Only today when I was thinking about the parallels between putting on your own oxygen mask first and the importance of self-care did it hit me that I need to make myself some masks!  I'm the one in the family that spends the most time away from the house due to my job, but yet, everyone else has more masks than me.   Once I have enough masks, I will feel more secure, less frustrated and spend less time laundering my small supply of masks.  

There are selfish people in this world, but many of us think of others before ourselves.   It's time to begin looking at self-care as a way to help others.  Perimeter Health Care in Georgia explains on their website that, "Self-care encourages you to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself so that you can transmit the good feelings to others. You cannot give to others what you don't have yourself."

Consider these easy ways to care for yourself:

• Get enough sleep
• Take time to prepare healthy food
• Engage your mind through reading or taking a class
• Enrich your life through creative pursuits such as art or music
• Move your body to improve energy and health
• Connect with friends and develop relationships
• Participate in religious or spiritual services or activities
• Relax so you can recharge your batteries!

Even though the metaphor of oxygen masks meant actual masks in my life, it can mean anything in yours.  Choose at least one way to care for yourself this week because if you continue to give to others without caring for yourself, the less you are going to have to give.  Put your mask on first!

We woke up early on the first day of the 2020-2021 school year only to learn that our home internet was out!  Since we were all planning to spend the day learning and working online, we had a few moments of panic.  Luckily the internet  came back on before long and held steady the rest of the day! 

I had planned every detail of virtual learning at our house, but there was still something out of my control.  It's good to be reminded that no matter how well we plan, the unexpected still happens.   I think this school year may teach us all that lesson many times over!  Because there is so much in life that we cannot control, it is helpful to be organized because that gives us the capacity to handle the unexpected when it comes our way.   

Whether your kids are doing virtual learning at home full-time or their school has a hybrid approach where just part of the week is e-learning, being a parent of a school-aged child this school year is going to be a challenge!  I am trying to use organization to help make the experience as smooth as possible, and I thought I'd share some of my ideas with you.

Challenge # 1:  Not enough workspace
We are excited to have my older son's best friend and his younger sister joining us for virtual learning.  It gives our kids some socialization and makes their school day much more fun! But we had to get creative to fit everybody in our home and still keep distance between them.

We live in an 1800 square foot, nearly 150 year old house with no spare bedroom or office. ​  On days when I work from home to help supervise the school day, there are six people to fit into the space!  We decided that we wanted everyone on the same floor, so we are not using bedrooms as classrooms.   Because of that, not every kid has enough room to have all of their books and supplies next to them at all times.  We solved that problem with a set of plastic drawers labelled with each kid's name.  The drawers are on wheels so if I want to get rid of the school look, I can roll them into the laundry room!

We decided that since most of the school day will be spent on Google Meets with headphones on, it didn't really matter if kids were in the same room because they rarely have to talk out loud during live class. We set the two older kids up in the kitchen and the younger two in the living room in a configuration so no one gets in anyone else's videos!  

My husband works in our bedroom on a slim table that we set in front of a window, and when I'm working from home, I work in my craft area.   Even though it's a little crowded, I made everyone their own nameplate for their space to define it as theirs.  I got acrylic frames for photo booth pictures for less than a dollar, then used scrapbook paper and some markers to make every "desk" a little special.  At the end of the day, the kitchen kids have to put everything in their drawer so my family can eat dinner at the same table, but it works!

Challenge #2:  Confusing schedule
We have two different schedules with different break times for the elementary and the middle school, and then there are alternating days for certain classes - it gets confusing fast!  I got two white boards and two inexpensive easels (check the photo frame section for these) to display the schedule.  I used different colors to help the kids easily find their next class.  For the schedules that alternate, there is a magnet that indicates what day it is.  We have one white board in each room to keep kids on track.  

I also created a printable daily schedule that lists each class time, class, and code for the live video session as well as check boxes for other daily requirements.  These were great for the first week while everyone was getting used to their schedules.  After the second week, we probably won't need these anymore and can just maintain a list of codes for the videos.
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One thing I love about virtual learning is how much extra physical activity the kids are getting because they can go outside and play, go on a bike ride, or just get some sunshine during breaks.  But it's important for them to stay on schedule, so setting timers is a great way to help kids manage their time and get back to their seats in time for the next session.

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Challenge #3: Tech Issues 
I work in IT for my day job, so I am used to tech issues!  The biggest lesson here is to teach your child how to fix issues rather than fixing them all yourself.  It's amazing how even young children can learn to troubleshoot an issue when you take the time to show them how.  Before school starts, go through their device with them and explain the basics.  Don't assume they know how to open a new tab on a web browser or even turn down the volume.  Chances are you may have to show them a few times, but if you take the time at the beginning to teach them how to help themselves, you won't be needed as much later on.

We've already run into broken links, unknown passwords, and pictures and videos that wouldn't display.  Teachers have been very honest that this is all new to everyone, so don't feel bad about asking them for help or letting them know when something isn't going quite right - but be nice!!  Taking a photo of exactly what you are seeing on your kid's device may be more helpful than trying to explain it in words.  

Slow or overloaded internet will surely be a problem at some point.  If that happens, try limiting video to only when it's needed.  Most teachers have a recording if something goes wrong and you can't participate live.  You may have to roll with it!
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Challenge #4: I have to work!
Many of us are working parents, and work doesn't just stop when school starts.  We are in unprecedented times, and employers are trying to make accommodations but still stay in business.  There are some who can't work from home because of the nature of their job.  This is where we have to stick together and help each other out!  I'm fortunate because my husband works from home, but I am trying to be very aware that he has a full time job and as willing as he is to be a teacher as well,  I need to pitch in where I can.  I occasionally work from home to give him a break, and I also review schedules for the next day and make lists, monitor homework assignments, etc. the night before so the days are smoother.

No matter what kind of job you have or how high up you are in an organization, all employees are just people and many of them are parents dealing with virtual school.  Even those who don't have kids themselves, have a child or teacher in their lives and can understand the challenges of juggling work and school responsibilities.  Several times a week on conference calls, I hear someone's child in the background or someone on the call has to excuse themselves to help with a school issue.  It doesn't bother me a bit - I get it!  We are all trying to do our best, and no one can deny that our kids' education is important.  

To help stay focused at work when you are at home with school-aged kids, set them up with everything they need before you start your workday.  Designate your own workspace and clearly communicate when kids are allowed to enter that space and at what times they need to be quiet.  You may consider a sign or visual reminder of these things for younger children.  Schedule your breaks around the kids' breaks so you can check homework, answer questions, and enjoy seeing their faces in the middle of they day.  You may need to talk to your boss about working an alternate schedule.  If there are hours that you need to dedicate to school, is it possible you could work some in the early morning or late evening to make up for that time?  

None of us know how long we will be dealing with virtual school, so I encourage you to identify your top challenges and come up with strategies to address them. Organize yourself in other areas of your life to give you more room in your day to deal with the challenges at hand.

Have a great school year!

We are living in a historic time, and many of us are battling conflicting emotions that change multiple times a day.  We are in a situation we’ve never been in before nor has anyone ever been!  It’s a struggle to sort out the truth from the rhetoric, and a true balancing act between staying informed and becoming obsessed.  Our physical and our mental health seem like they are somethings being pitted against each other, and it's been difficult to lead a "regular" life over the past several months.
 
For me, part of my "regular" life for the past 3 years has been this blog, but I soon realized that it had been months since my last blog post.  When stay-at-home orders first hit, I was just busy with my day job in IT, so I skipped a couple of weeks.  Then I became envious of those I saw posting on social media about how they were embracing the “pause” in daily life.   My work life had not paused, and in fact I was working more hours with more stress than ever, and I still had to be a good boss, a supportive wife, an attentive parent, and even a teacher!  The only thing I felt that I could allow myself to “pause” was my blog - so I stopped writing.

About a month after my last blog post, I realized that not ONE person had noticed I hadn’t written or posted on social media, so I became discouraged wondering why I should even start up again.  I began to use any pockets of time that I could find to do other things I enjoyed like reading, working in the yard, learning to sew, going on walks with my husband, and spending bonus time with my kids.  ​

What's Next?
I’m launching the next session of Achieve!, the group goal setting and accountability group for women, in mid-September with a 6 week session.  If you have a goal you need help achieving or even need help determining what your goal is, this small group, virtual program may be just what you need.  Learn more about the program here.  ​​ If you decide to sign up, use coupon code: EARLYBIRD  by 8/15/20 for your first week free!

Many around the world are hunkered down at home to help slow the spread of COIVD-19.  I think this is the perfect time to get some projects done at home!  During times of uncertainty, it's easy to become anxious and overwhelmed about the things we can't control.  Small, achievable projects can give us a way to keep our minds off of the sometimes scary reality and also regain some control in our lives.  Many of you may be off work or working from home for the next 14 days, so read on for 14 organizing projects you can get done in one day or less!

At least the timing is about right for putting away winter clothes and getting out your Spring/Summer wardrobe.    Make sure to donate winter items you didn't wear this year and try on the Spring/Summer items to make sure they fit.  Don't waste space with things that no longer fit or you no longer love!  For more ideas read, The Seasonal Switch post!

This is a great time to think about what medicines in your cabinet may be out of date and determine which ones you are out of.  Make sure to clean the shelves and any organizing containers thoroughly.   You may be able to use items from around the house to combine like items.  Find some low-cost organizing ideas in the post, 5 Dollar Store Ideas for Your Medicine Cabinet.

