In Order came out of something I was passionate about — getting my own life in order and helping others do the same.  It consisted of things I enjoy — writing, technology, connecting and helping others achieve their goals.  I have one little secret that has helped me stick with it to this milestone 100th post — I give myself a LOT of grace!  I try to remember that this venture is supposed to be fun.  Though I feel a responsibility to publish blog posts regularly and be active on social media, I also give myself a pass sometimes.   The world won't end if my blog post is a little late or if I am MIA on Facebook for a day.  By giving myself permission not to be perfect all the time, it is much easier to keep on keeping on!  If I felt like if I didn't publish a post every 7 days that I was a failure, I would have quit a long time ago!  Imagine what you can accomplish if you can find that thing you are great at, fuels your fire, AND can give yourself some grace!  

You may be thinking, "Yeah, this all makes sense —if I love something I can stick with it, but what if I don't love it or just downright dislike it?"  Learning to persevere even when it's not fun is where real success begins!   Start by asking yourself the who, what, when, where, why questions.

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When you honestly answer all of these questions, you may be surprised what you learn.  Maybe changing gears really is the best option!  If it doesn't hurt you or anyone else, if it's not required, if it's not propelling you forward, and it's not going to bring you any joy, maybe it's better to turn your focus to something else.  But, is it possible that you can identify just one small thing that is frustrating about your project and realize that you may just need to suck it up and get past that little obstacle because the benefits of doing so are worth it?  Could you just "eat that frog" and get past the not-so-fun parts first thing in the morning so you can gain some momentum throughout the day?  

The biggest question that I think we all need to answer is our "why".   Why did I start and why haven't I already quit?  If the answers to those questions are meaningful enough to you to keep going, write them down and post them somewhere you see them often.  Daily reminders of your compelling "why"  will most definitely develop your stick-to-itiveness!

Sources:
 “Dictionary by Merriam-Webster.” Merriam-Webster, Merriam-Webster, 2019, www.merriam-webster.com/.

Bolles, Richard Nelson. What Color Is Your Parachute?: a Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers. Ten Speed Press, 2011.


Mike. “H Is for Bernard Haldane: His Pioneering Work On Strengths.” The Positive Encourager, 4 Mar. 2018, www.thepositiveencourager.global/bernard-haldanes-approach-to-doing-positive-work/.
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  “Uncovering Strengths...Unlocking Potential.” The Center for Dependable Strengths, 2019, dependablestrengths.org/
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The Power of a Daydream

12/4/2019

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I've been a daydreamer as long as I can remember.  As a child I would make up what I called "stories in my head." They weren't wild or unrealistic, but instead, they were detailed accounts of things that could actually happen.  When I was very young it could be about a toy I wanted, and I'd daydream about how I might earn enough money to buy it or how someone might give it to me as a gift.  When I was a little older, and I liked a boy, I would daydream about how we might be in the same place at the same time.  ​
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​The first of my well-thought-out-daydreams came true with a white Chevy Lumina APV minivan.  Yep, the kind with the pointy noses that were popular in the late '90s.  My then-boyfriend/now-husband and I were in year four of dating and thinking seriously about marriage when his car died.  His parents had been driving a pointy-nosed van for a while, and I'd overheard them mention getting a new vehicle — cue daydream.  I started thinking about the scenarios that could occur where we'd end up with the van.  Maybe they'd come to take us out to dinner and then offer to sell him the van at a low price, or maybe they'd even just give it to him.  I'm pretty sure at this point they knew I was their future daughter-in-law, so I thought maybe they'd consider the van a gift to "us."  I daydreamed about the whole thing, and then one day, they came to  visit us at college and took us out to eat at Cracker Barrel.  Afterward, it happened almost exactly as I'd imagined.  Every 20-something guy's dream come true — they gave him the minivan.  This is when I started taking my daydreaming a little more seriously!

