Are you in the "honeymoon period" with your New Year's resolution? It's early enough in January that most are still enjoying that feeling of accomplishment and haven't fallen off the wagon yet. Unfortunately statistics say that 80% of resolutions fail by the second week of February. I want you to be in the 20% that succeed, and the best way to do that is through a little accountability! Your first step to success is to announce your goal to at least one person. That simple action will increase your chances of achieving your goal by 65%! It makes sense because when your goal is only in your head, it's so easy to procrastinate even starting your journey. It's impossible to meet your goal if you never start, so I encourage you to take that tiny little step outside of your comfort zone and tell someone else what you want to achieve. Now to really up your game, commit to check in regularly with someone or a group of people to report on your progress. By doing this, you automatically up your chances of succeeding by a whopping 95%! You can choose a trusted friend as your accountability partner, or you may want to consider a group of like-minded people you don't know personally. Sometimes losing the fear of what a close friend may think of your progress (or lack thereof) takes some of the pressure off and allows you to move toward your goals more quickly. Accountability may sound scary, but it actually takes the burden off of your shoulders to keep yourself moving in the right direction. When you find the right person or people to help steer you toward your goal, you will fell empowered and gain momentum - and what makes it even sweeter is when you can help others in your group achieve their goals at the same time! I'm passionate about helping others achieve their goals, so about a year ago, I started leading the encouragement and accountability group called Achieve! A small group of women meet for six weeks for an hour a week on video conference to discuss goals, strategies to meet them, progress, and challenges. Each group has its own private Facebook group to stay connected and share resources. I facilitate the sessions and document milestones and check in with members each week to help keep them on track. It's exciting to see what amazing progress can be made and relationships built in just six weeks' time! If you are interested in participating this session (January/February 2021) or a future session, please click below for more info or to register. Sources Luciani, Joseph. “Why 80 Percent of New Year's Resolutions Fail.” U.S. News & World Report, U.S. News & World Report, 15 Dec. 2015, health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/eat-run/articles/2015-12-29/why-80-percent-of-new-years-resolutions-fail. Wissman, Barrett. “An Accountability Partner Makes You Vastly More Likely to Succeed.” Entrepreneur, 20 Mar. 2018, www.entrepreneur.com/article/310062. Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash
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The time around Christmas and New Years is perfectly made for reflecting on the past and planning for the upcoming year. I'm calling this year's exercise "Hindsight 2020" because when we look back we can see things more clearly. 2020 has been a year of the unprecedented, so it's been next to impossible to navigate it well and see things clearly while we've been in the middle of it. Soon, we will have a little space between us and 2020 to give us the perspective we need to plan for a new and better year. I haven't had 20/20 vision since I was about 7 years old, but I never really knew why good vision was described that way. According to the American Academy of Ophthalmology, a person with 20/20 vision can read what the average person can on an eye chart when standing 20 feet away . The top number is the number of feet from the eye chart and the bottom number is the number of feet away from the chart that the average person can read the same line. For example, if my vision is 20/200, at 20 feet away, I can read only what an average person can read at 200 feet away. We often think of 20/20 as perfect vision, but it's really just average because someone could actually have better than 20/20 vision. A person with 20/15 vision they can see as well at 20 feet away as the average person can at 15 feet. The analogy of the eye chart gives me a little comfort. The standard of 20/20 is not perfect - it's average. In our daily lives, we are pushed to perfection and it seems being average is not good enough. All of us have been using the phrase 'hindsight is 20/20' to mean that when we look back we can see perfectly what we should have done. I'm really happy to re-frame the expression to mean that when I look back, I'll have a better idea of what was actually happening or how things could have gone better, but I don't have to expect my view to be perfect - just better than it was when I was right in the middle of the experience. I want to appreciate the year 2020 for what it was, what it gave me, and what it taught me. But I think the most powerful part of 2020 was what it WASN'T. Recognizing what we missed, what disappointed us, and what we regret can teach us so much about how to live in the future. An exercise I do every year is to ask myself some simple questions about the past year and then some similar questions about the upcoming year. I then look at the themes I see through these answers to help narrow my focus for the next year. Finally, I set goals around those areas of focus to help me be successful. , This year I tweaked the questions a little bit, and I also asked my kids these same questions and shared some of my answers with them (though this is a very personal exercise, and you should't feel the need to share your answers with anyone unless you want to!) These questions led to a great discussion with my kids, and helped me solidify even more what I wanted to focus on in 2021. Try it out! About 2020 1. What made you feel proud or successful this year? 2. What made you happy this year? 3. What caused you stress this year? 4. What are you disappointed you did not do this year? 5. What did you do this year that you regret? About 2021 1. What would your fantasy self accomplish next year? 2. If your wildest dreams came true next year, what would happen? 