Everybody has one and without occasional attention, the junk drawer can get out of control!  You may store some essentials in this drawer like batteries, flashlights, and hand sanitizer, so make sure you add any items you need to replenish to your shopping list.  Read more in 7 Steps to the Junk Drawer of Your Dreams.

You probably have a pile of papers to go through "when I have time."  Well, you've got some time now!  Separate into things you will do; things you will defer; things you can shred, recycle or trash; and things to file.  From there it's pretty simple, do the do pile, file the file pile, trash the trash pile, and find a home for what you deferred (though think about just doing everything you possibly can instead of keeping a pile for later!)  If you already have a good system in place, read 6 Steps to Get Caught Up on Paperwork  but if you need some help knowing where to start, check out The First Big Win: Wrangling the Paper or TheBinder System.

We all have a hobby of some sort, and those of us with kids likely have supplies for all sorts of crafts and hobbies!  The first step is to PURGE!  Get input from everyone who has used the supplies in the past about what they'd like to see done with them.  Choices are keep it all, keep some, donate, or trash.  Set up a few boxes - one for keep, one for donate, and one for trash.  Go through everything first and then begin determining where items will go and how you will store them.  I'll be doing a whole post soon on craft/hobby room organization!  In the meantime, you can read Can Creativity Be Orderly.

Having a clear surface next to my bed gives me a sense of calm!  It's very easy to let your bedside table get cluttered because you are usually tired when you are near it.  Go through everything in and on the table and relocate anything you don't need within arms' reach at night.  Don't forget to add items that would be handy to have close by like hand lotion, chap stick, pain reliever, headphones, a book, a flashlight, etc.  In my E-book, Get Organized Head First, I share a how to get your entire bedroom cleaned and organized.  Having an orderly bedroom creates a sense of calm and control that translates to other areas in your life.  Get a copy of Get Organized Head First for only $2 when you use code: ORGANIZE at checkout!

Pick a closet, any closet! This could be a coat closet, a linen closet, or your clothes closet.   Use the steps of purge, sort and store.  Purge what you no longer need or want, sort so like items are kept together, and then store in logical and accessible ways.  Read for more ideas in these posts The Seasonal Switch and Personalized Organizing

Spring soccer is just beginning.  Though practice schedules are up in the air for the time being, we will eventually get back to the days of cleats, shin guards, and soccer socks all over the place!  Consider setting up a zone in your home or garage where all the sports equipment and supplies go.  Items that we only use for a couple of months at a time don't tend to have a "home" like items we use all of the time.  This makes it more likely that they get left in a pile or create clutter.  Read How to Create an Organized Sports Zone for more ideas.

What a great opportunity to catch up on laundry (see how I'm trying to look on the bright side!)  It feels like laundry never ends, but I'm hopeful with less outings will come less laundry!  Take a day to assess what the problem areas are in your laundry room — it may be the lack of folding space, a cluttered shelf for cleaning supplies, or a hamper that is too small.  Read A Laundry Experiment Part 1 and A Laundry Experiment Part 2 for more ideas!

My family loves games!  We play family games at least a couple of times a week and are planning on a lot more while the kids are off school for the next few weeks.  Some of our favorites are Llama Drama, Exploding Kittens,  One Night Ultimate Werewolf, Unstable Unicorns,Yahtzee, Boggle, Bananagrams, Catch Phrase, and  Hearts.  This is a great time  pull out some games you haven't played in a while to determine if they are keepers or not.  Go through each box and assure you have all the pieces.  Keep all extra or random pieces in a small container so that they are easy to find later.

If you have kids who are going to be home from school for a few weeks, you are likely already dreading hearing them whine, "I'm bored!"  Going through their toys is a great way for them to rediscover fun things they may have forgotten about.  Use the same system as you did with the closet — purge, sort, store.  One of my favorite toy organizing projects was in this blog post, Lego Storage Under the Stairs

The Coronavirus outbreak has caused many of us to think about what and who is really important to us.   Think of this as an opportunity you've been given to reconsider your priorities and set new boundaries and goals for your life.   I encourage you to physically write down your goals and find someone to share them with so you have the accountability you need to achieve them.  Read about S.M.A.R.T. goals here and get a free, printable goal setting worksheet.  Learn about how to set and achieve a goal in as little as 6 weeks in this free, 10 minute webinar.  And if you are interested in some structured accountability, consider the upcoming Achieve! session - learn more here!

Being stuck at home will force many of us to get creative about what we cook.  It's a great time to look in the depths of your refrigerator and freezer for food you didn't even know you had!  You may start to realize that maybe if your fridge was a little more organized you would have known what was in there!  Get some quick ideas by reading Organize Your Fridge for Healthy Eating  and if this inspires you to do the WHOLE kitchen - check out the free 7 day video series, 7 Days to an Orderly Kitchen.

Being stuck at home will likely mean lots of electronics being used over the next couple of weeks. You probably have cords and chargers all over the place.  Gather them all together, and use the same method we've talked about before - purge, sort and store.   There are likely cords and chargers from items you no longer own as well as multiples of the same type.   Don't keep more than you need. Even if you throw or give away several cords and chargers, you will save money in the long run because you won't be buying new ones every time you can't find one — now you'll know right where they are!

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Photo by jordi pujadas on Unsplash

As my boys grow out of the little kid stage, I have become more and more aware of how fleeting childhood is.  I have to admit it makes me kind of sad to think about my little boys growing into young men.  The things that use to seem annoying  — silly cartoons, endless games of pretend, so many Legos®, little socks without mates, countless drawings covering the refrigerator, or lots of toys lining the side of the bathtub — now, I long for more!  

​I'm realizing now that what matters most to me is time together, shared experiences, and memories made.  The memories are in my head and heart, but having tangible things to see and touch, help me remember more vividly.  It is very easy to get into a state of mind (like I am as I write this) that you want to hold onto your children or your life as it is now and never forget it — and to do that, we feel like we should save everything!   It's funny how something very small or seemingly insignificant can jog your memory and bring back emotions you felt at the time you first had the experience.  A little note in scribbled handwriting, a self portrait drawn in Kindergarten, a story written by an imaginative elementary student, a photo, a ticket stub, a program from a school concert, or a spelling test with a big red A+ all will transport you back in time, if only for a moment, to re-experience the event you were commemorating by saving the item.  Hanging onto all of our kids' stuff can quickly become a dangerous practice unless you can afford to add on a wing to your house for mementos!

I've found that time is the best way to determine if something is really worth saving.  Once you throw something away, it's gone, so I have made the decision that if I have a slight feeling of attachment to an item, I will save it — at least for a while. Way back when I started My Life In Order, I wrote about paper organization and shared a workflow that helped me stay on top of all the paper that comes into our home.  A big part of that process is about how I handle items that I consider mementos.  Today, I'm going to share with you my current system for memento organization, and in a later post I will explain how my system is evolving as my children get older.

​Step 1:  Keep or Trash?
Commit to making quick decisions about everything that comes into your home.  There are really only two options with mementos — keep or trash.  Just because you choose to keep an item in this first step, doesn't mean you have to keep it forever, so don't spend much time worrying about the quantity of items you save in this step.  

I used to save too little in this step, and my little guy would often rescue his beloved artwork or a worksheet he was particularly proud of from the recycling bin.  I've finally found a happy medium between saving everything and trashing the majority, and the key has been asking my kids about what they would like to save.  Sometimes I'm surprised what they want to save but also at what they DON'T want to save.  

I have an inbox in my kitchen specific for mementos.  This is the perfect spot for me, because all paper flows through my kitchen! But before I put items in that inbox, I review them for things I obviously don't need to keep.

​Step 3: Review and Prune
Every once in a while, you will need to review and prune your mementos so you don't run out of space.  The added benefit of this review is that you can experience the memories that go along with these items again.  In reality, the only mementos I do this with regularly are the kids'.  The natural time to review is between school years.  It's kind of fun to spread everything from that drawer where we put items throughout the year all over the floor and go through them together.  If there's an item that neither of us can remember what it is or why we saved it, that's a sure sign that it should be trashed!  At the end of a school year, I also have more clarity about if I saved WAY too many spelling tests or drawings, and then with the help of each child, I can choose the best of the best to save long term.  

Each year I purchase a small container, and only allow myself to save the amount of paper that will fit in that bin.  This finite amount of space helps to keep the mementos to a respectable amount.  I realize that with two kids and one container per school year, this will add up fairly quickly.  Currently I have the back of one closet dedicated to these items, but I know that as more time passes, I'll be able to repeat the review and prune process a few more times to get the kids' mementos down to an even more manageable amount.  The more time that passes, the easier it is to determine what is worth saving.  Don't forget to go through this process with the over-sized items from Step 1 that you may have stored elsewhere.

Much of Step 3 depends on the amount of space you have.  Don't overwhelm today with all the stuff of yesterday. You will need to determine how much space you are willing to dedicate to mementos and be sure that they don't interfere with living your daily life to the fullest.  

What's Next?
I'm planning to pare down my kids'mementos even more as time goes on.  The truly important mementos will automatically show themselves — you'll remember what they mean while you may forget why in the world you saved some of the other things! My oldest is turning 13 in just a few weeks, so I'm using this milestone to motivate me to create a system for him that will allow us to continue to save important mementos in a way that will be easily accessible when it's time to make a high school graduation party display and small enough for him to take to his own home someday.  I'll be working on this over Christmas break, so stay tuned for Memento Organization: Part 2!