Have you ever said, "I wish" this or that would happen?  Consider changing those words to "I hope."  The definition of hope is not a wish, but an expectation of something you know could actually happen.  I'm not suggesting my ironically cool minivan story proves that if you think hard enough or want something bad enough that it will magically happen.  I believe if we truly hope for something, it will require us to have some faith, think logically, and work hard to make it happen.  Once we start daydreaming, we allow ourselves to dare to visualize what we really want and then consider how to position ourselves to achieve that goal.  Obstacles will still get in our way, and some daydreams won't ever come true — but some will.

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Over the years I've used daydreams to help me work through difficult situations, sort through my options, and decide on the best course of action.  I may rework a daydream over and over until the details make sense in real life.  What started as the daydream of a 29 year old mother of one to have another baby and a more flexible job to be home with the kids turned into a reality as I got my real estate license, saved enough money for a cushion as I got started, and quit my office job days before I turned a very pregnant 30.  Once a daydream comes true, that doesn't mean you can't have more or different daydreams.  I'm no longer a real estate agent, and I have new daydreams now.
"Once we start daydreaming, we allow ourselves to dare to visualize what we really want and then consider how to position ourselves to achieve that goal."

​Daydreams can also be an escape from reality.  When I have a hard time sleeping, I will start a new "story in my head."  It helps me escape from the thoughts that are keeping me awake.  If the story isn't logical or possible, it doesn't hold my attention, and I quickly fall asleep.  If I'm stressed, sometimes I'll make up a daydream about a positive outcome to the situation that is wildly unrealistic and then work at the details until it becomes plausible.  This gives my brain something else to focus on besides my stress and sometimes it results in real opportunities.

Have you given daydreaming a try?  It's a powerful tool to allow yourself to aim high and then figure out how to make it work later.  There's no real risk or judgement because daydreaming is literally all in your head.  Work on hoping for change instead of just wishing for it.  I truly believe there is power in a daydream!
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Just this week my daydreams have come full circle. The Chevy Lumina of our newlywed years served us well for hauling friends and moving boxes, but it created an aversion to minivans that my husband and I have shared for almost two decades.  Now it's time for us to get a new vehicle, and earlier this week my husband walked in the door with a few spec sheets from the car dealership where he'd stopped to do some research on his way home from work.  One of them was folded in half, and he said he would save that one for last because it was his favorite.  I assumed he was joking and that it contained details of an expensive sports car, but instead, he unfolded the paper and dramatically announced that his favorite was a MINIVAN — and he was dead serious!  Now I'm daydreaming of third row seating, extra cup holders, a roomy center console, and how we will get the best features for the lowest price.  Watch out car salesman — my daydreams about minivans tend to come true!

Sources
Photo by 
Guillaume Bolduc on Unsplash

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Photo by Peter Fogden on Unsplash
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Starting Over Isn't Failing

10/16/2019

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Sometimes it seems easier to just give up than it does to start over.  That's why some people never get their house organized, complete their passion project, or lose that weight they want to.  It's easy to get excited about the possibility of achieving a goal, but it's much harder to see it to completion. 

I'm here to tell you that I have been there — lots of times.  I'm actually there right now!  A few weeks ago I vowed to lose 15 pounds in 6 weeks. It's been —honestly, I don't even know off the top of my head how many weeks it's been — but it's been a few weeks, and I'm not even close to my goal.  It would be easiest for me to just throw my hands up in the air and say, "This is too hard.  I'll never lose weight." and just quit trying.  But I'm going to propose a different way.  I'm going to simply start over. 

I have been successful in completing goals and even achieving more than I set out to in the past, so I'm going to look closely at those instances to try to figure out how I was successful.  One example that comes to mind is the e-book I decided to write and publish in 6 weeks.  Even looking back, I'm not sure how I pulled it off, but I did!  I have a finished product that I'm really proud of, an e-book for sale on my website called Get Started Head First.  

After that experience, I was really pumped up and felt like I could achieve anything. I gave myself a week off, and then jumped right back into another 6 week sprint — the one where I was going to lose 15 pounds. Well...I've already told you this experience has yet to be successful, but why?
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When I really sat down to think about it, the answers were very simple.  In order to achieve a difficult goal, I need a strict framework to keep me on track and focused.  I didn't have that for this attempt at weight loss.  I think we will all agree losing weight is hard for lots of reasons.  I wrote about my struggle in a previous post, Weight: A Heavy Topic.  After the high of finishing a 6 week sprint with my e-book, I think I forgot how hard it really was, so I didn't spend the time and effort in the planning stage to set myself up for success.