3. If money were no object, what would you do next year? 4. If you didn't care what others thought, what would you do next year? 5. What are some key things you want to avoid next year? If you are looking for support in setting goals and achieving them in 2021, check out the accountability group I lead called Achieve! The next session starts in mid-January. Spots are limited, so if you are interested, please reach out for more information! For some more reflection, planning and goal setting, check out past posts on the topic: Sources
Vimont, Celia. “What Does 20/20 Vision Mean?” Edited by David Turbert, American Academy of Ophthalmology, 10 May 2020, www.aao.org/eye-health/tips-prevention/what-does-20-20-vision-mean. Photo by Wesley Tingey on Unsplash
Many around the world are hunkered down at home to help slow the spread of COIVD-19. I think this is the perfect time to get some projects done at home! During times of uncertainty, it's easy to become anxious and overwhelmed about the things we can't control. Small, achievable projects can give us a way to keep our minds off of the sometimes scary reality and also regain some control in our lives. Many of you may be off work or working from home for the next 14 days, so read on for 14 organizing projects you can get done in one day or less!
1. Switch your wardrobe from Winter to Spring
At least the timing is about right for putting away winter clothes and getting out your Spring/Summer wardrobe. Make sure to donate winter items you didn't wear this year and try on the Spring/Summer items to make sure they fit. Don't waste space with things that no longer fit or you no longer love! For more ideas read, The Seasonal Switch post!
2. Clean out and organize your medicine cabinet
This is a great time to think about what medicines in your cabinet may be out of date and determine which ones you are out of. Make sure to clean the shelves and any organizing containers thoroughly. You may be able to use items from around the house to combine like items. Find some low-cost organizing ideas in the post, 5 Dollar Store Ideas for Your Medicine Cabinet.
3. Organize your junk drawer
Everybody has one and without occasional attention, the junk drawer can get out of control! You may store some essentials in this drawer like batteries, flashlights, and hand sanitizer, so make sure you add any items you need to replenish to your shopping list. Read more in 7 Steps to the Junk Drawer of Your Dreams.
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Check out the free Habit Tracker printable, and give it a try! You can come up with your own color system and make it as elaborate or as simple as you'd like. Print out just one or use multiples as you add to your goals and habits. I will be reporting back before my trip in May to let you know how this system is working for me. I'd love to hear from you if you test out this system and would especially like to see pictures if you draw a really pretty one in your bullet journal!
Quora. “The Science Behind Adopting New Habits (And Making Them Stick).” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 13 Feb. 2018, www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2018/02/13/the-science-behind-adopting-new-habits-and-making-them-stick/#4f1430e843c7.
Clear, James. Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones. Cornerstone, 2019.
Music connects us. Kids in a school choir from different social circles become friends over a common interest. Teens in a garage band become lifelong friends. A shared favorite band is a sign on a first date that a relationship will work. Strangers that both play an instrument are able to strike up a conversation.
You don't have to be a musician yourself to connect with others over music. Music is present at many of life's events where people gather - weddings, birthday parties, and even funerals. It's inter-generational, a conversation starter, and gives us a comfortable way to be together without talking. The same song can be appreciated by people who speak different languages, come from different backgrounds, or disagree on most everything else! Music connects us.
Music transforms us
Music transforms a shy kid into a performer, a stutterer into a clear communicator, a sad person into a healed person, a determined person into an accomplished one. I have a learned ability to play music, not a natural one. I’m so incredibly grateful to have taken piano lessons from ages 6-17 from an incredible musician, Ruth Berkebile. I am one of the hundreds of kids whose lives she impacted. (Here come my “leaky” eyes again!) I learned about getting better at something through practice and having the patience to see the results of that practice. She made me count, she taught me the theory behind the music, she made me sit up straight, she believed I could, she taught me to improvise. She gave me a lifelong gift, and when she suggested I teach piano, I could only hope to have a fraction of the impact she had on me and my life.