I'm excited to share a very special post from my first guest blogger, Csaba Vadadi-Fulop from www.productivity95.com.   I met Csaba when we were both part of the 10 Steps to Ultimate Productivity book launch team.  He has great content on his blog, and in this post he shares tips on remaining productive while parenting.

Productivity and Parenting 
By Csaba Vadadi-Fulop

When your baby is born, a lifelong odyssey begins. You quickly realize that you must harness your down time more than ever before. Maybe you experience a paradigm shift in your life in terms of how you perceive your world: you might be more selective in what's important and what isn't. Both happened to me.
 
You, however, can't prepare for having a newborn―no matter what people say. But you can make significant adjustments to your life both before and after the birth of your baby and that's the topic I want to discuss in this post.
 
By the end of this post, hopefully, you'll get valuable insight about how you can channel your life back into order.
 
 
Adjusting Your Lifestyle
 
It goes without saying that you'll likely develop sleep debt, exercise debt, and the like. What's less obvious, though, is that it's much more than time. It's about your space-time continuum. The arrival of a baby and the events downstream will consume your space and time in a non-linear fashion.
 
It's beyond the scope of this post to discuss nursing, psychology, time management, and the like. Nor am I capable of giving such advice. I just want to share with you how becoming a parent literally changed my life in terms of how I operate on a daily level.
 
First, it forced me to switch from the PC to a MacBook. I've flirted with the idea for years, but it was the birth of my baby when I realized that the PC simply consumes too much space, cables are in mesh, and I have less flexibility to work. The MacBook was a game-changer. I was able to work practically everywhere at any time with the comfort of a king.
 
Second, when I purchased my wireless headphones I quickly discovered that I won't miss my loudspeakers anymore. I can listen to inspiring podcasts or my favorite band and take care of my duties, simultaneously. Washing the dishes, taking out the garbage, lifting my dumbbells? No problem, I just put on my magic headphones―with my iPhone laying on the kitchen table (!)―and my favorite podcast is with me all the time, regardless of whether I'm in the bathroom, bedroom, or yard. And my baby would still be sleeping or wondering what the heck dad wears on his shiny head.
 
Luckily I switched to consuming eBooks a couple of years ago, and I can say it was a good deal. EBooks don't take up any place; they're sitting in the cloud (Kindle cloud, by the way). So I can reserve some shelves for the storybooks dedicated to my little baby.
 
I've been extraordinarily resistant to changes for years including those related to the above-mentioned (portable device, headphones, eBooks). I always had an excuse―be it finance, reluctance, or fear―preventing me from diving into new things. Having a child is a perfect time to say no to your reluctant self!
 
Let's discuss the tech side of all those changes a little bit...
 
 
Adjusting Your Techniques
 
I use Nozbe as my task manager that's highly flexible to keep my life in order. I created a Baby project in Nozbe to home tasks that are related to parenting. When my wife was in the hospital with our newborn, I made a grocery-like checklist in Nozbe to ensure that I buy and deliver to the hospital everything my new family needed.
 
It was a highly demanding period: the born of your baby is psychologically demanding itself; on top of that you're supposed to take care of a lot of things, including the certificates of your baby, among others. Nozbe was a great partner in this period, too.
 
Later on, I kept important deadlines in Nozbe about vaccination and the like.
 
I still have my Baby project with a traveling checklist, recurring tasks such as weight recording, and more. This project will never end. Maybe I’ll rename it to, say, "Parenting" for the next twenty years.
 
It's one thing that you keep your tasks in a trusted system, another thing is finding a system to organize your notes.
 
Evernote is the note-taking app that I use on a daily basis to record and keep my notes, clip articles, save my journal entries, and the list is almost endless. I keep a lot of parenting related stuff in Evernote: baby first aid guides, nursing guides, weight journal, notes from the pediatrician, consultation hours, screenshots of diapers and medications, and much more.
 
Keeping a record of the baby's weight is a must. I created automation on my iPhone with the Workflow app: each week when my wife and I are recording the baby's weight, I just push a button on my home screen, enter the weight, and it will automatically appear in my Evernote weight journal with the appropriate date and time.
 
Sounds good? I still have much to improve...
 
 
Future Commitments
 
There's always a place to improve and adjust your productivity system.
 
Selecting the clothes that I like the most is still ahead. The rest is best to go for a charity that will open up a lot of space in my wardrobe. But, again, it goes beyond space: it will free up mental space for me.
 
Integrating regular exercise into my weekly routine is another challenge: I want to fight off this challenge with immersing into different new sports and picking the one I like the most. Without feeling anticipation, it's hard to build a long-lasting habit.
 
It's my sincere hope that you got some ideas and motivation to adjust to dad life (or mom life). Parenting is a lifetime commitment; productivity is a never-ending journey: why not combine the two for multiple outcomes?

Now that my youngest is in 2nd grade, I think this year will be the first where neither kid has any doubt that their admirer is their mom, but I don't care, I'm still going all out! If you want to do something similar for your kids (or friend or significant other) here are the basics:

• Decide how many days you are going to give gifts. I usually choose 7 days, but it may be fun to do it longer (and don't feel bad if you can only make it happen a couple of days!)
• Purchase or make small gifts for each day. I hit up the dollar store or dollar bins for little trinkets. Some examples of items I've purchased are balloons, stickers, mini toys, notebooks, small stuffed animals, candy, snacks, books, and Valentine's socks. I've also made handmade cards, written little poems, drawn pictures or made cookies. I like to include a note with something I love about the kids along with each day’s surprise.
• Decide on a 'reveal' gift. I usually pick something a little larger for the day I announce that it is indeed me, their mama, who has been showering them with gifts. This year they are getting a larger piece of candy and a t-shirt. I got them t-shirts last year, and I was just noticing this week how often my youngest wears that Hogwarts tee from last Valentine's Day, so I decided on a repeat!
• Plan out how the gifts will be delivered. You could go as easy as setting items on the kitchen table at night before you go bed, leaving them at your back door, hiding them in the house, or you could really throw your kids off your trail by mailing them! This year, I put each day's item in an envelope marked with their name and the date it should be opened and put all of those envelopes inside a giant bubble mailer, and one evening, I'll bring it in as if it were dropped off at our house. I'm excited at the anticipation it will bring when they open the package see all the envelopes! I did not include the 'reveal' gift in this envelope, but instead got a very glittery gift bag to give each kid before school on Valentine’s Day including a card explaining that I'm their not-so-secret admirer.
• Enjoy! It’s a lot of fun to make someone else’s day, especially if it’s someone you love!

Around the holidays, I always get the urge to purge!  Life gets so busy between Thanksgiving and Christmas around my house with school programs, parties, shopping, decorating, family gatherings, etc.  It seems extra difficult for me to stay on top of the regular tasks like laundry, dishes and clutter, so this is the time that having less stuff is really appealing.  Whenever this feeling strikes me, I take advantage and get out some trash bags and cardboard boxes!  ​

I like to do pre-holiday purging in the areas that I'm most likely to acquire new stuff.  The prime location to begin, kids' rooms!  It's ideal to involve your kids in this process, explaining that if they want to enjoy new toys or gifts, they have to make some room.  I like to give the kids 5 options on every item in their room:

1. Keep for everyday use
2. Keep as a keepsake
3. Give away to someone we know
4. Donate 
5. Trash

For me and my sons, it works best if I'm in the room with them, holding up each item, but if you have older kids, they may be able to do this process on their own.  Since there are 5 options, we use 5 containers - a combination of trash bags, boxes and storage bins.  To be very thorough, have your smallest child crawl under the bed or to the back of the closet to make sure you get everything!  I have found that option 2, keep as a keepsake, has helped reduce the time it takes to make a decision.  Kids are sure about the things they want to keep and get rid of, but there are some items in between.  Rather than force them to decide one way or the other, we keep a box of keepsakes in the basement.  Occasionally (but not as often as we should) we go through those keepsakes and purge  further.  I also throw in the option of giving away to someone we know because it's easier to get rid of a beloved toy if they know it's going to their younger cousin who will like it (and they may get to play with it at their house, too!) 

Just like I make my kids go through this process, I like to do it myself on my clothes, coats, jewelry, and shoes.  It works out well since this time of year usually aligns with when I do my clothing seasonal switch.  I also like to go through things like CDs, movies, craft supplies, and kitchen gadgets.  If you want to do some in-depth work on your kitchen, check out my video series, 7 Days to an Orderly Kitchen! 

I have a hard time getting rid of things that prove my kids are growing up - like kids' movies and music,  games for younger kids, coloring books, and even little spoons and cups.  This is where giving to someone I know comes in handy for me.  I can much more easily part with a Sonic the Hedgehog activity book, a plastic Spiderman plate and silverware set, or Veggie Tales DVDs when I know my nephews (and now niece!) or a friend's child will enjoy them.  

​In addition to purging, I love to use this time to get organized as well.  The key is to be realistic about how you use your spaces and to store items near where they are typically used.  Using the correct storage solutions is important.  For example, you don't want to stack bins on top of one another that you want to access often. Instead, consider a shelf with bins, hanging closet shelves, a set of drawers, or stacking bins with front access.   Make a list of what storage problems you have and then do a little organization browsing online or in person.  Select one area to focus on first and either purchase or re-purpose some organizing supplies for that area to be complete.  This will give you so much more satisfaction than getting one thing for each room.  You can slowly add to your collection of organizing supplies as time goes on.