Here are the things that made me successful in achieving a goal in the past and how I am going to apply them in the future:

Accountability and Honesty
In my previous 6 week sprint, I publicly announced my goal and my time frame, and I did weekly live videos to report on my progress.  This time, I also publicly announced my goal and my time frame, and I did one weekly live video to report on my progress.  As soon as I realized I wasn't on track and my progress wasn't what I wanted it to be, though, I stopped checking in.  Without that accountability, it was too easy to fall back into old habits.  I wasn't even being accountable to myself because once I saw that the scale wasn't moving in the right direction (and sometimes in the wrong direction.)  I stopped weighing in and recording my weight feeling like I'd be better off not knowing how I was doing.  It soon became easy to go back to my old way of eating since no one  would know.  

This time around, I'm going to be stickler with accountability.  I'm going to check in on my Facebook page with a live video every week to let you know the good, bad and the ugly of how it's going.  I'm going to be honest with those I'm accountable to, including myself.  Ignoring my shortcomings or even lying about them doesn't help me move in the direction I want to go.  I will write down my food and weight daily even if I'm not proud of them!
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Small Goals
The 6 Week Sprint Worksheet I used for writing my e-book was filled with small, bite-sized goals.  When I filled out the worksheet completely, I was successful.  I started out setting 6 weekly goals, and then broke those down into daily goals at the beginning of each week.   This time around with my weight loss goal, I did set 6 weekly goals, but when I just looked back at my worksheet, I realized I only ever set the first week's daily goals and after that, I just walked away.  

Without small, achievable goals written down so I could physically see them, I got overwhelmed and felt like I was failing at the whole goal all of the time.  If I could have focused on just one day's goal, I would likely have been able to conquer that one thing at a time.

This time around, I'm going to put a daily reminder on my calendar to review and log my progress.  In addition, I will create a weekly reminder to set daily goals for the upcoming week.  

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True Focus
As much as I want to be able to do a million things at once, the truth of the matter is — I can't.  I distinctly remember after finishing my e-book, and deciding on my next 6 week sprint that I couldn't decide between two things: losing 15 pounds and improving my online presence for My Life In Order.  So what did I do?  I decided to do them both!  That was a mistake because I haven't done a good job on either of those projects.  I was afraid I would be bored if I only chose to focus on one or the other.  It's so easy to look back and see our faults, isn't it?  

What I needed was true focus.  Obviously I would still have to do all of my daily tasks and responsibilities, but to take on something "extra," it needed to just be one, focused thing. 

This time around, I'm going to choose me and my health as my true focus.  As much as I love My Life In Order and enjoy trying to figure out how to gain more followers, newsletter subscribers and potential clients, that's going to just have to fade into the background for now while I focus on my true goal of getting healthier for the next few weeks.  My hope is that soon that healthy lifestyle will become one of those daily tasks and responsibilities and no longer feels like an "extra."  When that's the case, I will take on a new project, but until then - one focus for me!

How about you, do you want to vow not to fail, but instead to start over with me? It could be anything you want it to be.  Download a free 6 Week Sprint Worksheet, and give it a try.   Just make sure you have:
  • Accountability and honesty
  • Small Goals
  • True Focus ​

Sources:
​Photo by 
Gesina Kunkel on Unsplash

Photo by 
S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash
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You'll Never Get Done If You Don't Start

7/31/2019

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​I've been planning to write an e-book for about a year.  I'd get super excited about it, dreaming about all the people that I might be able to give just a little bit of help or encouragement, and then I'd start doubting myself.  I came up with excuses why I couldn't or shouldn't put my content out there for the world to read, and I just plain procrastinated!  Fear of failure and rejection set in, and I put that goal aside.