When I tried out for the school choir in Jr. High, I considered myself a "bad" signer, but thought I had a chance of getting in because I knew they needed accompanists. I got in, and though I don't know for sure it was my piano playing ability that got me there, I have a strong suspicion! Being in a choir gave me the opportunity to learn that I could be fulfilled without being the best, that surrounding myself with others who were better than me would help me grow, and that I could get better even without a natural ability. One of my proudest accomplishments was when I went from a novice singer who sang quietly to getting a 1 rating in a solo singing contest. Mr. Howard Whittlesey was my choir director that, even though he had perfect pitch, believed in students who didn't. He taught, he coached, and he connected his students with other musicians who helped each other grow. He gave structure and attainable goals that built on one another. What an incredible lesson about our own ability to transform our lives!
Music allows us to express ourselves
Now here I am at 38 years old, teaching a few young kids piano lessons (including my own children), getting to play at church occasionally, playing the piano for fun, and enjoying getting better with practice. It’s amazing to have the chance to disappear into the music sometimes, and even to focus on technique and small improvement. When I'm stressed, it helps to sing along with the car radio, listen to classical music before bed, play a familiar song on the piano at home, or throw myself into trying a brand new song.
Most of us have playlists we listen to when we feel a certain way - angry, romantic, excited - and ones that help us with certain activities like exercising, studying, or sleeping. Emotion and music are linked together. Music helps us to experience emotions again and again. You can hear a certain song and be immediately transported to the same emotions you had when you heard it the first time. My husband and I, like most couples, have a song, and even though it became our song over 20 years ago, I still have that feeling of young love when I hear it.
"...music is math, it's art, it's emotion, and it's everywhere!"
Music shows me God
There is so much math and symmetry and so many interconnected relationships in music, that my mind can't comprehend a way that it could have just "happened." Someone had to design it. Though I myself don't have a musical ear, many do, and there's no other way that I can explain a small child with the ability to sit at a piano and play any song they've heard or a singer who can harmonize and improvise or a composer who can dream up symphonies than to believe those people have God-given gifts. Music has long been a way to praise and worship, and many musicians get their start in church. I believe in a creator God, and I think music was a pretty incredible creation!
Photo by Stefany Andrade on Unsplash
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash
Photo by Dane Deaner on Unsplash
5 reasons you should make your own birthday goal list this year!
1. It's fun
The goals can be anything - they can be meaningful or can be purely indulgent I kept mine private so I didn't feel embarrassed about how silly or insignificant some may have seemed to others.
2. It's low pressure
This birthday goal list was in addition to areas of focus for the year and related goals, so they weren't high stakes to me. They were just for fun and some were long shots - like I wanted to get 1,000 likes on my Facebook page - I made it to 335. I'm not upset because it was just an arbitrary number and working to get there got me to where I am!
3. It provides you multiple small wins
When you create lots of small, easy to attain goals, it makes you feel good about yourself as you check them off. This gives you momentum and motivation to attack larger goals! When you make attainable goals that are split up into digestible and measurable pieces, you set your self up for success. For example, don't set a goal to "read more" instead, set a goal to read a book. That's not too hard and once you've done it, you will likely want to do it again and again.
4. It allows you to dream of your future self
It's fun to daydream about where you will be in a year. Thinking about how we want our future self to look, feel and act can be fun, but also help us to set goals to help us get there. I often think about my future self - what would my future self appreciate me doing now (like stashing a dark chocolate Dove bar in my car's console so that I find it on a day I'm starving on my drive home and unexpectedly find this treat!); how will my future self feel when I've gotten through this tough season that I'm dealing with in the present (pride, joy, relief, or will I regret how I handled it?) ; or how will my future self benefit from this thing I'm doing today (exercising, eating right, etc.) If you've never considered the concept of your future self, listen to this Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast episode.
5. It gives you perspective and helps you give yourself grace.
Since I made this birthday goal list last year, I was able to read through what I wrote last January and reflect on why those things were important to me then. I realized some of them are no longer important to me now, and there are new things are in my life now that weren't even on my radar then. I did transfer a few of the undone items from last year to this year that I still care about. But I was also able to easily let go of some of the things I didn't accomplish. I gave myself permission to just not do them - just like that - no guilt or explanation needed!
Let us know in the comments if you make a birthday goal list this year!
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A woman with many roles in life who knows the necessity of keeping things in order!
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