On my last day of Thanksgiving vacation, I'm planning a fun filled day of purging!  So family and friends (you know who you are,) prepare yourself for being offered a bunch of stuff we no longer need!  I remember receiving lots of hand-me-down clothes and toys from others who had older kids, and even if I didn't keep everything, I always appreciated free stuff and knowing that someone else thought enough of us to pass down things they used to love.   Happy pre-holiday purging to all!

As the holidays approach, I begin to think more about my Grandma who passed away on Thanksgiving Day 5 years ago.  She lived 98 years, and I had the privilege to know her for 32 of those.  Appropriately, earlier this week I saw a quote, "Be the things you loved most about the people who are gone," and it made me sad to think about three of my four grandparents who are gone.  But then I realized how fortunate I am to have had so many good examples in my life (including my other Grandma who I'm blessed to still have!)  What a great way to honor them by being the things I loved most about them!   

​I have two Grandpas and one Grandma who are in heaven.  I don't know if there's anyway that they can look down on this world or not, but it's comforting to think that they might be.  I hope that if that's the case, they'd be proud to see their granddaughter living out the lessons they taught me.  One of my grandfathers died when I was only 9, but I have vivid memories and lessons learned from him just like I do my other grandpa who died when I was almost 30.  I've chosen three qualities from each of my grandparents that I want to display in my own life, and I'll start with my Grandma Lena who I had a very special bond with.

Grandpa Ralph (married to Grandma Lena)

• Fun and Adventure - He loved to travel, and liked to take a different route every time he went somewhere.  I was born when he was almost 71 years old, but even at that age, he played tag with me, taught me how to 'pump' on the swing in his back yard, and played games with me.  He was always singing and playing his harmonica or ukulele.   A few years ago, I decided I wanted to spend more time doing things that were fun to me - that included giving piano lessons and writing this blog and going on trips with my family.
• Kindness - He was the kindest man I've ever known.  As I said, I was only 9 when he died, but his kindness made a huge impression on me.  He treated me, even as a young girl, with respect.  Maybe that's why I've always talked to my kids more like they were adults than kids - I liked to be talked to and treated that way.  Grandpa had a gentle spirit and was the kind of person you wanted to be around.  That's probably why he was a good salesman and business owner.  I've recently discovered a little streak of sales in myself (I sell organizing supplies if you didn't know) and hearing my parents say I had a little of Grandpa Ralph in me made me beam!  
• Loving Marriage - My Grandpa was what I'd call madly in love with my Grandma.  From the time he was 18 and she was 13, he knew she was the one.  They didn't get married until he was 23 and she was 18, so they were married for 57 years before he passed away.  I've heard all sorts of funny stories how crazy he was about her, and it showed even when they were grandparents like when he called her 'Babe' or left her love notes.  It's wonderful to have seen a relationship that didn't get stale with age and know that's possible in a marriage. 

I'm a bit tear-stained as I write this because I miss them all so much, but it is nice to relive these memories and see how the things I loved so much about these pillars in my life still resonate in me today.  Were these people perfect? of course not, but in these few ways and many more that I don't have time to share, they provided me a framework for a really fulfilling life.  I want to apply these qualities to my life and I sincerely hope that some day my kids and future grandkids will remember some of these same types of things about my life that will help guide their future.  Take the time to list out the things you loved most about the people who are gone from your life, but certainly not forgotten.  It will make your heart feel very full!

I'm overweight - actually obese according US Department of Health.   There I said it – funny how that was so hard since my weight is something that I really can’t hide.  Growing up, I stayed at a pretty healthy weight (probably because of my mom's 2-vegetable-with-one-being-green-at-dinner rule!)  The first time I remember really making an effort to lose weight was when I was getting ready for my wedding.  But back then at 21, I just ate fewer chicken nuggets and jogged a little and - boom, I weighed 133 by wedding day.  Well, since then I've accumulated a lot of things - a husband, a mortgage, two babies, a career, a couple of side hustles, some stress, and a lot of weight!   I remember during my second pregnancy, my doctor logged my 9 months pregnant weight and said, "Have you ever weighed this much before?"  I was a little shocked at the question, and said, "No and I hope I never do again!"  Well, I weigh more now than I did when I gave birth over 7 years ago, and I’ve tried harder than ever during that time frame to lose weight.  It’s frustrating and sometimes disheartening to try and fail over and over again.  I’m tired of the ups and downs. 

​My internal dialogue would be maddening to anyone who could read my mind.  I give myself a pep talk reminding myself I’ve lost weight before so I can do it again, and I make a plan.  Then I try real hard – for a couple of weeks - and when I don’t see the results I want, I give into a little self-pity and feed that with actual food.  I think I might as well just eat whatever I want since I’m already overweight.  I say to myself, “It’s not the number on the scale that matters, it’s what the inside that counts.”  I think I don’t look that bad, and I just need to learn to be happy with who I am and how I look.  But then I see a picture of myself and do a double take because that can’t really be what other people see when they look at me, right?  No, it’s just the camera angle – you’ve got to hold the camera higher.  It IS just the camera angle, right?  I don’t feel like that person in the photo – or in the mirror.  And then I start feeling down and realize that I AM that person, and that person seems lazy and incapable if she can’t do something as simple as control the food that goes in her mouth and the number of steps she takes per day.  The doctor even comments on my weight and tells me there's nothing physically wrong, I just need to eat better, exercise, get more sleep.  I want to scream, “I’VE TRIED THAT!”  They don’t understand my life and how stressed I am and how little time I have - and then insert excuse after excuse.  I finally crumple into the question, “If I can’t lose weight, am I really capable of much else?” 
 
I've told myself so many things about my weight - some are lies and some are truths, but I've lost track of which are which.  I’m speaking as a 37 year-old woman with no medical or psychological training – just my own experience and observations.  I’ve found that my weight is intertwined with so many aspects of my life which is why losing it is not as easy as simply eating less and moving more.

​
​Weight and Relationships
I am blessed to have children who tell me I’m beautiful even when I don’t feel that way and a husband who has never made me feel ugly because of my weight.  My closest friends and family love me unconditionally, so I know that changes in my appearance won't make the people who matter to me love me more or less.  This makes ME the only person I need to impress, and it’s hard for me to do things for myself.  I find it easier to help someone else meet their goals than to take the steps that I need to take to get where I want to go.  I feel selfish when I try to eat differently than my family or take the time to exercise because in my mind, that takes something away from them.  My relationship with myself needs to rise up and take precedence so I can be my best self.  
 
Though I have confidence in my close relationships, it is very easy to compare myself to others.  When I start comparing, I feel bad about myself, but I often turn to excuses.  “If I was a stay at home mom like her, I’d have time to exercise and would be just as fit.”  “If I had as much money as her, I could afford to buy healthier foods, too.”  "If my job were as easy as hers, my stress level would be less, and it would be easier to lose weight.”  Instead of all of these, “If I had…then I would be” statements, I should be looking at the women I’m comparing myself to and learning from them.  I know not all skinny girls have it all together.  I should learn how they manage to get and stay healthy in spite of the struggles of their lives.  

​Weight and Health
I know, intellectually, that my weight does impact my health and that losing even just a little weight will improve my overall health and well-being.  According to the CDC, being obese can increase chances of all sorts of health problems including high cholesterol, type 2 diabetes, coronary heart disease, stroke, mental illness, and body pain.  With all of these risks, you’d think that I’d really focus on decreasing my weight.  Instead, I continue to rationalize why MY weight problem isn’t all that bad.
 
I’ve always had good blood pressure – like, it’s my pride and joy.  No matter how much I’ve weighed my blood pressure has always been normal and usually below normal.  It was like my barometer of health, and I’d rationalize that even though I was overweight, since my blood pressure was good, it wasn’t really impacting my health.  Earlier this year at a routine doctor appointment, my blood pressure was high.  I freaked out because this threw my healthy-though-fat theory out the window.  I've since worked to get it back in the normal range, but it will take constant attention to keep it that way.

As I age, I think more about my own mortality.  I’ve heard people say they want to get healthy for their family, and that’s great – I want more quality time with my family too, but in all honesty – I want to live long and enjoy my own life for me!  I am guilty of the putting off healthy habits -  “I’ll start good eating Monday” and  “after I get through this, I’ll start exercising” and “I’ll start going to bed earlier after summer is over.”  Why do I keep putting it off?  As those of us who are over about 25 know, time seems to accelerate as we age.  I don’t want to miss out on NOW because I don’t have enough energy to enjoy life, and I don’t want to miss out on the future because of the bad habits I have now. ​

​Weight and Age
Between kids, I lost 25 pounds and kept it off for two years (until I got pregnant again.)  I read and followed the South Beach Diet to the letter.  I thrived with a strict program with rules and quick results.  I’ve tried to follow the same program several times since and failed.  Has my body chemistry changed now that I’m getting older and it’s just no use?  A New York Times article says, “Although it is possible to lose weight at any age, several factors make it harder to lose weight with age.”  That’s kind of depressing…The one good thing about the passage of time, though, is the improvements in technology.  A FitBit will surely do the trick or an app to track my calories, right?  Though these are great tools, they don’t do the work for us.  I’m living proof - I’m at the same weight I was before I tried those things.
 
The older I get, the easier it is to tell myself that there’s no one left to impress.  I’ve got a family who loves me, a career, and many great friends.  I’m nearing 40 and maybe my body has just found its happy place, and I need to accept it.  It’s easy to tell myself my body is different now and it’s not my fault that the weight is clinging to me (in all the wrong places, I might add.)  But then I think – I’m not even FORTY, I’ve got many, many years ahead of me – hopefully, I’m not even half done.  Do I want to live the last half of my life not meeting my potential?  I’m older, but I’m wiser and I have more resources and experience than ever.  I certainly know what doesn’t work, so why not use that to my advantage?  I want to make the rest my best!