Well, this week, I decided I'm going to just start and not in a "someday I'll publish this" way, but in a hard core, 6 week sprint with a for real deadline kind of way!  This spring, I listened to Natalie Eckdahl on her Biz Chix podcast talk about hitting your next goal in just 6 weeks, and I got excited.  She told success stories, and I was sure I could do it!  But soon, the excuses started again as I looked at my calendar and realized there was a vacation coming up in the next 6 weeks, and that would just throw a wrench in things. The next time I thought about it, there was something else on the calendar in the following 6 weeks, and I was a little relieved to have another "reason" not to start.
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Choosing not to proceed - not to challenge myself - limited me and made me feel inadequate.  I really believe this began a vicious cycle that caused me to began procrastinating on all sorts of other things.  Not only was I not accomplishing my goals, I was feeling guilty and weighed down by all that was undone.  A good friend recently gave me some great advice.  She said to pick one thing that I could finish that day, just one.  I did it, and you know what finishing just one little thing did for me?  It gave me momentum to want to do more and more!  In Brian Tracy's book, Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time, he shares about the old saying: 'if you eat a live frog first thing each morning, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that it's probably the worst thing you'll do all day.'  Use the frog as a metaphor for that thing that you know you should do and that you know you'll feel better when you've done - and just start!

My Sprint Step by Step

There's no magic formula, but here's what I'm doing.  Would you like to join me and do your own sprint to accomplish that thing that you've been putting off?  You can download a FREE worksheet here, but please read on for some suggestions.
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Start TODAY! 
Don't wait for a Monday or the first of the month or when things slow down at work or when the kids start school -  start TODAY!

Announce your goal to at least one other person
​If you keep your goal to yourself, it's all too easy to continue procrastinating.  Once you share it with even one other person, your chances of meeting your goal go up significantly.  The American Society of Training and Development reports that chances of success increase by 65% when you commit to completing it to one other person and chances go up to 95% when you check in regularly to report on your progress.  I am currently doing a 5 day Infinite Growth Challenge hosted by Pinterest Marketing Strategist, Rachel Ngom, and one of the daily assignments was to post in the Facebook group - for all to see - what the one thing you need to do even though you're scared to do it.  I shared that I'm going to write my e-book, and now I feel accountable to the others participating in the challenge to get it done!

Commit to make forward progress (however small) EVERY day!
How big your goal is will determine how much you have to do every day, but don't let a day go by without some action.  Create a chain that you promise yourself you won't break.  6 weeks is only 42 days - you can do this for 42 days!!  Set aside a time each day where you will record your progress and adjust your plan.  I've been spending 5-10 minutes on my deck in the mornings making my notes.

Plan backwards
Start by thinking about what success will look like.  That's where you want to be at the end of week 6.  My goal is to publish an e-book by September 11, 2019 (which just happens to be My Life In Order's 2 year anniversary!)  Now work backwards on what you have to do to get there, starting with weekly goals.   Here are my weekly plans thinking with the end in mind:
  • Week 6: Publish and promote
  • Week 5: Edit and format
  • Week 4: Seek feedback
  • Week 3: Write and format
  • Week 2: Write!
  • Week 1: Market research, finalize topic, research process

I've decided to make out daily goals a week at a time.  For example, this week looks like this:
  • Day 1: Establish weekly goals, commit publicly
  • Day 2: Gather materials from previous presentations
  • Day 3: Survey blog readers about topics and pricing
  • Day 4: Locate "how to write and publish and e-book" training materials
  • Day 5: Review training materials
  • Day 6: Review previous presentation materials 
  • Day 7: Review survey results and decide on topic

Next week, I'll make daily goals around actually writing!  
Get the FREE 6 Week Sprint Worksheet!
​ DO IT!!!
Now the hard part, actually do the thing! Here is a FREE printable I've created to help you be successful. Please share with us in the comments on this post or on the Facebook page what big things you will be accomplishing in 6 weeks! You've got this!! I'll be sharing with you my weekly progress on social media (so be sure to follow me on Facebook and Instagram) and I'd love to hear about your weekly progress, too. If you'd rather not share with everyone, feel free to email me at info@mylifeinorder.com
Update

I did it! I finished my e-book in 6 weeks thanks to the help of a great book launch team and the 6 week sprint process! You can get your copy now!

Get Organized Head First E-Book

$5.00

We've all had those days where everything seems to go wrong and you end up feeling overwhelmed and out of control. What if you could change those feelings and regain control of your life? You can! In this e-book you will start to understand what it means to get your life in order and learn some simple strategies to get more organized and be productive in your real life!

Shop


Sources:

Wissman, Barrett. “An Accountability Partner Makes You Vastly More Likely to Succeed.” Entrepreneur, 20 Mar. 2018, www.entrepreneur.com/article/310062.

Eckdahl, Natalie. “Hit Your Next Goal With a Six Week Sprint.” Biz Chix, 28 Mar. 2019, bizchix.com/363-hit-your-next-goal-with-a-six-week-sprint/.

Photo by Kaitlyn Baker on Unsplash



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It Feels Good to Achieve a Goal!

6/18/2019

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At the beginning of the year, I reflected on my past year and set a few goals for myself. One of the goals I had for my blog was to do a guest post on another productivity blogger's site. I'm proud to announce that I can check that one off of my list!

I was honored when Csaba Vadadi-Fulop, a fellow productivity lover who blogs at www.productivity95.com asked if I'd be interested in collaborating. We met while participating in the 10 Steps to Ultimate Productivity book launch team. I published one of Csaba's posts on my blog in March about Productivity and Parenting, and this week, a post I wrote was featured on his blog, Productivity 9 to 5!

Please check out my post about Workplace Productivity in Real Life, and while you're at it, check out Csaba's free Productivity95 Manifesto - a kick-ass guide to supercharge your productivity.

Now I’m feeling motivated to crush a couple other of my goals - writing an eBook, hosting a webinar, and developing some productivity products! Stay tuned....
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A Small Part of Something Big

5/15/2019

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Last week I was in Las Vegas at a huge conference for my job in IT.  As I sat way up in the nosebleeds in the arena needed to hold the 6,000+ people in attendance, I felt more than a little insignificant.  I looked around and saw so many people that seemed to have more knowledge and experience than me, and though that could be a good thing - an opportunity to learn - it was also overwhelming! 
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Where do I start? There is so much, so many choices bombarding me everyday.  I struggle with choosing an area to focus on and get better at, because I feel like if I do, I will neglect everything else - and what if there was a better choice and one that would have been more important or had more impact?  Nearing 40, I'm starting to feel like my potential is fading.  I used to be the youngest in the room, and many times the only woman.  That was my identity - the young, promising woman poised for success, but now I ask myself, "Where did my potential go?  What has been my contribution, and did anyone notice?"

​Now, when I hear a motivational speaker, I get all fired up...for a minute.  When I was younger and less experienced, I was more easily inspired, but the older I get, my level of cynicism grows as my level of inspiration wanes.  I'm now more grounded and practical and want to see my actions and contributions matter.  I find myself asking if I should just try to blend in, and I now realize that it's because I'm afraid I won't stand out.
"I find myself asking if I should just try to blend in, and I now realize that it's because I'm afraid I won't stand out."

Last week, I realized it was time to embrace that being a small part of something big is enough.  As I pondered what this meant in my real life here's what I came up with:
  • Passion matters more than being seen
If I'm passionate about the small part I'm best at, I can make a significant contribution to the whole, even if that's not the part others will see or remember.  I don't need recognition, just the knowledge that I did my best in an area that I really cared about.
  • I can't know it all, and no one else can either
I hope I'm not alone in feeling like everyone else must know more than I do.  In fact, I surmise, that I know a similar amount to others, but we just know and excel at different things.  
  • What if's about the past don't help, but what if's about the future empower
When I ask myself over and over what if I would have done this or that in the past, my focus is compromised, but when I ask what if I do this or that in the future, I can decide what my focus should be going forward.
  • I can create momentum through focus
That word, focus, is one that I want more of!  I've often felt like a "jack of all trades, master of none."  Choosing a small amount of things to focus on would help propel me forward.
  • Feeling overwhelmed doesn't diminish your worth
We all have a purpose and value.  (Say that  to yourself a few times!)  
  • I don't have to be a leader all the time
"You're a natural born leader," they say.  What I want them to say is, "It's ok to follow sometimes."