​Weight and Stress 
Here’s a hot topic and one that we all like to argue about – stress.  What causes it, can we will our way around it, what does it do to our minds and bodies, how should we deal with it?  Stress is defined as “a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.”  We’ve all been there, but we can all think of someone in our lives who’s been there more or longer or in a more extreme way than we have.  I know others who cope in a much healthier way than I do even when they have much more stress.  Who am I to blame stress on every negative thing in my life?  I am blessed in so many ways, and I let the few negatives in my life outweigh all of those positive things.  I’m stressing about what stress is doing to me.  I am in no way denying stress can cause all sorts of physical and mental problems. I’m coming to realize that focusing on the problem instead of the solution is only exacerbating the problem.  Case in point, when my blood pressure went up, I became my son’s science fair project, “Can Yoga Decrease Blood Pressure?”    I did yoga for 15 minutes a day and my blood pressure did decrease.  Was it the yoga in and of itself, or was it that I slowed down, took time for myself, had some physical activity, focused on what I didn’t want for my body, and probably ate a little better?  Not sure exactly why it worked, but it did.  You’d think I’d have kept it up after the project ended, wouldn’t you? But, no, I saw even just 15 minutes a day as disruptive to my schedule. So I stayed in the same stressful state – it gave me something to blame.

​
​Weight and Sleep
Research says that dieters who cut back on sleep over a 14-day period, lost 55% less weight from fat, even though their calories stayed equal.  A sleepy morning increases your chances of taking in more calories, losing impulse control to avoid junk food, and skipping exercise.  The answer to this seems so simple - sleep more.  Why is this so hard for me?  Under the guise of productivity, I stay up too late.  Sleep was one of my areas of focus for this year, but I’ve failed miserably!  I’m constantly tired, hitting the snooze button multiple times a morning, but yet I stay up late to get things done or just watch TV.  I rationalize the need for late night TV as down time after a stressful day.    I know that many experts suggest early morning exercise to jump start a healthy day.  I will never be able to accommodate that if I continue to go to bed so late!  I need to take my own advice and set (and stick to) a bedtime for myself like I set for my kids.

​​Weight and Priorities
My kids and family are my top priority, and I often use this as an excuse not to take care of myself.  My go-to quip when making light the fact I’m overweight is, “Well I love to eat, and I hate to exercise.”  I realized recently that at least half of that statement is a lie.  It turns out I don’t hate being physically active, but what I do hate is exercising when I feel like I’m neglecting another responsibility.  Spending time with my kids, cleaning my house, working, staying caught up with the paperwork of life always take precedence over exercise for me.  I need to make exercise a priority, and by re-framing what my responsibilities really are – setting a good example for my kids and helping them be healthy - I can give myself permission to take care of myself.  

​Weight and Organization
I truly believe that being organized can help me get to and maintain a healthy weight.  The times I’ve been successful with a healthy lifestyle are the times I had a realistic plan, I monitored my progress toward that plan, and had systems in place to help me be successful.  I’ve tried many different diets over the years, and have found it difficult to stick to them.  I need something that is realistic in the long term, can be measured so I can see progress, and can have “shortcuts” set up to help me stick to it.  As I said before, I love food, so depriving myself long term is just not going to work.  I need to measure things – weight, calories, miles, minutes, steps – so I can see forward progress.  I need it to be easy to maintain.     Standard meals or snacks, specific days or times that I do activities, a chart or an app to keep track of it all.  This sounds like the building blocks of success to me! 
 
Another way that being organized helps with weight loss is meal planning.  Going to the store with a plan and a list helps prevent buying on impulse.  Having a list of meals posted on the fridge helps me not to just run to McDonald’s.  Keeping a detailed calendar is going to be critical for making time for exercise.  Either a shared digital calendar or a family calendar on a white board in a central location can allow the entire family to know what to expect.  If you know what is coming up for the next day, you can plan ahead and set out the supplies you will need for exercising or cooking a meal or packing a lunch the night before.  

​My conclusions from exploring my weight loss struggle are this:  I need to go to bed earlier on a regular basis, plan for healthy foods in my house and lunchbox, set a plan about what I’m going to eat and how I’m going to keep moving and monitor my progress, find someone to be accountable to other than myself, schedule exercise even if that means cutting out another activity in my day, consider my quest to become healthier as a service to my kids through my good example.  I also need to love who I am right now, but not in a “you are what you are and that can’t change" way, but in a “you are what you are right now and have the potential to be what you aspire to be" way.  Neither self-loathing or burying my head in the sand will work – only acceptance and continual improvement will really make me healthier and happier.

I’m so ready for back-to-school!  Not because I’m tired of my kids being home for the summer, but because I’m ready to get back into a routine.  I always loved the beginning of the school year as a kid – new clothes and shoes, freshly sharpened pencils, blank notebooks, locker organizers – kind of my dream come true!  I was thinking today about why the beginning of school still excited me as an adult.  Yes, I get to buy supplies for my kids, but there’s more to it than that.  There’s something about a fresh start that appeals to me, and I think we can all learn some lessons from school to help us live our best life this school year.
 
Refresh your wardrobe and get a haircut
Kids usually get a few new outfits and shoes because they’ve grown out of the clothes from the previous school year.  We go through their entire wardrobe and get rid of things that are too small or they won’t wear to avoid any fashion arguments!  This time of year is also a great time to refresh your own wardrobe.  Go through your closet and donate items you haven’t worn in the past several months, items that don’t fit, or ones you just don’t like.  Make a list of what items you need to “fill in the blanks” of your wardrobe.  Watch for sales and treat yourself!  We get our kids a haircut prior to the first day so they look fresh and clean.  Make an appointment for yourself, too.  This could be the one time per year that you spend a little extra or try a new style.  

Keep a regular sleep schedule
Just today, our family discussed what fair bedtimes are for the kids when school starts and what time they need to get up to have plenty of time in the mornings before school.  This will be a big change from our summer routine where the kids’ bedtimes go out the window – and so does mine.  I find myself staying up way too late on a regular basis, but still having to get up at the same time to go to work.  By the end of the summer I’m exhausted and sleeping in late on the weekends to try to catch up.  When school starts, the kids will each have a set bedtime and wakeup time.  I plan to create my own, reasonable bedtime as well as a wakeup time that doesn’t involve the snooze button!

Eat healthy breakfasts and pack a lunch
When school is in session, I make more of an effort to feed my kids a healthy breakfast to give them a good start to their day.  It’s so easy for us as busy adults to skip breakfast or scarf down something on the go.  When school starts, it’s a great opportunity to plan your morning to include a healthy breakfast at the table with your family.  Many days my kids pack their lunches, and we have various options that are easy to pack and are fairly healthy.  Packing a lunch for myself alongside the kids will help me not only to save money on eating out, but help to control my portion size and the nutritional value of what I eat for lunch.

Embrace a fresh start and the opportunity to learn new things
Kids literally start the school year with a blank slate, and they have the opportunity to take new classes from new teachers.  It’s a great time of year for us to forgive ourselves for failed attempts in the past and make new resolutions and plans for new habits.  Is it time for us to take a class, read a book, attend a webinar about something new?

Be active and enjoy recess
My kids have gym class at least once a week, and recess every day.  They also participate in sports during the school year.  I need to follow suit and be more active.  I can use the time they spend at sports practices to be active myself, and why not enjoy a “recess” during the day and take a quick walk?

Create systems to manage time
With all the commitments kids have these days, they have to learn to manage their time, plan ahead and just plain remember what all they need to do!  We are in the process of finalizing what the daily routine will be and then will create a checklist to keep track of it all.  I will print out a grid with the items that need completed down the left-hand side with the days of the week across the top.  The paper will go in a page protector and be displayed on the fridge with a magnetic clip.  The kids will use a dry erase marker to mark off their daily accomplishments.  This makes it reusable, but also easy to change if we add or take away a responsibility.  It’s great to pair one of your own responsibilities to your kids’ – for example, when they practice piano, you wash dishes or when they do homework, you read.  Consider planning your day the night before with specific timebound tasks.  Always overestimate how long it will take you to do things so that you don’t get frustrated!

Cut back on screen time
During the school year, our kids don’t have any screen time from Monday to Thursday (unless homework requires it.) We started this a couple of years ago, and it’s amazing – attitudes are much improved and since there is no expectation of screen time, we don’t hear whining or complaining.  This means my husband and I don’t turn on the TV until after the kids are in bed, and sometimes we don’t even turn it on at all.  It’s my goal to use the time I normally would watch TV to do other things – read, play board games, talk to my husband, take bubble baths, take a walk, etc.

Catch up with friends
One of the best parts of the first day of school for me was always seeing my friends that I hadn’t seen much over the summer.  We would catch up and tell each other what we did over the vacation.  We looked forward to eating lunch together and playing at recess together.  As adults, why don’t we designate the start of the school year as a time to plan some lunch dates and fun activities with old friends?

​Last week, I saw a picture on social media of a friend's son proudly holding a fish he caught on his kid-sized fishing pole.  I was immediately sad and guilty.  Strange reaction to an adorable picture, right?  I felt that way because back in May, when I asked my youngest son what he wanted to do this summer, "going fishing" was on the top of his list, and he reminded me that it was also on the top of his summer list last year - and we still hadn't gone.  I realized that summer was going so fast! I wanted to provide my kids the kind of summer memories I had as a child, and I was not measuring up to my own expectations.  Then I started thinking about how quickly my kids' childhoods were flying by and then made the mistake of counting how many more summers both of my kids would be at home and estimating how many of those that they'd want to spend the majority of their time with their parents.  I was literally welling up with tears at these thoughts!

I gave myself a few hours to feel upset and sad, but then I decided this was something I could easily change!  I decided we were going fishing this week, and I was going to plan some fun and engaging activities together.  I have my kids make a "what I want to do this summer" list every year, and this year I'd been doing so much, I was tired every evening and was content to just watch TV together.  Yes, we were together, but I was often working on something else at the same time, and we certainly weren't checking things off that list!  I'd probably be less tired if I were more active, and I had no doubt that I'd be happier while making memories with my kids.  This week was dramatically different!

Here was a snapshot of our evenings this week.  It was a blast!

Monday
Scouts for oldest and Dad, 1.5 mile nature scavenger hunt for youngest and Mom.  My son has been talking about the hawk we saw up close all week!  I loved seeing him get excited about finding things on our list and especially enjoyed watching him chase a butterfly.
​

​Tuesday
Video shoot of both boys making trick shots into a hamper (appropriately called the Slam Dunk Hamper,) This was a fun way to involve the kids in my Clever Container Organizing Products business, 

Wednesday
The entire family walked/rode scooters to the park and played HORSE and played a game of 2 on 2.  I'm just about as good as I was when I played eighth grade basketball - I'll leave it at that!

Thursday
Dad had to work late, so Mom took both boys to the State Park for a picnic, a hike, and FISHING!  Even though we didn't catch anything, both boys loved it, and I felt like Super Mom while baiting their hooks.

This week was so much fun, but a little tiring and the housework definitely got pushed to the back burner!  I learned a few things:

• We don't have to spend much money to have fun
• Being outside together is fun
• Being active is rewarding (I'm meeting my step goals!)
• It's fun to check things off the kids' summer lists - letting kids pick some of the things we do makes them more engaged.  
• Brand new experiences make great memories.
• I think a night or two "off" would probably be ideal so we don't get tired and my house doesn't turn into a disaster zone.
•  Less screen time equals better attitudes for everyone!

I like to be self-sufficient, and I enjoy learning new things or figuring out how to accomplish a new task.  There are some types of tasks that I won't even attempt, but for most things, I'll at least do a little Googling or YouTube video watching and give it a go.  Though this "I can do it" attitude may help me become more well-rounded, save a little money, and keep things interesting, it can also severely impact my productivity and can create frustration both for me and my family!  Over time, I've learned that there is real value in finding the right person for the job!

At work and at home, it's impossible for us to do it all, though I'm guilty of trying to do it anyway.  I used have a hard time with the group project concept.  I felt like it would just be easier to do it all myself.  At least that way, I knew it would get done.   Doing it myself meant that I knew the progress of the project and the barriers to getting it completed so I could figure out ways to overcome the barriers and meet the deadline.  This mentality causes stress, burnout, and ultimately leads to lower quality work and delayed results.  Why is it then, that it's so hard to relinquish a little control and trust others to help me? ​

​A great example of how finding the right person to do the job produced fantastic and quick results was when I wanted to create a logo for my blog.  I had an idea in my head, but I thought it would be too difficult for me to articulate that to someone else, so I tried to do it myself. I tried and tried to bring my vision to life, but without the proper tools or expertise in graphic design, I just couldn't produce something I was happy with.  I considered hiring someone, but I talked myself out of that by rationalizing that I was saving money by doing it myself and I could remain authentic to my own creative plans for my logo.  Well, what happened is that I didn't launch my blog because I didn't have what I felt was the perfect logo, and I became more and more frustrated and wasted a LOT of time. ​

​I now am much more inclined to hire work done or ask for help and suggestions.  The old saying, "time is money" is so true.  I could spend ten times as long doing something that would be a lower quality than if I hired the right person for the job.  I could use that time in a different way to produce real results.  I'm a big believer in frugality, so of course I don't hire someone to do everything for me!  I pick and choose what I can afford, what meets the biggest and most urgent need, and what I don't want to or don't have the capacity to learn how to do myself.  There are some things that are just fun to dabble in and the difference in the end result of me doing it versus a professional wouldn't be that noticeable, but then there are all the other things where an expert is definitely the right choice.  

This concept also applies to situations at home or work where we would should delegate a task to someone who is best equipped to do it.  Best equipped can mean they are an expert or they have the capacity to become an expert or simply that they have time to do the task.   When we delegate, though, we have to learn to accept the results may not be exactly as if we had done the task ourselves.  I have my kids do certain chores at home, and maybe the cleaning isn't quite as thorough as I would have done it, but it's done and I was able to complete other tasks instead. 

​I also try to remember that it's all about choice.  By choosing to do something myself (or learn how to do something on my own), I am also choosing not to spend that time on something else.  To get and keep my life in order, I have to learn to choose to spend my time wisely so that there is time for the things I'm good at, time for the things I enjoy doing, time for the things I am required to do, and most importantly, time for the people I love.

Once you've arrived

• Text/email family when you arrive (and return) so they know you’re safe.
• Unpack completely at the hotel if you're staying longer than 2 nights, and pick up each morning. Hang up clothes on the hangers you packed, and consider using  wrinkle release spray or the hotel's iron if needed.
• Take a small bin to corral toiletries on the bathroom vanity.  
• Public transportation is fun – use taxis, buses, trains, trolleys, etc.  Look into day or weekend passes, but if you pay cash, you may need exact change.  Look for free trips (example sometimes hotels and attractions have deals for free taxi or shuttle rides.)  Car rental is nice, but if you're in big city, you may not need it the whole time.  Plan your itinerary so all attractions that you need a vehicle for are scheduled close together.  
• Eat at local restaurants as much as possible. Try new or local foods (we discovered our love of chicken and waffles while in Atlanta!)  Plan at least one breakfast away from free hotel breakfast!  Consider sharing meals when possible.
• Be sure to check booth/tables each time you leave a restaurant for bags/souvenirs and check seats on public transportation to make sure you don't leave a jacket or purse.
• Take a picture of where you park and of the license plate and car if it's a rental.
• Carry a backpack to attractions.  Take in food and water if allowed, include hand sanitizer, sunscreen, power pack for your phone, tickets, a few plastic shopping bags for wet clothes or trash, and ponchos or a small umbrella if you're going to be outdoors and the weather is questionable.
• Take  extra outfits, shoes/flip flops, and plastic shopping bags for kids anywhere they may get wet.  You never know when there's going to be a splash pad!
• Look through pictures each night and delete the ones that are no good or are duplicates, and upload to Google Photos (or your preferred cloud photo storage.)  Send the link to family so they can see what you are doing each day.
• Plan a low-key day mid-vacation, build in time to swim at hotel and rest a few times during the vacation.  Rent a movie on the hotel room TV and have pizza delivered for a really relaxing night!
• A 15 minute walk is very doable to get places!  The more you walk, the more you can eat and not feel guilty!  If you walk a lot, to avoid chafing, use deodorant or vaseline on any area that may rub.
• Book a hotel with guest laundry facilities. Take travel-sized laundry detergent and cash for change, and do all of the laundry the night before leaving.  Fold laundry before putting in the suitcase keeping each family member's clothing together.  It's very nice not to have a ton of laundry to do when you get home!  If doing laundry at the hotel isn't an option, pack all dirty laundry in one suitcase on the way home.

I hope some of these tips will help your next family vacation be a little more organized!  Consider making your own list of travel dos and don'ts.  My list has helped me not to forget things, plan for the unexpected, and have a better plan so I can relax and have fun!  If you have more tips, please share in the comments.

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5. Don't let sentiment cause clutter
My dad is somewhat of a minimalist.  He doesn't care for a coffee table in the middle of the room or many knick knacks sitting around.  My dad had a decent sized record collection, some of which he'd had since he was a teenager.  They were stored in a wooden cabinet with sliding doors.  Several years ago, he wanted to use the record cabinet for another storage purpose (in the garage on that wall in front of the vehicles - thank you hanging tennis ball for keeping it safe!)  In order to use it for garage storage,  he got rid of the records. I remember feeling sentimental about him getting rid of them and they weren't even mine.  He didn't let sentiment cause any unnecessary clutter.  I'm grateful that my husband and brother got several of the records for their own collections!

6.  Research and analyze which is cheaper and better - fixing/refurbishing or buying new
This one may only apply if you have the ability to fix things yourself. If you know my dad, you know he can fix just about anything!  There are times that most people would have just gotten a new (insert whatever is broken in your house) but my dad did the research to fix it.  For instance, he put a brand new bottom in the bathtubs instead of replacing them.  It was cheaper and less work in the long run than tearing out the old one and installing a new one.  There are times though, were  you've fixed as much as you can fix, and it's just time to buy new.  

7.  Label generously
My dad has been making labels as long as I can remember!  His go to is masking tape and a sharpie.  Putting labels on things helps to identify them (the reason spices of similar colors are labelled in my mom's spice cabinet) and helps us remember where things go (this is why I label my clear bins in my refrigerator - I certainly don't want my raw meat to ever go in the bin where my yogurt is supposed to go!)  I have to admit, I did think my dad took it a little far when I saw that he had labelled the tape dispenser, "TAPE."