​What about you?  Do you feel like you have to be on top to matter or have you already mastered the art of teamwork and honing your specific skills so that you can compliment others with a common, big-picture goal?  I'd love to hear from you.  Comment below or email info@mylifeinorder.com.



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Tracking One Habit at a Time

2/27/2019

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A while back, I wrote about my struggle with my weight, and I'm still working on it!  I have a trip coming up in a couple of months which is a great motivator for me to set a goal and crush it!  I've been trying to figure out how to keep track of my progress and while also setting myself up for success.  

Research says habits are broken down into three parts:
  1. Triggers
  2. Actions
  3. Rewards

Identifying triggers can help us to avoid them or come up with strategies to cope with them.  I've always thought my triggers were stress and free food, but what I've been noticing is that the lack of a plan or accountability seems to be what really gets me in trouble.  


I don't know about you, but I'm really good at rewarding myself, but I struggle to find a reward that is appropriate and doesn't undermine my intended outcome.  For example, I often feel like when I've lost some weight, I "deserve" a milk shake or a candy bar or some jalapeno poppers!  I think the reason I feel like I've earned some "bad" food is because I've felt deprived during the short stint of weight loss.  ​
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I've been brainstorming a way to help address my triggers and my feelings of deprivation.  I ran across James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, who says that the first step to successfully developing a habit is to make one so small it's almost impossible fail.  I like the idea of not failing, so I decided to give this miniature habit thing a try.  I chose just one thing to focus on for a very short time period of time.

I saw an intriguing idea on Pinterest about tracking habits with a very simple chart with dates for an entire month listed down the left side of the paper and habits across the top.  This would create squares that could be colored in to indicate completion of a task.  Using different colors to indicate different actions gives a quick visual representation of your actions.  I decided to create my own chart, and even though I fantasize about producing a beautiful bullet journal (and maintain a Pinterest board about it), I took a shortcut and created a printable that I could just color in.  My chart is a little different, and instead of various habits across the top, I listed the hours in the day to help me see patterns in my eating throughout the day.
Habit Tracker
File Size: 196 kb
File Type: pdf
Download File

I wanted to track one goal at a time, every day and see my progress in small increments - as small as every hour.  Each hour, I can color in the corresponding box with either green (I did good), red (I did bad) or blank  (I didn't do anything related to my goal.)  Then over just a few days, I can quickly see how I'm doing and if there are any particular days or times of days that are tripping me up.  By focusing only on one goal, I am much more likely to be successful, and then I can eventually add additional goals after my first one has become a true habit. 
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My first goal was to avoid white flour.  I tracked my progress for the last few days of February, and the picture above is  how I did.  What I noticed was that by focusing only on one goal, I didn't feel deprived and thus didn't feel the need to reward myself with food for a job well done nearly as much as I had during previous weight loss efforts.  I also noticed that even though I was focusing on only one goal, it made me very conscious of my other food choices, and I ate better overall than I normally did.  I love being able to look at my chart and immediately be able to tell that I have a good breakfast and morning snack routine going, but I eat lunch at all sorts of different times, and my problem time is evening and late nights!  The jury is still out if this plan will work for me long term, but I'm excited to give it a try.  Who knows, maybe this will work so well I'll eventually add in some exercise to the mix!  

​Check out the free Habit Tracker printable, and give it a try!  You can come up with your own color system and make it as elaborate or as simple as you'd like. ​ Print out just one or use multiples as you add to your goals and habits. I will be reporting back before my trip in May to let you know how this system is working for me.  I'd love to hear from you if you test out this system and would especially like to see pictures if you draw a really pretty one in your bullet journal!