The definition of incompetence is the inability to do something successfully; ineptitude.  The simple inability to do something doesn’t bother me, it’s when the individual either has been in a position to learn how to do the task and still can’t do it, the individual pretends they know how to do something that they really can’t, OR the worst is when someone makes a mistake and doesn't own up to it and apologize!  I began to expect incompetence, and the more I expected it, the more I saw it all around me.   ​

I began to wonder, had society simply lowered its expectations of service and knowledge (read the post, Why Can’t Things Be Easier?)   Or was it because people were so distracted by all the inputs in life that they couldn’t focus on any one task long enough to master it?  Or was it because helicopter parenting and the everyone-gets-a-trophy mentality had stopped us from being challenged or encouraged to do our best work?  Wow, I was getting cynical, and it bothered me.  How could I change my attitude and my pet peeve?

It FINALLY feels like Spring in Indiana, which means it's time for me to embark on the monumental task of the "seasonal switch."  This is when I put away the wintery clothes and get out the spring/summer clothes that are stored in totes in the basement.  It doesn't sound hard in that single sentence, but it is SUCH a process!  This year I decided to do things a little differently to try to make it more efficient and enjoyable.

I have two boys, so I save everything that's in decent shape from the older one for the younger boy.   Since they are 4 years apart, that means I have tote after tote labelled by size.  Currently I have totes for size 6, size 7, and two totes for size 8 (as the clothes get bigger it takes more room to store the same amount), an 8/10, a 10/12, a 12/14, a 16/18, one for my oldest boy's out of season clothes that still fit, one for my out of season items that fit, my too small tote, and my husband's out of season - oh and then there's one for boots (or sandals depending on the season), one for hats/ gloves, one for coats/jackets, and one for kids' shoes that my youngest hasn't grown into yet!  That's a lot of totes!  And it never fails that the one I want is on the bottom of the stack, so I have to do an intricate redesign of the towers of totes to get to it.

Yesterday was the day I decided to tackle this season's switch, and even though I think I've come up with a pretty good new system, there's no denying, it's still a lot of work!  Here's the new way I'm doing things and how I am organizing the totes of clothes so that when, in a couple weeks I ​find some T-shirt or pair of sweats that somehow escaped the switch , it'll be a cinch to store it because I'll be able to identify which bin it should go in AND access it easily.

Step 1 - Sort the new season's clothes
Don't start with what's currently in your closet or drawers - if you do that you may end up sleeping in a tent for two weeks.  That's what happened to my then-6-year-old last year when I switched his summer clothes to fall/winter clothes.  I started by sorting through the clothes in his drawers, deciding what would be too small next year and what I could save.  Then I didn't have anywhere to store the clothes for the next summer because the storage bins were full of the fall/winter clothes that I hadn't gotten out yet.  So, I dumped the fall/winter clothes on the bed, filled the emptied bins with the summer clothes, and took them to the basement.  When it was bedtime, I was OVER clothes sorting, and since his bed was a mound of long pants, sweaters and long johns, I tried to make it fun and let him sleep in a tent on his floor that night.  Well, one night turned many nights, and I actually lost track of how long he'd been sleeping in a tent until one night he said, "Mom, when can I sleep in my bed again? I've been sleeping in this tent since the night we watched the nun movie!"  He was talking about Sister Act, which we'd watched a full two weeks earlier!  

So to avoid tent sleeping due to a clothes infested bed, start with the new season's clothes.  I store our out of season duds in the basement, so I started with one family member (my youngest because I felt bad about the tent incident.)  I brought up several bins that contained sizes he may fit in this summer (if only there was truly a universal sizing system so I didn't have to have him try on sizes 6 through 8!)  I pulled everything out of each bin and put aside anything that was visibly too small or out of season (if I were better at planning I would have had my kids so they'd be the same sizes during the same seasons...)  and made a giant pile of what I needed for him to try on.  I did this only one bin at a time because, if you have boys you know that trying on clothes is something they can only endure for a very short amount of time.  We tried everything on and decided if it fit and if he liked it enough not to whine about wearing it.  We made three piles: it fits, it's too small or he won't wear it, and it's too big.  When we were done with each bin, we put all the items that fit into the laundry room clothes sorter, the too small items into a bag for my nephew (so my sister-in-law can store those at HER house!), and the too big pile back into the tote it came from.  We repeated with all of his bins (after some breaks in between each one.)

You can repeat this process for each member of the family:

1. ​Get out ALL totes that contain clothes for the upcoming season
2. Before trying anything on, sort out items that visibly won't fit or you don't like
3. Try on everything else, and create three piles:
   1. fits
   2. will never fit again (for kids these would be too small, for adults it is clothes that are for a weight that you realistically won't be again within a year or two)  OR clothes you don't like.  If it's something you know you won't wear because it's not flattering or it's a color you don't care for - donate it!  Don't waste precious closet space to store something you won't wear.
   3. will fit in the future (for kids these would be too big, for us adults, this could be the clothes that are within a few pounds of our current weight)
4. Put items that fit into the laundry
5. Put will never fit again/don't like clothes into a donate box
6. Put will fit in the future clothes back in a tote.

Step 2 - Sort the previous season's clothes
While the new season's clothes are in the laundry, go through the clothes that are currently in your closet and drawers.  Use the same general strategy as you did with the upcoming season's clothes with a couple of tweaks.

1. ​Take items directly from your drawer or closet and make a decision on each item (in other words, don't take them all out and make a giant pile.)  This allows you to do a little at a time and not risk the tent- sleeping -for-two-weeks fate.
2. Create three piles:
   1. fits
   2. will never fit again (for kids these would be too small, for adults it is clothes that are for a weight that you realistically won't be again within a year or two)  OR clothes you don't like.  
   3. will fit in the future (for kids these would be too big, for us adults, this could be the clothes that are within a few pounds of our current weight)
3. If you can make a decision without trying it on (since you likely recently wore most of these items) just put it into the appropriate pile.  But if there is any doubt, try it on!
4. Put items that fit or will fit in the future into the empty bins created when you emptied the upcoming season's clothes.  You may consider creating one bin for "will fit in the future" and another for "fits now" or you could put them all together since you'll have to sort them next season anyway.
5. Put will never fit again/don't like clothes into a donate box
6. Label the tote clearly on multiple sides.  If it's kids' clothes, mark the size and gender, but if it's adults' clothes, just mark it with the name (and if you separated by fits and will fit in the future, indicate that as well.)  Label it on multiple sides so that no matter which direction the tote is stored, you can see the label.  Colored duct tape and a sharpie make easy and cheap labels that can be removed so your totes can be reused.

Step 3 - Store out of season clothes
This is the biggest thing I'm excited about!  I am going to bite the bullet and do something I've been thinking about for several years...I'm buying shelves for my totes!    (I know big step, right?)  When totes are on shelves that means you don't have to play that game like the one you played as a kid where a square was filled with tiles and there's one blank space and you have to move tiles around to get them in a certain order.   I've ordered the shelves and can hardly wait til they arrive (don't worry, I'll let you know on Facebook when they do!)  Mine will go in my basement for the out of season clothes, but these could easily work in a garage or pole barn for anything you store in totes.

Bonus tips

• Make sure to put the tote containing the size of your oldest child in the most accessible spot because, as they grow out of things, you will want to be able to add to that bin without a lot of hassle!
• Keep a trash bag with handles hanging in the laundry room so you can toss too small kids' clothes for giveaway in it right after they come out of the dryer. 

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Step 4 - Put away new season's clothes
After you've washed all the new season's clothes, put them away in your closet or drawers.  Use this as an opportunity to purchase new (or re-purpose other items as) closet and drawer accessories to keep you organized.  Some of my favorites for the closet are the hangers that allow you to hang multiple items and then collapse to save closet rod space, belt hangers or a purse hanger which takes advantage of vertical space, a scarf hanger which take advantage of the depth of your closet without hogging closet rod space, a cami hanger which can handle multiple sleeveless tops in the space it takes to hang one hanger, fabric totes where you can store items like t-shirts, hats, athletic clothes, stacking bins for closet shelves, hanging shoe holders, or shoes shelves.  In your drawers, use clear plastic shoe boxes or wire inboxes intended for a desk to divide large drawers, or criss-cross  organizers for socks and underwear.  

I hope these 4 steps will help your "seasonal switch" go much smoother this year.  If you are lucky enough to have huge closets, you may not even need to go through this difficult process (I'm jealous!) but for most of us, we have to store at least part of our clothing in a different location when they are out of season.  If you have multiple kids and are saving their clothes for a younger sibling - kudos to you for saving all that money!  Take it from a mom who's done it the hard way for way too many years and try some of these tips.  

Saying kind things doesn't only improve the mood of those you're complementing, it also helps your own mood.  I remember when my Grandma was alive, sometimes when I had a bad day, I'd call her - not to complain about my day, but rather to cheer her up.  In hearing her mood improve, it made me feel better - a win, win!  Why does this work - is it because we shift our focus and forget about our problems or is it that by shifting our focus, our attitude about our problems actually changes?

Since hearing Achor speak, I started a new dinnertime routine with my family.  Each night we go around the table taking turns saying three specific things we were grateful for that day.  They can be as small as, "I'm grateful for these great hamburgers that Dad grilled" or "I'm grateful for going on a walk in the sunshine today."  The research shows that after 21 days of recording specific gratitude, our brains actually start perceiving the world differently because we are looking for things to be grateful for, so those things are at the forefront and the negatives - which still exist - are in the background.  I'm eager to look back after we've done this for a few weeks at what made us feel gratitude and notice our happiness increasing!  Once we become happier, we improve in many ways - health, productivity and our influence on others all benefit.  Achor did a popular TED talk you may want to check out called "The Happy Secret to Better Work."   I've heard many productivity experts talk about gratitude journals and have had a hard time keeping one for myself, but adding my family in the mix has helped me make this a part of my day that I look forward to!