Sources

Quora. “The Science Behind Adopting New Habits (And Making Them Stick).” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 13 Feb. 2018, www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2018/02/13/the-science-behind-adopting-new-habits-and-making-them-stick/#4f1430e843c7.

Clear, James. Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones. Cornerstone, 2019.

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Music Matters

2/21/2019

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I often hold back tears.  There are various reasons - something reminds me of my grandma, my son outgrows an especially cute shirt, my husband says I look nice, someone else’s kid does a fantastic job at a school program - I’m really not picky with my teariness!  Many of the times that I’ve felt like crying happy tears were because of music.   A friend who I’ve never heard sing gets up and belts out an impromptu performance with a band, a Prince impersonator plays the piano, a child sings a clear, simple song, I am in a large crowd and can sing at the top of my lungs without judgement, the lyrics to a song say exactly what I feel,  a song brings a vivid memory back to life, or the complexity and beauty of classical music overwhelms me - cue tears!
Music doesn't only make me cry, it inspires me.  There are all sorts of music - some with lyrics that would make you blush, some that only sound good with a major twang, and some with a better beat than melody.  I love all that this abstract thing we call music is - music is math, it’s art, it’s emotion, and it’s everywhere! Music brings people together, transforms us, allows us to express what’s deep inside, and displays God’s perfect design.    
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Music brings people together
Music connects us.  Kids in a school choir from different social circles become friends over a common interest.  Teens in a garage band become lifelong friends.  A shared favorite band is a sign on a first date that a relationship will work.  Strangers that both play an instrument are able to strike up a conversation.  


You don't have to be a musician yourself to connect with others over music.  Music is present at many of life's events where people gather - weddings, birthday parties, and even funerals.   It's inter-generational,  a conversation starter, and gives us a comfortable way to be together without talking.  The same song can be appreciated by people who speak different languages, come from different backgrounds, or disagree on most everything else!  Music connects us.

​Music transforms us
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Music transforms a shy kid into a performer, a stutterer into a clear communicator, a sad person into a healed person, a determined person into an accomplished one.  I have a learned ability to play music, not a natural one.  ​I’m so incredibly grateful to have taken piano lessons from ages 6-17 from an incredible musician, Ruth Berkebile.  I am one of the hundreds of kids whose lives she impacted. (Here come my “leaky” eyes again!) I learned about getting better at something through practice and having the patience to see the results of that practice.  She made me count, she taught me the theory behind the music, she made me sit up straight, she believed I could, she taught me to improvise.  She gave me a lifelong gift, and when she suggested I teach piano, I could only hope to have a fraction of the impact she had on me and my life.

When I tried out for the school choir in Jr. High, I considered myself a "bad" signer, but thought I had a chance of getting in because I knew they needed
accompanists.   I got in, and though I don't know for sure it was my piano playing ability that got me there, I have a strong suspicion!  Being in a choir gave me the opportunity to learn that I could be fulfilled without being the best, that surrounding myself with others who were better than me would help me grow, and that I could get better even without a natural ability.  One of my proudest accomplishments was when I went from a novice singer who sang quietly to getting a 1 rating in a solo singing contest.  Mr. Howard Whittlesey was my choir director that, even though he had perfect pitch, believed in students who didn't.  He taught, he coached, and he connected his students with other musicians who helped each other grow. He gave structure and attainable goals that built on one another.  What an incredible lesson about our own ability to transform our lives!
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​Music allows us to express ourselves
Now here I am at 38 years old, teaching a few young kids piano lessons (
including my own children), getting to play at church occasionally, playing the piano for fun, and enjoying getting better with practice.  It’s amazing to have the chance to disappear into the music sometimes, and even to focus on technique and small improvement.   When I'm stressed, it helps to sing along with the car radio, listen to classical music before bed, play a familiar song on the piano at home, or throw myself into trying a brand new song.  

Most of us have playlists we listen to when we feel a certain way - angry, romantic, excited - and ones that help us with certain activities like exercising, studying, or sleeping.  Emotion and music are linked together.  Music helps us to experience emotions again and again.   You can hear a certain song and be immediately transported to the same emotions you had when you heard it the first time.  My husband and I, like most couples, have a song, and even though it became our song over 20 years ago, I still have that feeling of young love when I hear it.  
"...music is math, it's art, it's emotion, and it's everywhere!"

​Music shows me God
There is so much math and symmetry and so many interconnected relationships in music, that my mind can't comprehend a way that it could have just "happened."  Someone had to design it.  Though I myself don't have a musical ear, many do, and there's no other way that I can explain a small child with the ability to sit at a piano and play any song they've heard or a singer who can harmonize and improvise or a composer who can dream up symphonies than to believe those people have God-given gifts.  Music has long been a way to praise and worship, and many musicians get their start in church.   I believe in a creator God, and I think music was a pretty incredible creation!
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A life in order is what I write about, and I think music can play a large part in a meaningful life.  Are you taking advantage of all the opportunities listen to, play, learn, sing, teach, feel, appreciate, see God, and see others’ hearts in music?
Sources:
Photo by Stefany Andrade on Unsplash
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash
Photo by Dane Deaner on Unsplash
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Use Your Birthday to Get Motivated

1/17/2019

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I cracked open my brand new journal on my birthday this week.  My first entry is titled "38 Things I Want to Accomplish While I'm 38."  Last year, I wrote down one less goal for a 37 year-old's version of this list.  I made the list with various types of goals - some fun, some frivolous, some personal, some professional, some physical, some spiritual, but all just for me.  I made some easy and some a real challenge.  I was thrilled to mark off one of them very early in the year - I beat my husband at chess!  Sometime in my first three months of being 37, I was able to check off another one - I found an appropriately sized and stylish black purse - I call that a win! I didn't buy a new shower curtain or finish reading the whole Bible, though.  In fact, I only completed 20 of the 37.  Let me rephrase that, I completed 20 of the 37 things I wanted to do last year - that's over half, and some of them were really big! ​
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5 reasons you should make your own birthday goal list this year!
​
1.   It's fun
The goals can be anything - they can be meaningful or can be purely indulgent  I kept mine private so I didn't feel embarrassed about how silly or insignificant some may have seemed to others.  

2.   It's low pressure
This birthday goal list was in addition to areas of focus for the year and related goals, so they weren't high stakes to me.  They were just for fun and some were long shots - like I wanted to get 1,000 likes on my Facebook page - I made it to 335.  I'm not upset because it was just an arbitrary number and working to get there got me to where I am!
​
3.  It provides you multiple small wins
When you create lots of small, easy to attain goals, it makes you feel good about yourself as you check them off.  This gives you momentum and motivation to attack larger goals!  When you make attainable goals that are split up into digestible and measurable pieces, you set your self up for success.  For example, don't set a goal to "read more" instead, set a goal to read a book.  That's not too hard and once you've done it, you will likely want to do it again and again.    

4.  It allows you to dream of your future self
It's fun to daydream about where you will be in a year.  Thinking about how we want our future self to look, feel and act can be fun, but also help us to set goals to help us get there.  I often think about my future self - what would my future self appreciate me doing now (like stashing a dark chocolate Dove bar in my car's console so that I find it on a day I'm starving on my drive home and unexpectedly find this treat!); how will my future self feel when I've gotten through this tough season that I'm dealing with in the present (pride, joy, relief, or will I regret how I handled it?) ; or how will my future self benefit from this thing I'm doing today (exercising, eating right, etc.)  If you've never considered the concept of your future self, listen to this Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast episode.

5.  It gives you perspective and helps you give yourself grace.
Since I made this birthday goal list last year, I was able to read through what I wrote last January and reflect on why those things were important to me then.  I realized some of them are no longer important to me now, and there are new things are in my life now that weren't even on my radar then.  I did transfer a few of the undone items from last year to this year that I still care about.  But I was also able to easily let go of some of the things I didn't accomplish.  I gave myself permission to just not do them - just like that - no guilt or explanation needed! 

Let us know in the comments if you make a birthday goal list this year! 
Sources:
Photo by Aneta Pawlik on Unsplash


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