Traditions create memories
We have hosted a kids' Halloween costume party since our oldest was about 3 years old.  I have pictures of both of my kids and their friends and their friends parents in all sorts of fun costumes.  We often talk about things like "that time we stuck our hands into a bucket with cold spaghetti and thought it was guts!"

Traditions help us mark the passage of time
From the time I started school, my mom took a first day of school picture in front of the refrigerator.  She could tell how much we'd grown by how close we were to the line between the fridge and the freezer.  She has a first and a last day of school picture of my brother and me for every school year.  When my kids started school, I did the same thing, but instead of the refrigerator, I use the back door.  It's fun to see how much the kids have grown each year.

The really fun part about traditions is there are so many opportunities to create them - major and minor holidays, firsts, lasts, even just days of the week!  Something as simple as dinner out on a Friday is something I've heard my husband recall about his childhood.  It doesn't have to be grand or expensive to count as a tradition.  It just has to create joy, have some consistency, and be able to be recreated by our families or friends in the future.  What kinds of traditions do you have in your family and how have they helped you maintain order in your life?

This week I announced that I'm giving away a copy of the book, Get Momentum: How to Start When You're Stuck by Jason and Jodi Womack.   (If you're reading this before 9 p.m. on Wednesday, March  21, 2018 there's still time to enter to win!)  I highly recommend this book to help you get started on any project whether it be personal, work, or a passion project.  Get Momentum first helps you to figure out why you're stuck and then breaks down getting momentum into 5 steps:

The very first step kind of stopped me in my tracks: "What do I want to be known for?" Before I even read the chapter, I made a quick list (in no particular order of importance):​

After I made the list and really thought about my day-to-day life, I began to wonder how others really saw me.  Just because this is what I WANT to be known for doesn't mean that this is how the world is seeing me - I have to take action to make sure these qualities are visible.  There's no doubt I want these things to be true about me, but what am I DOING to make them true, and what should I avoid to negate these statements?  I can be kind most of the time, but if I'm unkind some of the time, will that cancel out a perception of my kindness? or will the world take the time to weigh my kindness against my unkindness and award me with being "known for" the one that I've done the most?  Without putting pressure on myself to be perfect, how can I Iive to create the kind of legacy I want to leave?  

This is heavy stuff!  Thankfully, there were more exercises in the book to help me work through all of this.  One of the activities that helped me the most was figuring out how I spent my time.  As I've mentioned before, time is one of my weaknesses, so I needed to figure out if I was proving what I wanted to be known for by how I was spending my time.

• Was I being present with my kids? 
• How much time was I working on staying "on top of things" at home and at work? 
• How often was I actually helping someone else achieve a goal? 

I've tried various methods of tracking my time in the past, from pen and paper to an elaborate spreadsheet I created, but I decided to try something new this time and downloaded the Toggl app at the recommendation of some of my productive friends.  This let me track my time in real time with a stopwatch-type feature or record my time later if I forgot to start the clock.  After a week or so, I could look at a high level pie chart to see how I was spending my time.  I could easily see that I was working way more than I was spending time with my kids and family (even when I kind of cheated and counted driving to the grocery store with the kids in the back seat as "family time!")

The real difference maker was when I answered the next couple of questions in the exercise.  The first was: "What do I wish were different?"  You may have heard the saying, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results."  Insane may be a bit of an overstatement, but if I want things to be different, I'm going to have to change.  I think we could all make a long list of what we'd like to be different in our lives, but what are we doing to make that happen?  If you're like me, I've gotten to this point before - I know what I want things to be like and then make a giant plan of all the things I'm going to change to make it happen.  And then I fail because that amount of change all at once is overwhelming. 

That's why the second question this section asked was really valuable to me:  "Do I really need to make changes now?  Should and can I wait?"  Yes, I definitely need to make some changes, but which of them are critical or should be done first?  It takes time to form new habits - longer than you'd think.  Gretchen Rubin, author of many books including Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of our Everyday Lives, wrote about this in her blog post, "Stop Expecting to Change Your Habit in 21 Days."  Give yourself time and space to make a change and really master it before adding more change.  ​

I chose one change to start with - during the school week, I will try not to work on my day job or on my passion project (this blog!) from the time I get home until the kids go to bed unless they are involved in some way that they enjoy.  This should include checking email on my phone... I'm doing better, but I'm still not perfect.  If I can involve the kids and they enjoy it, then that's a win-win.  For example my oldest son has been helping me with live Facebook videos - that's fun for both of us.  By making that one change,  I'm working toward one of the things I want to be known for - being present and involved with my kids and family because we are using that time to play family games, read together, or just talk.

I will add some more changes soon - once the family time on weeknights is a real habit.  In the meantime, I'm trying to keep my short list of what I want to be known for front of mind as I make decisions or even speak - is what I'm about to do or say going to cause others to "know me" for being kind or helping them achieve their goals; is how I'm choosing to spend my time helping me stay on top of my responsibilities?  If the answer is no, I need to rethink my actions!

How about you - have you thought about what you want to be known for and what that really means in your daily life?  I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments.  If Get Momentum sounds like a book you'd like to read, you can earn entries for the giveaway by visiting the Facebook page and/or simply like and comment on this post below before Wednesday, March 21, 2018 at 9 p.m.  to get an entry!  

​Sources

Womack, Jason W., and Jodi Womack. Get Momentum: How to Start When You're Stuck. Wiley, 2016.
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Rubin, Gretchen. “Stop Expecting to Change Your Habit in 21 Days.” Gretchen Rubin, 16 Oct. 2009, Stop Expecting to Change Your Habit in 21 Days.

Photo by Niklas Rhöse on Unsplash
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A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about how my journey to get my life in order began.   There were two key things I learned initially that I've been trying to implement ever since:  

1. Don't expect more from myself than I expect of others.
2. Set boundaries, and stick to them.

Today, I want to elaborate on the first point.  I had an AHA! moment when I talked to my coach about all I was dealing with. She repeated everything I had listed on my responsibility list and asked me if I would expect someone else to handle all of those things in the manner I had explained that I wanted them done.  I immediately said, "No."  When she said if that was true, then I couldn't expect that of myself, I felt kind of stupid.  I mean, that made a lot of intellectual sense, and even though I wanted to insert a "but" and follow it some logical reasoning - I couldn't.  She was right, just plain right.

Realizing, and then internalizing that lower self-expectation didn't mean I wasn't good at my job, good at being a mom or a wife or a friend or a homemaker or any of the other roles I was in - it was FREEING!  I could be a "regular person" and didn't have to keep up the superwoman facade.  I deserved the same respect and grace that I gave to others, and I was really the only one who could give that to myself.  As easy as it is to complain about how others treat us or what they expect of us - as I've often told my kids, "you're in charge of you."  I needed to realize that applied to me as well!

• Parenting/Family Time - I was fortunate to have amazing parents, and I want to be the same for my kids.  I choose not to spend as much time on other things so I can spend more time with my family (and be less stressed doing it!)  Deciding on my family as a priority over a clean house or a packed schedule doesn't mean that I don't get to have my own interests, hobbies, and friends or that I don't get to spend some time alone.   I think by having outside interests, it shows kids what being a well-rounded adult is like.  Even so, I feel pretty strongly that the the old adage about quality over quantity time is only partly true.  I guess this is where I've lowered my own expectations - I focus on quantity and don't worry so much about quality.  Being home nightly for dinner and bedtime, spending some parts of weekends at home all together, and attending school and sporting events - those are quantity goals.  The quality part comes in the consistency and just "happens."  It's impossible to create quality without some quantity.  We may eat a speed dinner before cub scouts; I might have to sing a lightening fast song and say only a short prayer before lights out because of an evening commitment; or I might fall asleep on the couch while the kids watch a movie in the same room - but I was there, and it's still communicating that being WITH the family is important to me - because it is.  Even though I'd love to, I don't have to be the PTA president to be involved at their school, I don't have to give them expensive gifts to show them what they mean to me - I can simply choose them, have routines and traditions in our home, listen, be present, and show affection.  I'm certainly not perfect, but I'm  learning the balance ...I may say "I love you" too much, but I'll risk that!   

Keeping expectations for myself at bay is a constant struggle, but it's a struggle worth having.  Feeling accomplished and satisfied with my less-than-perfect life is so worth it! ​Do you agree that lowering self-expectation is a good idea, a way to survive and thrive in this fast paced world we live in?  Or do you disagree and feel that we should expect more of ourselves?  I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

He had just put into words how I’d felt since he’d been born.  Each age was so much fun, he was so cute and sweet, I could control his environment, he was healthy and safe, and I just didn’t want him to get any bigger.  But then he inevitably would, and then THAT would become my favorite age - and that repeated over and over again.  If I really could have frozen time when he was 2 years old, think of what I would have missed!  (and all the not-so-nice parts about having a 2 year old that I would have to repeat...) And what about the people in the world that weren’t happy, or even worse, weren’t safe or healthy at the point in time that I thought was so good I wanted to live it over and over?  Would I want to inflict pain on others just so I could live perpetually happy?  No, of course not.  ​